If this were your child what would you do?

Question

My 5 year old son is in kindergarten, and at lunch yesterday (at 11) he had to go to the bathroom, and they wouldn't let him. He told them he had to poop. Well, he held it as long as he could and then had a small accident. This would be the first accident EVER! He was very embarrassed about it, and didn't ask for fresh clothes. I know the teachers and students smelled it, because when I picked him up at three he smelled awful. He would not talk about what happened at first, but when he finally told me I felt so bad for him. He was so embarrassed. I know this may sound ridiculous, but I was so mad that he had to deal with all day when it could have easily been prevented. I understand they can't let everyone go to the bathroom everytime they ask, but when a five year old says he has to poop...he probably does.

Should I say something to the school or let it go? He was so upset by this.

Answer 1

Yes, you should speak to his teacher(s) and get their story and see if it is significantly different than from your son's account. They may have said wait until _____ comes back or something and then he could have forgotten until it was too late.

Or it could have been just like your son said and then you should find out why a kindergartener was not allowed to use the bathroom.

In either case WHY didn't anyone take the time to take him aside to get him changed. If he was to embarrassed to change, he or 'someone' should have 'spilled' something on the outside of his pants and then that would be why he needed to be changed.

Yes teachers may have more kids, but kindergarten teacher especially have to be more mindful of the little one’s needs.

Answer 2

I would confront the teacher first and ask why he was not allowed to go the bathroom and find out why he sat in it all day especially if he smelled. There is no excuse that when a child asks to go to the bathroom, especially a 5 yr old, that they are not allowed to go. There should be no set time that they are only allowed to go then. If they are not allowed to go by themselves, then there should have been someone readily available or another student perhaps to go with him.

If the teacher doesnt have an answer I would go to the principal and explain what happened.

I would also want an assurance that it would never happen again.

My son was not allowed to go to the bathroom on day because her was caught playing, and had an accident urinating on himself aand everyone laughed at him and called him a baby.

i dont thing a child should not be allowed to go to the bathroom. It can cause several problems including medical. You son is lucky he did not bleed on his bottom from the bm in his pants. It is just like a baby sitting in a diaper with bm for several hours. The baby would have a real red bottom, possibly start bleeding if left too long.

I hope your son is ok.

Answer 3

I think you should look at this more closely and ask more questions? Is this school too big to handle my sons needs? Are the teachers insensitive to my child's needs? How could my child go so long with obvious accident (poop) and go undetected? Why wasn't I called? These types of things can have a lasting impact on a child. Adults today have problems based on things that happened in their earlier years. You have every right to be upset and get answers front he school.

Answer 4

DEFINITELY speak to the teacher AND principal about this. I had problems with a teacher doing this when I was in junior high (a little old, I know) and my dad simply told me to walk out of class if I really and truly thought that I was going to have an accident. In your son's case, I would inform the teacher that holding in urine or feces can cause a lot of harm and if your son develops some sort of medical problem because of it, hand her your lawyer's business card. But talk to them first and try to handle it that way. If that doesn't work, go higher (school board).

Answer 5

You have every right to march down there and damand an explanation from the school. When my daughter was that age she had an accident in school but I recieved a phone call letting me know what happened and that I should bring her a change of clothes. YOu should have been notified by the school instead of finding out at the end of the day. At your child's age he should be allowed to go to the bathroom when he has to go--not when it is convenient for his teacher.

Answer 6

If this were my child, I would immediately go to the school in person and speak to my child's teacher to find out what happened and if it turned out that the teacher/s, in fact, refused to allow him to go to the bathroom, I would file a formal complaint with the school.

Not allowing a child to go to the bathroom when the child states he/she has to go is UNACCEPTABLE and is a form of abuse. And after your child had the accident, the school should have contacted you right away to bring in some clean pants and underware, instead of letting him sit in soiled clothes the rest of the day ...and them not doing so is a form of neglect. In addition, it is a health risk for kids to retain their bodily waste.

Using the Bathroom Is a RIGHT, not a privilege.

Answer 7

I would be furious. 5 yr old should nver ever be expected to hold it that long! I would march up to that school and speak to the principal immidiately. How awful for your little boy to have to go thru that kind of humiliation because his teacher is uncaring and unresponsive to the needs of the very young.

Answer 8

say something. it never should have happened. my son had an accident in first grade(wet his pants) for the same reason. i told the teacher that if he says he needs to go then he means it. i said it nicely and we had no more problems.

Answer 9

I would definitely bring it up-sounds like a brutal place if they won't let you use the bathroom and didn't help him change clothes? EWWWW!

Answer 10

I would definitely take that up with the school. That is not acceptable. Good luck.