Emotioanl, psychological affects on a child if close family 'dissapears?'?

Question

We've been close to our grandaughter "BBD" since the moment she was born. our first grandchild & the absolute light of our lives My daughter returned to work when she BBD was 12 months..We were thrilled to have her 2 days a weeks H's husband is controlling , possessive alcoholic & she co-dependent.. She moved 90 minutes away for a better position at work, We maintained our relationship w/BBD and H . BBd spent the night 3 x a month(Heaven).after 6 months of no work for P, I asked H if P was getting a job, as he does No homework or childcare) She seemed to "snap" and hasn't spoken to us or responded to phone calls emails& denied us all contact w/BBD We are worried about BBD, does she think we don't love her? We're dead? she must anxious 2 sons 16&17 R heartbroken,so r we H won't speak to her 4 siblings either. H is now completely isolated. her friends dislike P she dropped them 1by1. At his demand whoever isnt his fan is gone. What will happen to BBD psychologically, emotionally?

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for the sense of loss you are feeling right now.Usually a man like that will continually break a womans self-confidence to the point she is totally dependent on him. Most likely H suffers from severe depression and low self-esteem. BBD is unfortunately caught in the middle, and probably doesn't understand yet. As she gets older she may become angry with her mom for not standing up for herself. Her father will no doubt try to control her in much the same manner as her mother. She too will probably suffer from low self-esteem. In her teens she may turn rebellious which could lead to things like teen pregnancy, drug- use, and other acting out. More times then not daughters will end up with a man much like their father. And the cycle of abuse continues. Remember too that there are exceptions to the rule, and that in some children it has the opposite effect and motivates them to not repeat the mistakes of their parents. I sincerely hope that one day your daughter will be able to break free of such a sick relationship, realizing the effects it will have on an innocent little girl and not wanting that future for her.

I think the best thing you can do, and no doubt it will be painful and a constant reminder of the situation, is to keep reaching out to your daughter. Let her know you love her no matter what and that your always there. Perhaps an intervention of some sort is in order. You may even want to seek the counsel of a therapist and search out different methods of reaching out to H and BBD. There is a grandparents visitation law in which you could be granted court ordered visitation 1 weekend per month, though that may fan the fires. Plus it is extremely difficult to enforce. Sometimes woman in these relationships get so lost they can't see a way out. Sometimes they are so ashamed and embarassed they are more then willing to just push them away per their abusive mates request. I am so very sorry for your family and I truly hope that things work out for the best.

Answer 2

I sounds like the child is depressed. the sooner he gets professional help, the better he will cope with his lose. Otherwise he may have difficulty trusting anyone.

I was married to a man who was abandoned by his mother. I paid for her mistake. He was a very abusive man.