We're thinking about having children, but his parents are divorced so how do you explain who's who to a child?

Question

My parents are still together and they will be Grandma and Granpa, but his parents are both divorced and re-married. How do you exlpain such things to a child?

Answer 1

you dont' have to...my moms parents are divorced and both remarried...I have 3 sets of Grandmas and pas..


Your child will be blessed to have that many people in their life that love them.

When the child is old enough they will understand. But when they are young, no worries.

Answer 2

Well the simplest way to do it would be to call everyone grandma and grandpa. But another way to do it would be to call his biological parents grandma and grandpa and calling their spouses grandma (name) and grandpa (name) this way it distinguishes the difference. So for example if your husbands biological parents a Tom and Lisa, they would be called grandpa and grandma. Now if Tom marries Mona, and Lisa marries Jerry, then your child should call them Grandma Mona and Grandpa Jerry. This way there is a distinction and at the same time there is the same level of respect that both the new spouses get.

Keep in mind eventually, both your child and each grandparent will end up picking suitable names for each other, things such as nana and so on.

Although, it's also up your husband as well, if your husband prefers that your child call them by their first names that's fine I suppose, but I believe that grandma or grandpa before saying their name is respectful, and would make them feel more included within the family.

Answer 3

I am in a similar situation. My parents are married still, but my husband's side is another story.

His mom and dad divorced when he was 3, his mom remarried and were married until he was grown. Now his mother has remarried a third time. And both the real dad and step-dad have remarried, my husband is still in close contact with his step-dad, since he was there for (almost) every important moment of his childhood.

So my daughter (age 4) has a Nanny and Poppy (my parents) a nana and peepaw (his mom and her new husband) a grammy and grampy (his dad and his wife), a paw-paw and mee-mee (his step dad and his wife) a grandma D (husband's grandmother) and a granny (my grandmother).

We have never actually explained to her how they are all her grandparents, but she has never asked either. So far there has been no confusion, and she is very happy with her 6 grandmothers and four grandfathers, especially on birthdays and christmas!!

Answer 4

My parents are divorced as well, my kids have Grandpa and Grandma (my husband's parents), they call my dad Grandpa D__ and my step-mom they call by her first name (long story), and then they call my mom and step-dad Nana and Grandpa J___. You know, that is just how it has always been, I don't think that we have ever had a conversation about why they have three sets of grandparents. My eldest is eight years and my youngest is eight months, I suppose someday if they ask about it I would just put it in the simplest and honest terms that I thought they would be able to understand. There is no use lying or trying to make things "pretty" about it, eventually they will know what divorce is either from hearing a conversation or one of their friends is bound to have divorced parents. There is no need to go into ugly details either (if there are any), like I said before simple and honest is they way to go, when they ask. Best of luck.

Answer 5

They can call them grandma and grandpa as well. Kids aren't confused about that kind of stuff. In this day and age, most kids know numerous people who have been divorced. In fact, my kids don't know a single other child that has both parents at home. That's just sad. I've had to explain to them why all their friends and cousins have to go to Dad's on the weekend. It's not hard to explain. Kids are like sponges. You tell them something once and they remember it forever.

Answer 6

Lisen my daughter has 4 grandmas and 1 grandpa. The thing is that my parnets divorced when I was a baby and my dad got re-married and divorced again. Now my mom, my step-mom, boyfriends mom and my dads new girlfriend are know as grandma or granny. so dont think that its a bad thing to have more then just2 of each, hey just think more help and babysiters!! Just go for it if you want a baby. Think about what to call grandparnet later. Just think grandma, granny and grandpa, papa so on and so on!

Answer 7

My husbands parents are still married they are grandma and grandpa....my mom and dad have been divorced for almost 20 years now and my mom is remarried to a great guy. He has taken on the role of grandpa and that is what they call him...and would call my dad grandpa too if he were in our lives. As to distinguish they usually refer to them as " grandma ____ and grandpa ___" inserting first names. Children are able to understand a little better than what most people give them credit for. My oldest, who is 6 1/2, understands that her grandpa is not my real dad...he is my step dad. Divorce is the norm now so it is sadly the norm for children and most will understand.

Answer 8

Oh, it's not hard! My parents are divorced. I call my dad's wife's parents Grandpa Bob and Grandma Evelyn. Trust me-- Your children won't mind a bit! More presents!! :-) My children will have 4 sets of grandparents. His mom (who we hope will end up getting married soon), His dad and wife, my mom, and my dad and his wife. This kid will never want for anything, lol. Children have an amazing capacity to love grandparents. They'll understand the technicalities when they're older, but for now, they'll just be happy to have so many people who love them.

Answer 9

We have close family friends (on to the 5th generation) that are also called Grandma and Grandpa. This question reminded me on a story about my mom. She had to do a family tree for Grade 1. Well, her tree had 4 sets of Grandparents none of them with the same last name as her as her father's mother was widowed and remarried. The poor teacher didn't know what to think, but Mom knew who all these Grandparents were. Just think of all the people for your child to love.

Answer 10

This is exactly how my husband and my family are -
My parents are married, his are divorce and remarried. Our daughter right now is only 18 months old, but we call my parents (I'm using assumed names here) Grandpa and Grandma Smith , his mom and step dad are Grandpa and Grandma Doe and his dad and step mom are Grandpa and Grandma Jones. When my daughter gets older, we'll tell her that my husband's mommy and daddy got a divorce and remarried Grandpa Doe and Grandma Jones ect... It'll all work out! Good luck to you and God bless. Congrats on your decision to have a new little baby!