What are the emotional & psychological affects to a 2 1/2 year old girl if her close family "dissapears?"

Question

We've been close to our grandaughter "BBD" since the moment she was born. our first grandchild & the absolute light of our lives My daughter returned to work when she BBD was 12 months..We were thrilled to have her 2 days a weeks H's husband is controlling , possessive alcoholic & she co-dependent.. She moved 90 minutes away for a better position at work, We maintained our relationship w/BBD and H . BBd spent the night 3 x a month(Heaven).after 6 months of no work for P, I asked H if P was getting a job, as he does No homework or childcare) She seemed to "snap" and hasn't spoken to us or responded to phone calls emails& denied us all contact w/BBD We are worried about BBD, does she think we don't love her? We're dead? she must anxious 2 sons 16&17 R heartbroken,so r we H won't speak to her 4 siblings either. H is now completely isolated. her friends dislike P she dropped them 1by1. At his demand whoever isnt his fan is gone. What will happen to BBD psychologically, emotionally?

Answer 1

I have been the primary care-giver / source of stability for our only (2 1/2 year old) granddaughter since the day she was born, so I completely understand how you feel.

First of all, I'm no lawyer, but I DO know that there are laws in most states to protect grandparent's rights. If "H" won't respond to you, CONTACT A LAWYER to see about enforcing your legal rights as her grandparents. Assuming your story is true, your grandchild IS very likely to experience emotional trauma due to the situation...especially if you were her main source of stability. My daughter has given me many reasons to contact Children's services since her daughter was born, but since she has been more than willing to leave her daughter with us most of the time, it hasn't been necessary. However, if she ever pulled the stunt your daughter is pulling, you better BELIEVE I'd contact them, because that baby's safety / well-being has GOT to come first! It's not a problem to "let go" if the child is in a safe, loving home with responsible parents, but that is obviously not the situation in your granddaughter's case - especially if she's daily exposed to a controlling alcoholic! That is a good case for child endangerment in and of itself! You should also keep in mind that your daughter is also obviously dealing with a lot of stress and she probably feels isolated / judged. I know you were just asking a question, but it's obviously a very sore spot with her. The fact that she broke all contact says a lot - she knows deep in her heart that her husband is NOT the husband and father he should be. (Girls get pretty defensive when they know deep down that "momma knows what she's talking about" and pride sets in. Chances are, you struck a nerve.) She and her husband need to get help, for the baby's sake. Their situation is not a lost cause, they just need to make some good choices and get him help for his alcohol addiction. You can be as supportive as possible where that is concerned.

Answer 2

Sounds like a typical case of disfunction. Try not to be so judgemental of H because the more you pressure H to do the right thing the more they are going to feel unaccepted by you and the distance will just keep growing. You should be more worried about your daughter than the 2 year old. Seems like you are looking for a reason that she won't be able to deny so you can get this grandbaby back in your life. Seems selfish and amoral you should support your daughter and bring her back into the fold not pressure her on her bad choices and her unacceptable pleasures. Eventually she will come around and mold herself into something positive if you give her the route to. If you can get her into a positive relationship and give up on griping about the guy then she'll come around more often. Give her support and loving interaction and the rest will fall into place. Don't try to force it or anything and leave the baby and it's mental stability out of it because at this point it's hardly an issue.

Answer 3

Dressing up the boy as a princess won't make him gay, or a serial killer, or depressed as he gets older. He could be embarrassed by using it yet who does not have any embarrassment from their formative years? If this replaced into any incorrect way around and a woman had to gown up in as a prince no person might say something. Is dressing up as a princess his concept or yours? It sounds love it somewhat is yours. My advice might purely ask him what he needs or take him down the gown isle and permit him %. a "boy" gown.

Answer 4

I got a two year old step daughter .(she is now grown"_) but they are very smart at this age..and especially if they were raised around a lot of doting adults..they are used to all that attention and can be quite mature...so be very careful as you could do them a lot of damage..they know a lot of stuff already..don't ruin their life emotionally..keep them as stable emotionally as possible..please?