Mother-in-law Dress?

Question

I am getting married next May & my bridal party colors are dark teal (for my maid/matron of honor) & light teal (for my maids). My mother is most likely wearing a plum color. My Fiance's mother said to me "So, I should be looking at blues/greens for my dress for the wedding?" My response was..."Its completely up to you. You may wear whatever color you are comfortable in." In reality, I would prefer that she not wear a color that is similar to that of the bridal party. Is this the norm? How do I confront this?

Answer 1

Per wedding ettiquette, her dress should be a color that complements your mothers. So, if your mother is wearing a plum/purple, I can understand the blue, perhaps a navy blue, or a brown/champagne color would work. I do agree that her dress should not be in the same color family as your moh and bridesmaids. You may want to go shopping with her for the dress and suggesting a color that does not match your moh/bridesmaids dress, but complements your mothers. Good Luck!

Answer 2

There is no "norm." Traditionally, the mother of the bride would wear a dress that complimented the bridal party; in your case, a light blue or green, for example. The mother of the groom would then wear a dress that would compliment the mother of the bride. Nowadays, they wear whatever they want. Since your mother's dress doesn't compliment or match the bridesmaid's dresses, the "traditional" way already won't happen.

I do understand your preference for the mother of the groom to not wear teal. But you also don't want her to wear blue or green. And I don't think you'd like it if she wore purple like your mother. Black would be too somber, and red might look inappropriate. So really, she's not left with many colors to choose from.

But if your preference was for her to not wear teal, blue, or green, you should have stated this. But instead you told her to get whatever she wants, and that's what you're going to have to stick with.

Answer 3

I would simply call her up and ask her politely to avoid blues and greens. When I got married, both of the mothers came to me and asked if their dresses were appropriate. I didn't ask them to do this. I think that when you are part of a wedding, dressing according to the theme is expected. I would not be offended if a bride asked me to avoid or choose certain colors. I would do it sooner rather than later, though, because you want to catch her before she already has something chosen. Also, I think it's best when both sets of parents dress similarly. For example, you don't want one mother in a simple cotton dress and the other in an evening gown or one father in a tux and the other in a suit. I would let them know how they should dress so that they look matched. But, as I said, do it now. You don't want anyone to have to return anything, especially if they are having it altered in some way.

Answer 4

I am so glad that I have a mother-in-law who knows exactly how picky I am and every dress she has an interest in she asks me if its' ok to wear. lol! So at least she knows that your opinion does matter because did ask you. Tell her what your mom is going to be wearing and that she is staying away from the blues and greens and that maybe she should try to match your mother. My colors are pink and brown. All the girls are going to be in pink so my mom and his mom are going to fo for some type of brown or cream colored dress. But my MIL has also been talking to my mom about her dress and my mom has given her opinion too. So maybe you could have your mom call her up and ask if she wants to go shopping with her or you can go with both of them. But just tell her honestly. I think she would understand. I mean if she asked once I think she may really want your opinion. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Someday when she's around, just mention to her about one of the bridesmaid dresses..then say, "Oh, I wanted to mention that to you, the girls are wearing teal which is a bluish-green color, if you buy a green or blue dress you'll just blend in with the wedding party. I think you should buy yourself a mother-in-law dress that will stand out from the crowd."
LOL
Good luck with this dear! So hard to deal with, but now is the time.

Answer 6

Well, you don't "confront" it because you responded to her incorrectly! Sheesh! Just talk to her again, and mention that you would not want her in a teal colour. There is nothing wrong with her going with the blues/greens shades, though. It's your mom who might look out of place in the plum dress. If all else fails, have them wear neutrals.

Answer 7

Ask her to compliment what your mother is wearing. Either in a lighter or darker shade, or a similar tone. If you know what colors will be in your flowers have her choose a color from that. Navy blue would go well, or a dark emerald green. Look for ideas and show them to her. Let her know how great she'd look in whatever it is you find, that way she won't think you don't like her ideas.

Answer 8

maybe go shoppin with her and divert her away from those colors, or say nicely that after you have thought about it a little more that you think she would stand out more if she went with another color, I mean she is a mom and thats important and you don't want her to blend right? stuff along that line and you should be ok...

Sometimes moms match, but I see a lot of people just wear colors that coordinate wiht the decor in general, so they don't clash....but they don't match either, so its completely fine either way you wish!

I just told my m-i-l no black or white cuz my bridal party is wearing black, but with her bein a mom, it would look like shes mourning me marryin her son, nad I wanna be the only one in white!

Answer 9

maybe just let her know that thoes are the colors the bridal party will be wearing and you want her to be distiguisable from them. maybe suggest a color to her. tell her a cream or sand color would work best with you color scheme. she also shouldnt clash with your moms dress either. they should complement eachother. my mom wore a sand colored dress to my wedding and my mother in law wore purple. it did not look good together at all considering my colors were hunter green and white. my moms dress looked good, but hers just completely clashed with the colors i had.

just tell her you want her to stand out and not blend in with the bridal party.

Answer 10

Just tell her you had been thinking about it and have changed your mind and now would prefer her to look for a (whatever) color dress. Since she was polite enough to ask in the first place what color she should get I doubt she will take offense to your request.

Good luck!