How do I stop being jealous of his sister!!!?

Question

This sounds so immature, but I can't seem to stop feeling jealous of my husbands sister! Before we were married she lived in another state and they talked about once or twice a week. I knew they were close and of course I thought that was wonderful! Now though she moved back, and she and him must talk 3 or 4 times a day! He must spend at least 2 or 3 hours with her over at her house a day! Of course he always wants me to come to which is nice, but sometimes I need to do things around our place. Mostly I enjoy my husbands company more than anything, and now I feel that he has split his time between us, and I can't help but be jealous about his new best friend! I tell myself it could be worse, that at least best friend is his sister, but I still find myself irritated when she calls at 10 or 11 at night wanting him to come over and hang out with her- (she has a family too, so I don't think it is a matter of her being lonely) I

Answer 1

Is your husband, by chance, from West Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, or Mississippi? If so, that would explain a lot.

I guess it's also possible that he's from Germany.

Answer 2

Oh, I'm engaged! How much I have to look forward to! haha Luckily, my fiance doesn't actually like his sister. haha

But yeah..I mean, I am the same way. I'm not unreasonable at all about those types of things...he can talk to whoever he wants or anything..but it's like, where do you draw the line?

Well the most obvious answer would be to talk to him I suppose. You don't HAVE to mention his sister, but you could just tell him that you're having a difficult time because you aren't spending as much ALONE time together.

But I agree--nobody wants to spend THAT much time w/ the other person's family. Ask him how he'd feel if the situation were reversed.

But pretty soon, it's going to get old. It's just stressful now because she JUST moved back. Give it some time, and it'll probably calm down some!

Answer 3

Hi Sweetpea, I too have this situation to deal with, ditto on everything you said, but change to brother-in-law! It isn't a matter of jealousy really, it is a matter of hurt feelings. You need to sit down and discuss it. Let your husband know how you feel about the whole thing and that he is leaving you alone way too much, that it is hurting your marriage. Hopefully, your husband will understand your point of view. He will have to be the one to limit the contact with his sister and be firm about it. Feel free to e-mail me if you like Good luck

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Girl, I was in this boat!
Your husband needs to set boundaries to "talking" and "hanging" out with his sister. Have you talked to him about how you feel? He may not understand because he has been extremely close to his sister his whole life, so he may get defensive. But you need to tell him that talking and hanging out with his sister is taking a tole on your realtionship and that he needs to limit his time. Tell him you feel that she is your better friend and that she needs to be mature about it, and let you two have a marriage.
I was extrememly jealous too! And I had to tell my husband that there are limits, he faught me, but in the end we worked things out! Things are SOO much better now, and I love his family more because of setting the boundaries.
Dont get jealous, but enforce the rule.

Answer 6

If I were you, I'd sit down and ask sister what the heck her problem was. If she has a family of her own, she doesn't need your husband to come running over to her place in the middle of the night.
It doesn't sound right to me.

Answer 7

Okay well im 18 and im engaged...and u made me think twice about what u said but it wont happen to me hes an only child hehe

BACK TO U...u shudnt b jealous ..i mean isnt it great he has strong family morals n connections and cmoon after all she is HIS SISTER not a normal bestfreind ...i agree i would b soo jealous if she was just a bestfreind but sister is great...mayb u just need to love her a bit more n b proud of him for his family ties even more ...i ENCOURAGE IT HEHE gudluck!!!

Answer 8

Are you completely sure she is his sister, If you are i think you have enough reasons to be jealous, I guess you have to talk to him and meet half way. My opinion is that this kind of problem could grow to be a monster that could eventually end the relation.

Answer 9

Next time she rings tell her no he can't come over that you were on your way to bed and what does she expect of him at this late hour? tell them both that he is your husband and you are finding all this time they spend together very irritating and unnatural tell your husband to grow up and remember his responsibility to you his wife. Good luck.

Answer 10

He needs to be reminded that he is a married man and 2 to 3 hours everyday is just ridiculous. He needs to pull back on that and start working on his relationship with his wife...

Answer 11

So you want him to limit contact with his blood relative? Someone who has been around all of his life? Maybe valueing family isnt that important. If my GF told me to not hang out with my sister. It kick her to the curb.