am i doing the right thing?

Question

my mum and dad died in a car crash when i was 15 and my sister was 12, and last year my aunty died from cancer, and i said my sister could live with me and my bf! now im 18 and she 15 and shes gone and gotten herself pregnant, and i said that if she wanted to keep the baby id say it was mine cos shes not showing yet and i had a baby at 15 and i no how hard it is, so all i want to no is am i donig the wright thing by saying that ill bring up her baby? cos i no i can clothe it and feed it with my design work and my bfs lawyer wadges!

sory about spetting my heads not here @the moment!
also she cant look after the baby cos shes doing her gcses and has better grades to come out of them than i did!

also the dads not excactaly a good role moddel, and she dont want him near her baby!

Answer 1

if you take on full responsibility with this new baby your sister will not feel the true hardship of having a baby this might cause her to make the same mistake . You should help her out as much as you can, but this is not your baby. This is her baby. Saying it is yours and raising it does not help anything. It actually handicaps your sister into not taking responsibility. When the baby needs midnight feedings, changing ,etc that needs to be your sister doing it. Tough love is not easy, but is necessary for successful people.

Answer 2

Such a lot has happened in your life and you are still only 18 years old. You want to do the best for your sister but I think you will be making a big mistake if you take the baby as your own. When your sister goes into hospital to have the baby, the authorities will step in. She is under age and you aren't much older, they won't try to take the baby away from her but they will give her help in deciding whether to keep it or have it adopted. Think about giving up your freedom for the next 16 years. Your child needs you right now, and you should enjoy his/her company without the pressure of another baby. Where is the person who got your sister pregnant? He will be in trouble with the authorities, but he should be made to face up to his responsibilities. You have a very kind heart and want to help your sister, but I think you should seek guidance from someone such as a social worker. They can give you a list of all the options and maybe they can offer more help than you thought was available.

Answer 3

that's something only you and your sister and boyfriend can decide but you'd have to watch out for legal matters and do it properly by either getting custody or parental rights and responsibilities its not as easy as just saying
as when it comes to registering you can't just put your name on as you'll need the documents from the hospital etc
you could go through the proper channels or you could let your sister keep the baby herself and just be a very supportive sister to her and help bring up the baby and let her go back to school etc then its legal and uncomplicated
whatever you's decide think hard and good luck this is for life what if your sister changed her mind in a few years when your attached if not done legally you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Answer 4

let her bring the baby up, other wise she will never know how hard havin a baby is, an if you bring her child up whos to say she wouldnt do it again an think you will bring it up again, i think you need to sit down an talk to her, tell her you understand as you have been there yourslef let her know you will be ther for her no matter what. you can still be a good sister an help her even if you dont take the baby of her..good luck

Answer 5

Is it really a good idea to have this baby at all..Shes not ready yet and to pass it off as yours would be a legal nightmare and a pandoras box as the child reached adulthood. She needs to speak to a Doctor or counsellor and make up her own mind what she wants...you arnt helping by making decisions for her..youll regret it.

Answer 6

I don't understand why you can't help her financially and give her support and she can't bring it up on her own. If she's gotten pregnant she should at least attempt to shoulder some of the responsibility. There is always the choice of adoption but if you can help her through it she can bring the child up as her own.

Answer 7

If she thinks she's apparently responsible enough to have sex, which comes with knowing the possibility of pregnancy...then she should be responsible enough to take care of the baby. If not keeping it herself, then give it up for adoption. There are thousands of people who would love a baby. I would say no to raising the baby as your own. If she's going to act as if she responsible enough for sex, then she needs to deal with the consequences of her actions. For every action, there's a reaction. Every action, has a consequence. People now a days are too quick to not deal with, or take away someones consequence for their actions...stop it. Be responsible for your own actions and deal with those consequences whatever they may be. In her case, its a baby...so SHE has to deal with that. Whether it be getting FINANCIAL help from you, or giving it up for adoption. Its her consequence, let her deal with it!!!

Answer 8

If money is not a problem, then yes, keep the child in the family. But don't make a charade of it - let the child know from day one who his real mother is. It will avoid a host of future problems.

Answer 9

What like eastenders with kat slater without the uncle?

my goodness, you need to be honest for day one with a child. I think your not doing the right thing. If she wants to keep it, then should should keep it when it's born.

I'm not saying have it killed by a doctor but it is her child and it deserves to know that.

Answer 10

Think there would be loads of problems for all of you in the future ! It's not about the money ,it will make you all miserable in the long runThe poor child would probably grow up very confused.Don't think you've thought it all through.Good luck.