my boyfriend does absolutley nothing around the house. yeah he works all day and i stay home and mind our daughter. he gives me £30 a week to live in my house.
every month when the phone/tv/internet bill comes (its just a 1 off bill, the only bill he pays because i pay the rest) he doesn't want to pay it or all of it because i use the phone/internet/tv aswell he thinks that i should pay some!
he doesnt drive
he has a bank account in his mums name
and he never has money left come monday and is scavving from me!!
am i wrong to nag at him??
i am at my whits end with him completely!!
i want us to be a family but he doesn't think that he is wrong.
please help!!!
2007-03-07 00:47:55 · 26 answers · asked by xloux 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he is 23 next month and is sooo immature for his age!
we cant sit an talk things through cos he just go's to bed:-/
he's so irritating
2007-03-07 00:58:07 · update #1
he wont open his own bank account because he cant be bothered.he's like why fix something that's not broke.lol his mums money doesn't go in the bank, just his wages.it was a last minute thing at wokr cos they needed account num etc for his wages
2007-03-07 01:00:15 · update #2
conservam..... i am not looking for sympathy at all. i do not have low self asteem
i am going to show him these answers as he doen't believe that what he does is wrong
2007-03-07 01:08:28 · update #3
Sweetie, you and your daughter deserve so much better . So I take it you pay for all of your daughters things? He`s not exactly a good role model for her, at least she has you.
Personally I`d get rid. He obviously isn`t taking life with you seriously otherwise he`d open up his own bank account and start taking responsibility for himself, you and your daughter by sharing his money with you and living like a family.
It sounds as though he`s a selfish bloke who doesn`t want that commitment. What normal 23 year old bloke would be happy to use his mum`s bank account forever?
Good luck hunni.
2007-03-07 03:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by SarahLee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can he not pay the bills, you don't earn money if you stay at home all day.
It seems to me that he provides the money whilst you run the house. In my opinion, he shouldn't do anything in the house after working all day. I think he should help out with your daughter so they have chance to bond but cleaning should be your responsibility. That's what a housewife does isn't it?
If he's going straight to bed, he must be tired and it sounds as though he is bored with his life.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's perfect. He should definitely make some changes like living to a careful budget and having his own bank account.
I think you both need to make changes. Try to spice up your lives a little.
Finally, I wouldn't nag because it will only push him even further away from you. Show some appreciation, he works all day for you.
2007-03-07 03:08:19 · answer #2 · answered by LauraMarie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong to nag at him. He needs to start pulling his weight with jobs around the home and contributing more. If he thinks £30 if enough to cover rent and bills he's living in cloud cuckoo land. You need to let him know the exact cost of running a home. If that fails maybe you should cut back on things like feeding him, doing his laundry and clearing up after him.
2007-03-07 01:17:10 · answer #3 · answered by tb41uk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in your situation my man goes to work and i stay at home but i must admit he is not on a great deal of money but what he does get he pays out on the bills he also bought me a BMW and he pays for that each month as well i think that your man is tight towards you if he wants you to stay at home and mind your little girl then he will have to pay for that. You should ask him to help you out more financially. Tell him you want more out of life you want nights out holidays you want to treat yourself so there fore he lives in that house to and hes has got to pay more towards the running of the home. What you should do is write down exactly how much your bills etc.. and ask him for half.You have to be strong and stand your ground with him. £30 is not much really is it considering you pay everything. R Good Luck x
2007-03-07 01:09:30 · answer #4 · answered by lou. c. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A partnership that lasts is based on sharing, the good as well as the bad.
You really need to sort out your joint finances. This doesn't mean putting all of your money into a joint account but it does mean having a fair and equitable means of settling the joint household bills.
Draw up a budget showing the monthly costs of all the household billls then sit down with your partner and agree what your individual contributions are to be.
If he won't do this then you need to give him and ultimatum, grow up or move out.
This may sound harsh but it will save you a lot of grief and debt further down the line.
good luck.
2007-03-07 04:05:56 · answer #5 · answered by CeeVee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a wimp he is! I pay the full rent for me and my lass, I pay all the bills, I take her for a meal at least once a week, I pay for all drinks, her car, her clothes, give her spending money (she can't work here as she's not a resident hence my giving her so much cash). I've started a secret savings account for her that she'll get on her birthday to blow, I work my *** off to do this, but she's worth it! I'm ashamed of your bf, he's letting the side down!
2007-03-07 00:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if you wanted a lodger then you would get one and they pay proper rent and towards the bills. Stop feeding him because i can remember how much a bloke can eat and £30 wouldnt cover it tell him its your way or the high way you are not his mother and as such dont have to look after him he should be looking after you and your daughter now , if he still says no then kick him to the kerb if you start now it will always happen (doormats come to mind)
2007-03-07 00:59:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so you are shacking up and playing house with a deadbeat and what do you expect anyone on here to say? Cut him some slack? Marry him and then really make your life miserable? Is your self esteem really that terribly low? You know what you need to do. Stand up, be strong and just do it. Kick him out and let him run home to his "mummy" and begin to take responsibility for the guys you choose to share your life with.
2007-03-07 01:05:19 · answer #8 · answered by conservamommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a job and don't let him get any of the money and put your kid in a day care and you pay the bills and don't let him use any thing till he can help pay he should pay cause my sister is the same way she stays at home with her kids and her man pays the bills to and she helps out to so he should help you pay the bills if not you shouldn't be with him girl love Brittany
aka
punkgirl for life
2007-03-07 00:59:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went out with someone he used to give me 35 pounds and week and never pay anything and do anything around the house and if i had my time again and knew what i knew now i would not of bovered with the selfish git and have found someone better or even been alone till someone better came along, you are worth more and he should appreciate and treat you, dont, be his mummy its what he is used to. he wont change either accept it,its the way hes been brought up, you change and wait for someone more deserving of you. you are precious. believe it
2007-03-07 01:07:31 · answer #10 · answered by denny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋