what would you guys think of this??

Question

if a guy met a girl - claimed he'd fallen in love with her - but they'd been having some problems to which he'd fly off the handle quite easily and unexplainably - but she stuck with him because she loved him and believed he loved her. But then after over a month he claimed the reason why he'd been so snappy is because he had two kids from a previous relationship and he'd been feeling guilty for lying to her about them but had felt that she wouldnt have been interested in getting to know him if she'd had know he had baggage. I guess what Im trying to ask is - can anyone understand why he did this - and what she should do?
Cheers everyone!
xx

Can I just point out she DID ask him if he had kids and he said no.

Answer 1

My bf who I live with, told me about his kids before we started getting serious. Your man should have told you before you guys started getting serious. It's not a womans job to go questions stuff like that. Yeah we ask questions but we don't get to personal. Especially just come out and ask someone if they have kids. I have never asked that before in my life. But if you love him you should be able to accept the kids. Kids are great. Don't let them ruin your relationship with him.

Answer 2

Sometimes being on your own can not only be lonely but frightening. It seems this is the case with your fella. I would say that he didn't intentionally lie to you to deceive you but because as he says he has two children and he liked you but was afraid that you wouldn't be interested in him because he had two children.
I think that if you care for this man and think you could or would like to make a go of it with him then you need to sit down with him and tell him that you are upset because he wasn't up front with you concerning his kids but you are prepared to give your relationship a chance.
But you must realise that if you have a relationship with him then there will be four of you in the relationship not just the two of you.
Can you cope with being around and sharing him with his two children. You seriously need to think long and hard if that is what you want, it won't be easy but you can make it work if you really want to.
if you feel that you can't cope with sharing him and his time with his two children then be honest with him and let him down gently.
Always remember that communication and honesty is the key to a successful relationship.
All the best,
Beans.

Answer 3

the only explaination i can think of is that he wasnt planning to get serious with you..he didnt expect to go to the next level and obviously you charmed him off his feet. I can say dont be too hard on him but i can also say that if he can lie about something like that what else is he hiding..!just dont jump and go all crazy on him, just tell him that you will forgive him(if you really do) but will not tolerate lies. Also ask him if he has other skeletons that you should know about. He will then get a chance to clear the table, should anything come out in the future that affects you then you must call it quits..

Answer 4

He should have told the truth, even if what he said was true and she would not have wanted anything to do with him that is her choice and her right to know this information. It may or may not make any difference to her about the two children but his dishonesty obviously does matter and now the relationship is based on lies. She needs to decide if his having 2 children matters to her (it wouldn't me) and then deal with the deceit which in my opinion is more important. If she feels comfortable continuing the relationship she should make it clear to him to tell her the full truth instead of saying something that he thinks she wants to hear?????

Answer 5

He was just trying to protect the relationship - no one wants their past to get in the way of their present and future happiness.

If she can forgive him for keeping the truth from her then their is no reason why it should effect anything. (As long as it is the lying and not the children that is the issue. If the previous children are a problem for her, then no one can make the decision of what to do next but her.)

Lx

Answer 6

WOW. He did that because he is a jerk and totally preyed on this girl. Its very easy what she should do. She should leave his Loser *** the first chance she gets... Like yesterday. This guy obviously cares nothing for this girls feelings or he wouldn't be lying about two very important things like his kids. I wouldn't be surprised if this girl is very young and very lonely. Men will say just about anything to a girl just to get the "draws". As a general rule I think it takes about a year to truly know if you love someone. Just in my humble opinion.

Answer 7

Excuses excuses, sounds like he may be hanging on until he finds someone else or already has a few irons in fire! If he loves you he wouldnt be snapping at such an early stage in the relationship.

Answer 8

He has no excuse for his dishonesty. If she didn't find a good reason to leave him when he would fly off the handle at her for "quite easily and inexplicably" then now is a good time. She deserves better.

Answer 9

I find this very strange, is he ashamed off his children or thinks he has a better chance at a relationship if they are not mentioned.

I would steer well clear of somebody who can liar like this with no morals, if he can twist the truth about his children could you trust him with other aspects off his life.

Answer 10

I think you should ask yourself can i trust this guy? why didnt he tell you he had kids at start of relationship,but decide to tell you now was he frightened you would find out?You have to seriously think can i trust this guy if not get shut before it becomes serious.