your spouses aunt or uncle knowing that a long time ago, this person molested his/her sibling and cousins? I don't think so, but this for some unknown reason to me, has become a bone of contention between me and my spouse.
2007-03-07 00:17:11 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No.
I am a big believer in forgiving and forgetting, but I cannot apply this to sexual abuse. Perhaps if the aunt or uncle had committed this act only once, there could be a question of whether he/she really did do it, or that the allegation was taken out of context (unlikely, but I'm playing devil's advocate for a moment). But the fact it happened more than once is the nail in the coffin.
Paedophilia and sexual abuse seems to be type of mental illness, whereby those who suffer from the sick desire to abuse others are not necessarily evil, but still cannot be trusted not to obey their urges, even many years later.
In many cases like this, the family has trouble accepting that the guilty party has such as terrible character flaw, because, being related, they are completely subjective, which may explain why this has become a contentious issue between you and your partner.
Save yourself the worry and the chance of something bad happening by never allowing this person to be around your toddler unsupervised.
And ask your spouse, if you knew a family pet had once attacked someone, would you let your child be alone with it?
2007-03-07 00:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by lazer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not. Molesters don't stop molesting they just get smarter about being caught. My grand was molested by the baby sitters husband at 19 months. Practically the first sentence she could put together was, "Jim bites my pee pee." Turns out that sick SOB had molested a lot of little girls including his own. Now, just in the last week, my 70 year old Bil was sentenced for raping little girls from the Brownie Scout troop his wife was helping with. I never had a clue he was that way but he'd been at it all his life too. My sister could never have kids so she did day care and Foster care to have kids around. She made a list of all the kids they had in their home, and he showed her which ones he'd done and which ones he hadn't and believe me, it was most of them. He had daughters from his previous marriage and he has admitted messing with them and that was why that wife divorced him. They just don't stop. Your husband better get real or he'll be paying for some very expensive psychological treatment for your children. Studies show that molesting a child under the age of 12 causes permanent changes in brain chemistry as they develop. I'm wondering if he was messed with and just can't deal with it which would happen if he had to deal with the perpetrators. You stick to your guns, Sweetie. Don't let your children be the next generation these people get their hands on. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-03-07 00:35:53 · answer #2 · answered by moonrose777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Your job is to protect your child, and if you hurt someone's feelings by protecting them, so be it. Let's say something DID happen, how important to you would that person's feelings be then?
I do believe that people can change, and that sometimes what a person did years ago doesn't accurately reflect on who they are today, but I am NOT willing to take that risk with my children. I don't want to feel that guilt.
We have a similar situation in our family, I think a lot of families do. And that great-unlcle is just not allowed to be around my kids unsupervised. He's fine if one of us is there, but there is no way he's getting access to my kids. And this is over something he did 35 years ago. It might have been 35 years ago, and he might be a different person today, but my cousin is ALSO still a different person today because of what he did.
2007-03-07 00:30:25 · answer #3 · answered by libra27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this person actually did molest then NO WAY do you allow any child of yours around such a person. I would put my foot down with my mate and tell him or her NO WAY! That would be the end of it too.......your spouse should feel the same way though. Strange if not.
2007-03-07 01:35:53 · answer #4 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt let my toddler arournd my spuses aunts or uncles if the molested a sibling and cuz before. I dont think thats safe and i wouldnt wanna take the risk of having ur chile molested.
2007-03-07 00:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No! Even though it was a long time ago, I wouldn't allow my child to be alone with them for a second. Better to be safe than sorry.
2007-03-07 02:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell No!
I couldn't care less if they say they are cured. I would not take that chance. EVER.
No offence,but if I understand what you are saying correctly, your spouse needs a head check. Seriously.
2007-03-07 00:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa M. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell no! I might catch a lot of crap for saying something like this, but once a perv ALWAYS a perv. I don't think people grow out of that or can be cured. Plain and simple. If someone can even do that once what is stopping them from doing it again???
2007-03-07 00:21:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
very tough question. someone very close to my family molested a teenager. i do allow my children around this person but ONLY if i or my husband is there. i watch this person very close around my children. do i think people can be rehabilitated? yes i do. but still u can never be TOO careful this day and age with your children. call me overprotective but there are very few people i trust alone with my children anyway. good luck to u and your spouse
2007-03-07 00:31:02 · answer #9 · answered by a very happily married woman 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Certainly not! It doesn't matter if they "reformed" or not. A child molester is the worst kind of human being in the world.
2007-03-07 01:01:31 · answer #10 · answered by writergal16 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋