my mother is always in my business. i am 23 years old, and with all due respect my mother is making me cuckoo. she butts in, she tells me how to raise my son, she makes rude comments, she tries to tell everyone in MY home what to do, overall i am goin nuts. what can i do? i think i am gonna need a shrink soon at the rate she is going.
2007-03-07 00:07:53 · 9 answers · asked by hunterzmomma2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is funny to me because I was JUST having the same conversation with a friend about MY mother. I know I need to clearly define the roles in the family, but it's hard when you have an out-going assertive mother. It's so bad here that when my 4-year-old son was burned badly 2 weeks ago, I didn't tell my mother because I knew she would rush in, over react and try to fix everything that didn't need fixing.
I think we need to let our moms know that they are appreciated, but being bossy and over-bearing really just pushes everyone away. I would like to remind my mom of how angry she used to get when my grandmothers would "help" around the house. Maybe it would help them see our perspective. Maybe ask her why she thinks you can't do the job on your own, something that might make her see how she makes you feel. Another tactic would be to encourage her to find a hobby or interest that might keep her occupied (like we do the kids!). The first thing I had to do was stop asking her for help when I only sort of need it, because I don't feel I can complain about her being there all the time, and then turn around and ask her for free babysitting and what not.
And if all else fails, maybe we can move JUST far enough away that they can still visit on the holidays, but not drop in and nag ;) Good luck!
2007-03-07 00:23:53 · answer #1 · answered by libra27 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her and tell her how you feel.Tell her Mom I am my own person and I need you to back off some or you and I are going to fight and you don't want to fight.Remind her that you are a parent to and that you want a chance to make your own decisions and that they won't always be what she wants.Let her know that altho you value her opinions the aren't necessarily your own.If that doesn't work then you should set up stricter boundary's with her.Don't let her come over so much.Put distance between the two of you.Than maby she will understand.Good luck I hope your Mom understands as good as my Mom did. It took allot of time patients and little spats but we were better friends after.Remember shes your Mom and loves you very much.Sometimes it's hard to see but I am shure she loves you and her grandson very much.
2007-03-07 00:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Heather T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SPEAK UP! Have a "sit down" conversation with just you and Mom and tell her how you feel. If she can't accept it, don't invite her to your home. Don't worry about hurting her feelings; she'll get over it. Just be kind and if she does come over and start her stuff, all you have to say is "remember that conversation we had?". If that doesn't work. Leave mom at your house and take your kids/hubby for a ride until she leaves. I think she'll get the hint. If you refuse to act like a child, she'll start treating you as an adult. Godloveya.
2007-03-07 00:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is obvious you haven't set boundaries with your mom. I would start reinforcing that now. You are 23 and she butts in? You have to take some responsibility for that though too not just your mom. I suggest sitting and talking with her pronto. Tell her what you dislike and that it needs to stop today. If she doesn't listen, don't be around her until she can listen to your wants and needs. It has to work both ways, not just hers. Good luck.
2007-03-07 01:38:53 · answer #4 · answered by MOM OF ONE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to you mom. Tell her that you don't appreciate it her telling you how to raise your son. What may have worked for you isn't going to necessarily work for you and your son. Children are all different. Also, tell her that she needs to stop telling people what to do while they are in your home. If she refuses to stop telling people what to do don't have her come over when you have guests. I hope this helps, and good luck.
2007-03-07 01:46:40 · answer #5 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not communicate to her like you are to everyone in the world she will never understand that she is doing anything wrong.
You need to sit her down and talk to her and let her know how you feel and tell her if you want her advice you will ask for it. Let her know.... be stern yet compassionate.
2007-03-07 01:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by harleychickfatboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cut her off for awhile
tell her you do not need it in your life and you don't like the negativity
then stop contact but 1 day a week
stay like that til she comes around and oh she will
it took my mom 8 months of once a week calls and not going over for her to realize i was not kidding
2007-03-07 00:14:02 · answer #7 · answered by elite_women_rule_the_rock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel, or learn how to put up with it. I would tell her ,it's allot easier than putting up with with the torment. Don't worry she will get over it, the need to see her grandchild will overcome her anger.
2007-03-07 00:17:50 · answer #8 · answered by Robert S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to stop running ur life and everyone elses. tell her u can handle it and to stop butting in if u dont stand ur ground she is going to keep running everyones life.
2007-03-07 00:12:02 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋