OK so i have been going out with this girl on and off for about 5 years now.. basically i took he virginity and she took mine.. it was after 6 months going out.. we have been through everything.. i love her alot and we used to be really close.. basically she went to college and when we split up for 2 months for the first time she had sex with this other guy the first night she met him while she was drunk and high.. she then made out with him the next day.. and had sex with him again and broke his comp and bought him a new one.. we got back together 2-3 weeks after this happened.. she didn't tell me and lied about the guy.. we got along very well the past 2-3 weeks.. she called me this morning and told me she felt guilty and had to tell me..i called the guy and he made fun of her for being so easy and blah blah.. basically i am really hurt by what she did to me .. i really feel like this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me..she wants to see me this weekend,what should i do
2007-03-06 20:53:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
also she lies alot.. like literally every week.. i can't believe half of the stuff she tells me.. i don't know what to do.. i feel like i can't look at her the same again.. how do i feel better or fix things?.. i appreciate the support and answers so far.. it's just how cheap she threw herself out there.. and to the guy she did it with.. it makes me ashamed of her.. especially because of how pretty she is .. and how she is throwing her respect away with her choice of friends,drugs and alcohol all the time.. she thinks as long as her grades are ok she can do whatever she wants and it is not wrong.. i don't know but thanks for the support
2007-03-06 21:14:28 · update #1
i feel like i should walk away from all of this.. there is alot i can't mention but basically my heart and how much i'm hurting without her is what is keeping me here in this storyline.. i won't feel the same about her when i see her.. but without her i feel worse.. it's like a lesser of 2 evils than picking what is best.. i just can't get over how much i wish this had never happened..
2007-03-06 21:18:37 · update #2
by broken up.. "she needed time to decide about us" .. maybe i'm just jealous because while i'm sitting at home hurting over a girl i love.. she is out not even considering me into her choices..the guy used her and it makes me sick how classless this was.. she is better than this..
2007-03-06 21:22:05 · update #3
well let me tell ya something about this situation. You do not have a right to be upset with her when you both were broke up at the time that she had intercourse with this other guy..
you can not control issues when your not involved and you can not expect her to be loyal to you when you were not together.
Believe her when she tells you that she feels guilty about this other guy and what happened. if she didn't feel bad about it, she wouldn't of opened up to you and told you the truth. Respect that fact that she did tell you the truth, that means that she is confident in telling you and you should appreciate that fact. especially if you love her. love her, forgive her even though you were broke up at the time. and try to understand why she made that decision. and realize that we all make mistakes. but when we are able to understand those mistakes and be forgiven for the hurt it caused, that will bring you two closer.. putting up a barrier now towards her will only make you lose her.
2007-03-06 21:02:09 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well heres the thing. Either you can let it go or you cant. If you cant get over it then move on.....but you can always realize that you did break up and you werent together...so she did nothing wrong with the guy.....she did commit a lie by omitting the fact...however she did come out without you finding out about it first......so the question really is what do you want....do you want to forgive her let it go and move on or do you want to give her up......cuz you cant continue a relationship with someone if you cant get over a thing like that.....because if you cant let it go it will always keep comming up....I had a sort of similar situation with my significant other......i was sorta sleeping with this guy right before we started dating.....well i broke it off with him....but we were roommates(yea i know dumb idea) well i started dating my bf but i didnt tell him about it cuz i wasnt sure if it really was his business to know...i mean we werent dating when it happened.....and i thought it would make it uncomfortable for him because i was still roommates with the guy(in a house of like 7 roommates) well after a couple weeks of dating my conscious started eating at me ....and i finally broke down crying and told him about it......at first he didnt understand and thought i had cheated on him while he was away(for work) and was really upset....then i explained it....and he calmed down about it.....and hes like im not going to break up with you over it because you told me first and i didnt have to find out about it from someone else.....2 it was before you and me.....and then 3 he asked if there was a way to change the roommate situation because it was awkward.......so i did it.....he forgave me for not telling him right away about it.....and let it go.......and weve been together for about a year since and never have had a problem with anything else like that again.........so really the situation all depends on whether or not you feel you can let it go and you can continue being with her. Something you should remember you were NOT together......so she did not cheat.....
2007-03-07 05:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by Alia H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure, absolutely sure that you would like to be with this young woman?
I think that she may be a complete partyier..and also loves to drink...like too much!
In my personal opinion..you might need to just think about what you really want in a relationship....in general...(and don't include her..while you think or debate about this issue...!!!!)
You need to really think seriously about what YOU want....
maybe you should try making a list...
what you want in a relationship and what you don't want..
or what you won't put up with....ya know?
I had to do this with an ex close friend...(it took me a long time to get around to letting this person go...and I should have let her go like ages ago...because she really hurt the friendship big time, for me!!!!) For me, trust is definitely an issue...and respect, and honesty...etc...those are key components in a relationship/friendship....what about you?
Also, scruples....my ex close friend thought nothing about going after other people's hubby's or boyfriends,/fiance's...she thought basically that it was "fair game"...and she would lie to me as well,and keep major secrets about MY life from me!!!
(A mutual friend of ours, told her that my long ago boyfriend had written seven love letters to her..and for my close friend never to let me know that this had happened in the first place!!!) Maybe she should have kept it from me...but, then this is what my ex-close friend did..she let part of the cat out of the bag..and then, get this, refused to give me the whole story....just dropped the subject, totally! I didn't find this out until about one or two years later!!! (I think that I should have known this about my ex-that way, I could have ditched him!!!!! ya know?) Just letting you know...that I wouldn't trust her...because think about this for a minute...what if she slept around with others..and then you got aides or some other God awful disease? What then? Do you want to live longer...or forget it?
You are sleeping with her..AND everybody else that she slept with!!! Think about that...okay...????
Just basically trying to give you a lil' help here.....Not trying to pick on you!
Peace!
2007-03-07 05:07:52 · answer #3 · answered by ladyk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you were broken up, but that somewhat shows she is kind of interested in other guys. I'm guessing your both young and 5 years is a while so its natural shes gonna want to mess around with other people when your broken up. I know that **** hurts, but you really got to decide yourself on what to do.
2007-03-07 05:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by Will W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you rally love her and deep inside think that it will never happen and that she loves you back than forgive her, even though God says forgive in all cases.
My opinion on this is that if yo0u do something you will do it again.
Good luck and safe sex
2007-03-07 05:01:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THIS HAPPENS A LOT MORE THAN YOU THINK- EVER WATCH MAURY- AND WITH KIDS! THIS ISN'T YOU. OK SO SHE ****** THAT OTHER GUY BECAUSE SHE PROBABLY WAS LONELY AND MISSED YOU. GIRLS AND GUYS DO STUPID THINGS. LET IT GO AND TELL THE GUY STOP BEING A ****. HE WAS A WHORING ****** JUST AS MUCH BUT LOOK, JUST GET ON WITH LIFE AND FORGET IT. I KNOW IT'S HARD BUTTO BE HONEST , PEOPLE DO THIS CAUSE THEIR HURT AND BY SCREWING SOMEONE ELSE THEY CAN GET THAT PERSON "BACK" WETHER IT'S BY REVENGE OR BECAUSE THEY ARE HURT AND MISS THEM.
2007-03-07 05:00:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go meet her have it off and then take off. She is did not tell the truth once thats too much.Every time you have a little tiff you will worry. Better off without her.
2007-03-07 04:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart! If you really love her then you should give her and yourself a chance. If she really loves you, she'll never make this mistake again. All the best!
2007-03-07 04:59:56 · answer #8 · answered by blurqu33n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you feel about her, if you still love her see her. if you can't trust her then say no, but explain why, even if you decide to se her talk to her about it. tell her she has hurt you. it can help the relationship or break it, it's really up to you to decide.
2007-03-07 05:01:31 · answer #9 · answered by mtm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she may have betrayed your love but you still care about her, don't you. Make it clear that you are clearly cross at her but if she has a reason, hear her out. You have a right to be angry but just hear her out.
2007-03-07 05:09:23 · answer #10 · answered by daveajie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋