I broke up with my ex because he neglected me and pretty much just treated me like crap, after we broke up, he tried incredibly hard to convince me that I was the bad person, and he did convince me for a short period of time. But then my friends made me realize that hes just trying to play the guilt card on me so that he doesnt have to deal with feeling guilty.
Since we've broken up, I decided to make an effort to stay friends. But everytime I talk to him its always the same thing, all he does is whine about how his life sucks and how he has serious problems in his life and how he's sick and blah blah. I try to be sympathetic but there's only so much sympathy i can give to a guy who broke my heart. Recently he has been the only one calling me and making an effort to stay in touch, I havent called him at all and I know he thinks I'm a ***** or something for it.
So is it bitchy of me not to call him? I just really would rather not hear his whining.
2007-03-06 19:26:21 · 16 answers · asked by hannah j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No. You don't need people like that in your life. Negative people only make you feel like crap. You have known him for a long time and he is still the same so there's no sense in telling yourself that you can help him. In fact staying in touch with him will probably only encourage his attitude. If you expel him from your life you will be happier and he may realise that this 'poor me' attitude does not work and will not be as much of a burden to the next person he is with.
2007-03-06 19:32:51 · answer #1 · answered by Miss La La 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you've already answered the question for yourself. The only question I would ask you is this: do you feel good after having talked with him? If the answer is no (and it seems to be) then you should call him and let him know why. Tell him the truth. He deserves to hear that much. Tell him, in a nice way, that you didn't appreciate the way he treated you while you were dating. Now, he has a chance to be your friend, but he's not doing a good job of that either because he makes you feel uncomfortable when he talks badly about his life. You could tell him you feel as though he's blaming you for the problems in his life and while you understand he has problems, you really need to establish a positive, healthy friendship with him. Tell him that when he's ready to have a more positive friendship, you will be there for him. In the meantime, tell him not to call you anymore.
Honestly, if he is your friend and wants a friendship with you, he will change his tune. If not, you'll move on and find a better friend anyways-and not one that will bring you down-ex or otherwise.
2007-03-07 03:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut all contact.
Stand back and look at all the drama this is causing. Is this worth it? What you BOTH need is to MOVE ON. Is trying to keep together that "friendship" really worth all of this? Just end it. I can empathize well with your story, I promise you will BOTH find someone better suited for your needs. What you are doing now is just needlessly tearing open old wounds, let them heal. His telling you how terrible his life is is simply a ploy to get attention and affection from you, and to some degree it is working.
I think the worst pain a human will ever endure is the loss of a loved one. So, would you rather drag out this terrible experience or end it with a quick and clean break?
2007-03-07 03:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by THUB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not bitchy. You tried to be his best friend, and look how he made you feel. If you try to be just a friend now as with most men. He will feel like your leading him on, or still want a relationship. Do you both a favor. Stay away in person and in mind.
2007-03-07 03:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by bb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. I think you have just realized its time to move on. He just sees that your not paying attention to his hissy fits and is trying to regain your attention. The minute you do... he'll start being an @ss again. He sounds just like my Ex after its too late.... they temp. try to be what you wanted in the first place, let me just tell you. they never do. Dont feel bad... I dont. We tried to be friends.... he blew it... and now he knows its too late! I dont have the patients to deal with crap for the next 6 months till he moves on or gets bored.
2007-03-07 03:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by juli_jugz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunn not at all hes the one being all bitchy an whining like a little pussy ! so yeah if he treated you like **** then treat him like **** by not calling him ! Move on babe ull find yourself a guy whos going to treat you like a Queen!
2007-03-07 03:43:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its not bitchy of you to not call him. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to hear someone whining...especially your ex. Move on from him.
Bless your heart
2007-03-07 03:31:30 · answer #7 · answered by The Voice of Reason 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, you deserve better than that. Like you said, theres only so much you can take. Too much negativity from him is just a sign that he needs to grow up. Next time when he's whining just tell him "DO something about it!", and just left it at that.
2007-03-07 03:33:12 · answer #8 · answered by SYDTX 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No need to call him.
You made the choice to end a dysfunctional relationship.
You can choose to have people in your life who enrich you and not suck the life out of you
2007-03-07 03:31:49 · answer #9 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i know you most likely have never heard this lyric "but if i dont break your heart, then things will just get worse".....and unfortunately, i think thats what you have to do, you have to tell him that he needs to move on with his life, and u can't be part of his life, so then just tell him that. it is bitchy, but unfortunately it seems like it will be what it takes for him to move ahead and get on with his life.......i dont know what else to say, it doesn't seem like you will be able to live with him if you get back with him so, this is what i have to say.
2007-03-07 03:36:32 · answer #10 · answered by ParadoxZero 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋