is there any other way to disipline your child without spanking?

Question

my almost two year old is really wild . He's always getting into everything..even things ive yelled at him before like playing with the dogs water or getting into cabinets with our chemicals in it or when he's outside i always have to yell at him to not go into the street or neighbors yard but he refuses to listen..he's barely starting to talk and i know he kinda understands but i think he just doesnt care. i dont know if me and my husband have anything to do with it cuz were always fighting and i try not to fight in front of him but i wish someone could tell me another way to discipline my child cuz I dont like to spank or yell at him..i dont want him hating me when he grows up. Any suggestions??

Answer 1

What's is most important is being proactive; setting your child up to succeed before he's acting out. Make sure your giving him plenty of positive attention. Praise him when he does things correctly and tell him what a good job he has done. Make sure you "label" what you have seen him do, ie. "Wow! You did a great job washing your hands!" This way he will know what his appropriate behavior is. As he gets a little older you can also use role play to let him understand how to act correctly in a given situation. For example, if you and you son are going to the store, you can act out a pretend visit right before you leave. Let him be the "parent" and you be the "child." Let him correct you for doing inappropriate things such as running off or pulling things off the shelf. Your son is still a little young for this but when he's 3-4 he'll love it. As far as discipline goes, try using short, involved time aways. Sit with him in an area with no distractions to give him a chance to wind down. As he gets older and learns his numbers you and he can count slowly to ten, and then from ten back to one. You can also try the "birthday candles" method instead of counting. Hold all of your fingers up and pretend they are birthday candles, let him blow each one "out," (he blows on each of your fingers and you put them down). This will help him collect himself and get him ready to listen to you. Once he is calmed, let him know what he did wrong. Keep it simple at first (ie. "You threw a toy at Timmy, do not do that anymore.") As he gets older you can talk it out a little more and let him know that his behaviors have consequences. (ie. "You threw a toy at Timmy, and you hurt him and made him cry") The idea of these time aways is not to make the child feel bad, but just to let him know that his behavior is not acceptable. Remember, constantly yelling at him and spanking him MIGHT make him behave simply because he is afraid, but I'm sure you don't want this. You would probably rather have a child who behaves because he understands the difference between right and wrong and wants to do right. Of course, everything I just said above will be worthless if he sees the adults in his life constantly fighting and yelling at each other. That will give him conflicting messages and confuse him. So make an agreement with your husband starting this very instant that for the sake of your child, you WILL NOT fight in front of him. Save it for later if you must. Good luck!

Answer 2

Kids understand a lot more than we give them credit for. First of all, it sounds like you and your husband are having some issues and you need to talk to your child and let him know that you both love him. Question: Are you physically fighting or not fighting fair? If you are fighting fair, let the child know that parents sometimes fight and reassure your son that it doesn't have anything to do with him. If you aren't fighting fair, let him know that it's not appropriate behavior and you all are trying to stop. Your child is picking up EVERYTHING now, especially from you and your husband.

Next, in terms of disciplining your son, I have found that my ds responds to items that he loves being taken away from him. His favorite car or toy taken away for several minutes to a day has worked wonders. It gets his attention and he remembers. some people think kids forget after a short period of time....I took my sons ball away and forgot that I put it up in the closet. I gave him the ball a week later and he said that he was sorry. I asked him what he was talking about and he recalled the incident that got him in trouble the week before. Poor kid, it must have been torture seeing the ball in the closet daily and not being able to get it. Needless to say, he no longer carries out the activity that got the ball taken away.

by disciplining your son, he will not hate you. To the contrary. Kids love boundaries even though they whine initially.

Answer 3

Children at this age are programmed to experiment. They are what we call in the psychology world as "little scientists". It may seem at times that your child is trying to push your buttons and get away with whatever he can, but in reality children at this age are just expermenting to find out how things work. This is actually a very good thing. What you need to do is "child proof" your home or give him a little space anywhere in the home where he will be safe to play with toys and experiment with "safe things". Also instead of punishing you child, by the way childen at this age do not understand that is what is happening they see you as just being "mean". Put his attention on something useful make it a game!! If hes in the dog dish hand him a toy to play with set his attention elsewhere. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well you can send him to his room... You can discipline kids in a calm manner... and calm voice... tell him what he did wrong in a calm voice before you send him off to his room... If he doesn't listen, take him by the hand, and drag him if you have to...

Also..in his defense... it's actually healthy for kids to explore and "get into things"... if it's not going to kill him (i.e., playing with the dogs water) then try to be more understanding that kids are very curious and need to satisfy their curiosity.. let him do some things... (get locks for the cabinets with the chemicals though).. If you constantly prevent him from satisfying his curiosity, then he's going to grow up not wanting to take risks.. This could be damaging to his career when he grows up.. Kids develop their personalities in the first few years of their life.

Answer 5

He wont hate you when he grows up, there is a big difference between spanking and beating your child. and yes you and your husband fighting around him does not help at all, because he has learned to tune that out when it does happen. Try putting him in a corner, in a time out chair facing a wall with no toys ect....
start taking things away from him that he likes as in toys stuffed animals.

Answer 6

Sounds like he's looking for attention and he doesn't care how he gets it. Positive or negative. And if kids can't always get the positive attention, they try for the negative attention. Or when the parents are fighting in front of the child, the child sometimes tries to intervene by focusing the negative energy on him instead. Kids don't like to see mommy and daddy fight, so they try to create a distraction by getting themselves in trouble. Think of it as an eye opener. Your child is trying to tell you both to look at him and notice him instead of showing him your anger towards eachother.

Answer 7

Um..stop fighting in front of your 2 year old first of all. If you and ur husband have that bad of a relationship that u need to fight in front of ur child its time for a divorce. Then you might have the time to notice ur child and give him ur attention instead of giving it all to ur husband!

Answer 8

This is all the battle of wills stage, your the adult let him know that - be firm and totally ignore the tantrums(easier said than done) that will happen so he can get his own way, reward his good behaviour only.Keep to your punishment

Answer 9

I use time out and it works. The first couple of times you might have to hold them in the chair. However they soon learn to sit in the chair. Just be consistant! If you put him in time out for something then everytime he does it he must be put on timeout. He will break out of it.

Answer 10

Children live what they learn. Hope that helps. Lead by example & do everyone a BIG FAVOR!