Is it just me or does anyone else thinks that it is crazy to spend tons of money on a wedding, go in debt and live in a small apartment? I know people have the right to do what they want with their money, but I think that it makes more sense to save money, since the money is the #1 cause of divorce. What are your thoughts?
2007-03-06 18:50:28 · 24 answers · asked by Fireanddesir 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are absolutely right... I know people who are paying off loans for their wedding... AFTER THE DIVORCE!
Over the years I've gone to many weddings, and the ones I've enjoyed the most were the ones that were put together on a budget,usually with the family coordinating the catering (not a potluck, but an organized meal that people close to the couple contributed to).
And in retrospect... all of the couples who had the simple weddings are still together, including hubby and me! 33 years next week... we had the reception in my mom's family room! And most of the people who had big ostentatious weddings are now divorced...
Not sure it proves anything... but perhaps having common sense in the beginning is what leads to the successful marriages :)
2007-03-06 20:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by endorable 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's just insane to live beyond your means, period. People are so in debt because they feel like they have to keep up with what "everyone else" is doing, and they are -- going into debt.
It doesn't matter if you have 5 or 500 people at your wedding. It's not the wedding that's important. It's the marriage!!! The wedding is one day to celebrate the committment you're making to spend the rest of your life with the one you love. I think too many young couples are too obsessed with the "big day" and would truthfully have the fabulous wedding than the great marriage.
I know that sounds mean, but when I see brides-to-be freaking out over things like place cards and personalized chocolate bars, and what the bridesmaids' shoes look like, I have to wonder where there priorities are. The truth of the matter is that it does not matter what happens that day. It's your wedding day, you'll still be the bride and it will still be special.
Anyway, in a nutshell, I agree with you 1,000,000%. If couples would focus on their lives as a married couple and their futures, I think you'd see a lot simpler weddings, and a much lower divorce rate!!
Great question, BTW.
2007-03-07 02:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Money is definitely not the prime cause of divorce; selfishness and immaturity are. Money might sometimes come up as an issue, but it is never the problem - it could be something related like resentment or control...
However, I think it's crazy for anyone to go into debt over a wedding. The couple, who these days pays for the wedding themselves, need to just budget on what they can afford, how much they have saved. It's just silly to do anything else. And, there's nothing wrong with living in an apartment or anywhere else. We've been married over 17 years, and have never owned a house; we are currently renting a duplex. There are often circumstances; in our case, it was so I could leave my profession and become a SAHM, which was more important to us.
2007-03-07 02:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, my husband and I had a small wedding and we living in an apartment. we cant afford a house as I am back in school and even if we could I dont think we would buy one. neither of us are interested in owning a house. not every couple wants a house. some people prefer apartments as the upkeep and rapairs are not their responsibility. having say that, i think it is crazy to spend a ton of money on a wedding then complain that you cant afford a house or that you need to tell everyone where you are registered so they can buy you all this stuff you need that you could have bought yourself if you didnt have a huge wedding. I think people miss the point. the marriage is whats important, not a huge, lavish wedding. in the end, only you and your fiance, maybe your parents as well will remember it. I think the #1 cause of divorce is people focusing more on a wedding then the marriage. its like they want a wedding so bad that they forget the fact they are making a huge commitment.
2007-03-07 01:19:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't speak for anyone else but my fiance and I are having a semi-expensive wedding considering the costs of weddings that I've seen in Connecticut. We're paying about 25,000 to 30,000 for our wedding but then again we've been engagement since December of 2005, we don't live together, we live with our parents so we don't pay any rent, we don't have any major bills besides cell phones and like 1 or 2 credit cards. We've been saving since the end of 2005 and we are buying a house the same time we're paying for our wedding. A big wedding is what we both want and buying a house really isn't costing us alot because we are going to be in a first time home buyer program and won't have to cough up a big deposit. If we planned our engagement to be shorter there was no way we would be able to afford a wedding a home. But whatever floats your boat is what I think. If you want to splurge on a big wedding and then get a apartment good for you. It's no one's business what you do but your own.
2007-03-07 00:42:58 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're quite right, Steph, it's a hangover from the generation before mine, and you'll probably find that there is a mother behind the pressure to have a big wedding. My elder son only last week married an half Indian girl, and the pressure from her mother, her sisters, and all the aunts was amazing. But they stuck to their guns, and we had a ceremony on the beach at sundown in Western Australia. They're both surfers. There was a market tent, a card table and a mat, and that was the venue. It was amazingly beautiful. Mind you, the reception at the harbour-side restaurant was something ELSE!
2007-03-06 19:00:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
of course in a perfect world, you can have both! but seeing that this is not a perfect world, I rather choose to have a house than to have a lavish expensive wedding. Having a home means stability whereas an expensive wedding is just a one day thing. Yes, weddings should be remembered but that is why most people hire nice photographers and video recorders so that it is remembered.....when you are laying on the sofa with a hot cup of coffee in front of the fireplace....of your own home. =)
2007-03-06 20:41:02 · answer #7 · answered by *purplelicious* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can have a nice wedding without spending a ton of money. If you have anyone in the family that is crafty you might ask them if they can make some of the stuff rather than buying it.
2007-03-06 19:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ozzie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree. I just read that the average US wedding costs about $30,000. YIKES!!!! That is completely insane to me. My fiancee and I both work for a living, and neither of us have parents able to finance a grandiose wedding. For those that do, more power to you, but the people that take out a loan for a wedding... tsk tsk. We will be footing the bill for our own wedding, and the 30K will be going to a house, not a party.
2007-03-07 08:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by sapphirafire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think any opportunity to actually live with the person you are going to marry before you get hitched is a must. Be with them 24/7 find out their habits and bad points, the big wedding is nice and all but people get caught up in the planning of it, when they should be concentrating on whether they can live with that person for the rest of their lives.
2007-03-06 19:37:18 · answer #10 · answered by Ramirez 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋