Attention Deficit Disorder - To Drug or Not to Drug?

Question

My son (almost 12) was recently diagnosed with ADD. It's something that he's "had" for years but has never really caused any problems. He had trouble sitting still at the dinner table and while watching TV but what kid doesn't? As he's gotten older we've noticed that his social skills are behind his peers (altho he has a "girlfriend" but that's another questions altogether) and he has become very depressed and suicidal. He started seeing a therapist (who diagnosed it) and the therapist feels my son would benefit from medication. We have a dr. appt. scheduled for a physical (and possible meds) but want to know what's out there other than drugs that may be beneficial and help my son.

Before you start spouting off how I'm a bad parent I want to tell you that my son is a straight A, GATE student, doesn't get in trouble in school or at home (really) and he has never thrown a temper tantrum in a store (or anywhere else)...he's a young man in pain and needs assistance, not judgement.

Answer 1

One of my best friend's son also has ADD. (He's 13.) She was totally against medicating him for years. But, as he got older, he had more and more outbursts, and became more and more aggressive, probably due to the hormone changes of puberty. Finally, the school system told her he must be medicated or he'd be moved with the "special" kids, so she decided to give it a try. After some months of trial and error with different meds and dosages, he's a totally different kid. Now she feels badly that she didn't get him the help he needed sooner, although his social skills are rapidly catching up to his peers.

I know from personal experience that medication for depression can save your life, and it's not necessarily a life-long sentence. Many people feel better after a few months or years, and can be gradually weaned off the meds.

Keep in mind that these types of medications take a couple of weeks to a month to become effective, so be patient. Report any side effects to his doctor. Every medication effects different people in different ways, so dosages and types may need to be altered to fit your child.

Unfortunately, too many people are hugely uneducated about mental health issues and psychological problems, so be sure to tell your child that the meds don't mean he's "crazy" or even that there's anything "wrong" with him, just that you want him to feel better and achieve the most he possibly can.

Answer 2

There's no question it is not caused by your parenting. One problem is so many kids are being diagnosed with ADD I'd want a second opinion. Also take a look at what he eats. Some kids have a mild allergy or sensitivity to some ordinary food that causes behavior issue. Very often it's wheat gluten or eggs or something. I think it might be helpful to have an allergy test although sometimes even that doesn't cover everything since food additives and preservatives can be the culprit. I'd try to look into everything before resorting to drugs. Many kids simply become zombies on them and that's not a good trade off. You might want to talk to a nutritionist too. Sometimes the depresssion results from their feeling they can't accomplish the things they want to because their attention is always diverted to other things. It's often difficult for them to put it into words so he may not be able to tell you exactly what's going on. Do some research on the internet or at the library. You can find out a lot in a week so check out all you can before going to the doc.

http://www.add.org/
http://add.about.com/
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/adhd.cfm
http://www.addresources.org/

Answer 3

First of all, let me tell you as the mother of two teenage boys that a lot of dr.'s like to label most problems as ADD. They tried with my boys and while sitting with them through one of the "tests" to diagnose, it turns out that I have it instead (LOL) and that 70%+ of people/children could fall into this category. Look at all of the problems and not just the first answer. It is generally wrong.

I was on numerous different medications and discovered that a type of therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) helped more than anything. It teaches the person in question how to deal with what is going on emotionally/mentally and what to do with it (especially if he is having any kind of inappropriate behaviors), instead of simply medicating the problems away (which most doctors like to do). Because with medication there is nothing learned. Everything is merely chemically repressed. A lot of therapists recommend this thereapy, especialy for younger people that probably already need to learn how to deal with stuff. Even if your son only has a mild depression (but it just sounds like he's becoming a teenager and maybe bored) this would help.

Please look at as many options as you can before turning to medications. Most medications that are out there for handling ADD or depression in kids usually has serious side effects as well as incredibly harsh side effects when you decide he doesn't need it anymore. And remember that medication should only EVER be considered as an absolute last resort (or if the kid is violently out of control - psychotic - and I don't think yours is).

Take care and I hope this helped.

Answer 4

#1, You are NOT a bad parent.

ADD is not a rare disorder, but (in genuine cases) it's not that common either. I've found a lot of kids are being diagnosed with it, when they really aren't. ADD is a genuine condition, but from what I know/understand, it's an easy opt-out.

I would recommend getting a 2nd opinion and doing some research on ADD, also try modifying your sons diet - it could be something silly, my brother as a kid was a hyperactive little ****, but my mum (single parentl limited budget) found that by a process of elimination she could figure out which foods had an effect on him and which didn't. It took a while.

A 12 year old doesn't need to be taking medication like that if he doesn't need it.

Please don't think I'm being rude - I'm not! He may genuinely be ADD but before you consider meds there are other options you can try.

Good luck :)

Answer 5

Your sons problem is not from being a bad parent it is a real medical problem. You need to weigh the options, ADD drugs have the same chemical components as cocaine. Antidepressants work great but in children under 18 they have been shown to cause suicidal tendencies or make already present tendencies stronger. Have a long conversation with your doctor your seeing and really weigh the options. Good luck.

Answer 6

I don't think he has ADD. Get a second opinion. If he can concentrate on his school work then clearly he can concentrate on somthing when it's interesting. If he can't sit in front of the TV don't be diappointed, that's a good thing. I think a lot of ADD, especially in older people is caused by TV. I wouldn't give him drigs for ADD, what he has sounds more like depression, but even that I wouldn't give him drugs for, just be there for him, he will probably grow out of it without drugs if he has a good support system. If he takes drugs now he is likely to never learn any alternative coping skills and be on drugs the rest of his life.

I'm not a doctor, this is just my opinion.

Answer 7

Meds out of the question. Don't start making the pharmacuitcal companies richer than what they are. Try changing your son's diet. Get a second opinion. Try natural cures. Go to Search for natural cures ADD. Good Luck!

Answer 8

STOP! HOLD THE PHONE!! STOP!!!....STOP!!!!!

When I was a kid, I had the same symptoms and had a doctor who hadnt sold his soul to the pharmacy companies. I was a total *** as a child. I lived with a single mom who loved me and I put her through hell and I knew I was, but couldnt stop.
You child is suffering from what will one day become glucose intolerant or Diabetes issues.
I demanded donuts on Saturday mornings, Cokes every 2 hours, I demanded ice cream and chocolote, all the pasta I could eat and it made me a monster. After my diet was changed, drastically lowering sugars my head began to clear, my thoughts were more focused and I soon realised the hell I put my mother through.
Lower your childs sugar intake. Change your colas from Coke to Diet ANYTHING...no sugar.....instead of donuts...feed the child eggs and bacon, take it easy on the bread.
If you put your child on a low carb diet, I can promise you that you will see huge results, and one day, just like myself, your child will have more respect for your changing his diet, putting up with his revolting against your new direction than if you took the wrong route and hooked him on drugs.
As I got older I tossed my diet aside, gained alot of weight and my blood sugar sky rocketed to its old levels. This caused me depression, high blood pressure, tendancy to drink alcohol, and overall inability to co-exist with others. In time I realised that my dietary changes brought this on, I went back to my mothers diet, and PRESTO!....my blood pressure went back to normal, my tri-glycerides stablized and my friends began to call me again.
Take this for what its worth, but I am telling you....do not go the drug route yet. This decision will have long term effects on not just you, but your child for years to come.
Good luck!
D@N

Answer 9

Drugs are dangerous and foods, as supplements, are not.

"Let food be your medicine" --- Hippocrates