my b/f and i were at the movies and he made a comment that some guys hit their wives aftr they gt married,&?

Question

since we were planning on getting engaged this year,i found it odd that he would jokingly tell me that.so i let it pass,but that evening i sent him the following email. I said:
"hi, hw u doin.
you knw wat, sumtn you told me yday was bothering me the whole time lasnyt...it was kinda weird of you to tell me bout that article you read in the papers bout that guy who kept his wife locked up and hitting her and stuff.i dont know why you would tell me sumtn like that. it wznt even funni"
well, he hasnt replied till now,he just sent me an 'i love you' sms that evening.am i overeacting,or was it a valid question? i take his silence to mean that he is probably guilty.
plz guys and girls, help me out!

Answer 1

WOW!!! what a bizarre comment to make in passing... did it have anything at all to do with the movie you were watching???

I think you have a very valid concern, and one that needs to be addressed immediately if not sooner... abuse is nothing to joke about (unless of course, you are a comedian and joking about sensitive subjects is how you make your living).

His silence doesn't necessarily mean that he's guilty and had planned on smacking you around.. it could mean that he's embarrased about having made such an insensitive comment... either way, you deserve to know the truth...

of course... it is entirely possible that he was talking about it because he was trying to (in some twisted fashion) assure you that he would never treat you like that... and if that's the case - wonderful... he just needs to work on his presentation a little, that's all.

best wishes

Answer 2

If you have the slightest suspicion that you're with a guy who will hit you, you hit the road as fast as you can. He's poison. What are some signs? How does he treat animals and kids and his own parents? How does his father treat his mother, his brother treat his wife/gf? Does he ever get mad or angry or pissy when he asks you to do something and either you don't do it right away or at all? Does he get angry at other drivers, at salespeople, at waiters? What is his "anger factor" on a scale of 1-10, 10 being really angry all the time and 1 being a nice mellow fellow? Anything over a 5 is poison. Actually, anything over a 2 or 3 is probably trouble. Be careful and good luck.

Answer 3

The first thing i thought was that is was weird for you to email him. If you guys are thinking of getting engaged shouldn't you be that open and communicate well enough to talk about anything.? If you have problem then just ask, stop being a teenager and hiding behind emails. if he mentioned it it could be something completley innocent. besides, don't you know him well enough by now and if you even have doubts about what his actions may be like after you get married then here's a thought - don't marry him

Answer 4

i've got by no potential cried at a action picture... >_< the two I even have tear ducts of metallic or i'm very emotionally indifferent. i in my opinion enjoyed the computer however! It made me think of, "this could be an extremely appropriate time for me to cry!" and that i felt unhappy... yet i did not cry... e_e

Answer 5

So what brought this comment about? I would really think twice about it too. Talking in person about it would be better as just the expressions on his face will be a giveaway if he is serious or not, esp if you know him well. Silence is one thing but the eyes give away everything.
Go with your gut feeling on this one, its usually right most of the time

Answer 6

Was he just bringing it up as a topic of conversation? If so, maybe discuss the topic with him. There may be some reason he brought it up.

Has he ever hit you? Or have you ever been afraid that he might? If he EVER scares or intimidates you (even without physical contact)--don't marry him!! In fact, break up with him immediately.

If you have never been afraid of him and he has never done anything to scare you, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 7

STOP THERE IS THE RED FLAG!!!!!
This does happen a lot and if he thinks it funny then it is acceptable in his life. You need to clear this up now and don't move any farther in your relationship. Been there almost died, I'm not kidding. I went to counseling and tried to get my then husband to go but he told the counselor and psychiatrist that it was all me and only me. They told me to leave and I didn't until he tried to say I hurt my child and they proved he was lying. I left after that . But I was screwed up for being in that 7 years I still have panic attacks, night mares and PTS. If you have never been there you don't want to go. I have been divorced from him 17 years and it damaged me. I carry a weapon now because my body or mind can't take anymore damage.You may hurt from breaking it off, but it's better than to be screwed up for life.

Answer 8

When he told you that, you should of told him yeah it's true, some guys do hit their wives and I hope no man is ever stupid enough to hit me cause I'd go ballistic on him have him thrown in jail so fast it would make his head spin and I'm not joking. Any questions?

Answer 9

Don't send him an email. talk to him, face to face and let him know exactly how you feel about a man hitting a woman. Tell him you wouldn't accept that situation no matter what. See what he says and watch his reaction.

Answer 10

Your grammer tells me you are not ready to be married.

He was probably joking, but if any ounce of you wonders what his intentions were then you have a problem. If you are with someone long enough and know them well enough to want to be married, you shouldn't question their personality. You would know if he is kidding or serious. Trust your gut.