Well here is the situation I have been in a relationship with this man for two years we recently broke up because we were not getting along (always yelling and arguing) this can be because we saw eachother every single day for the past two years. It is the third week that we are separated. I saw him with another girl twice on the first week that we broke up. Currently we are still talking as friends because we know eachother very well and I still love him and care about him but we are no longer together and I have accepted that and at this moment that we are not together I would like to better myself in many ways including moving out. While I was talking to him about moving out on my own he suggested that we move out together as room mates he would like to get a two bedroom apartment (which is $1000 or more) and we split everything so that would be $500 plus utilities and other expenses. Me on the other hand agree to a certain extent. I would move out with him because I know him and...
2007-03-06 17:45:51 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
his financial situation but I would prefer to live in a studio or the most a one bedroom apartment and split it. What I would prefer the most is moving out with a boyfriend instead of a room mate because it would be alot less expenses to loose. But now I am leave to choose whether I move out with him or on my own.
2007-03-06 17:49:03 · update #1
Don't move out with him, everything will get too complicated. You guys broke up for a reason, and it's not gonna help if you moved out with him. And again like you said, after dating for TWO whole years, he's with another girl in a WEEK... You just never know...
2007-03-06 18:05:06 · answer #1 · answered by asdf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say that you were always arguing, and yelling at each other and you beleive it is because you saw eachothe every day for 2 years. Who's choice was it to separate yours,or his? Was it mutual? Did you both separate in the heat of anger? You have to be honest with yourself, and answer these questions. It has allot to do with your decision.
Obviously if he was able to go out with another girl, during the first week that you broke up he does not have the same deep emotional feelings that you have for him. It seems to me that he is not the type of person that really lets himself get emotionallly involved, and to him women are like food to him. He chooses the "SPECIAL OF THE DAY" ON THE MENU.
You say you would like to better yourself, and move out. That means that you are still living together, and just not have sex. Well he already moved out already emotionally, as he is getting it somewhere else.
I am sure that you had to work on yourself to "accept" the fact that you no longer are together. But the truth is, you did not "accept" it. He gave you no choice.
When you brought up the subject of moving out and getting your own place he saw an opportunity to benefit financially by moving to a larger place, and sharing expenses. He is looking out for himself only. In every way he did, and is still trying to use you. First it was the fact that you lived together, he had someone to share the duties to run a household, and had someone to satisfy his sexual needs.
Of course you are good freinds, if you had a pet dog living with you for 2 years you would also come to love it, and care for it. I beleive it is the fact that you just feel comfortable with him. Starting over on your own, is frightening.
If you love him as you say you do, it will be impossible for you to live together under the same roof. He will bring his girlfriends home, that will kill you. Even if he does not bring them home, every time he stays out late you will have emotional pain. You will not be able to "move on". You will constantly be fighting with yourself trying to deal with your emotions.
I belieive subconsiously you want him back very badly, and you think that if you move to a larger apartment together then you still have a chance. Remember you were arguing all the time so why would it be any different? It will be only worse. You are using the financial benefits you will have as an excuse. After a while you will end up with the same question, but then you will already have your answer.
Why put yourself through all the pain all over again???
Move out, move on, and eventually you will find someone who is worthy of you. You have a chance to improve yourself. GRAB IT!!!!!!!!
BEEN THIER, DONE THAT.
2007-03-07 03:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly if someone cant stop yelling at me i eventually shut their mouth for them.
if thats the situation you want to be in then jump right back into it, but seriously if you do so and something happens remember that there is a big difference between a victim of abuse and willing participant in a fight.
i guess what im saying is this... you are already mentioning another girl, the info you gave before that says that things were tense beforehand. it seems like the 3 weeks hasnt really made you forget about your anger.
it sounds bad, if it was my daughter, id try and convince her not to
if it was my gf, it wont be an option after we finally move out of here, i'll be so glad to be done arguing all the time i probably wont come to answers to vent anymore lol
i am so sick of it already that as it stands right now we really dont argue, i say something, no matter what it is she disagrees and then i immediately explode to the point that even if she was arguing you would never hear her anyway.
2007-03-07 01:57:19 · answer #3 · answered by THEMENACE47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say if you can afford to liveon your own then that is the best thing to do. I dont know if you have Judge Judy in your area but her show is full of room mates who stiff each other. Besides why live with someone you no longer get along with. As a ex you really dont want to hear him in the other room with his new girl and as a man he wont be able to give you the space you will need to move on. Dont set yourself up for more heart ache.
2007-03-07 02:13:44 · answer #4 · answered by Priceless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically if you move in with your ex...it's instant booty for both of you....when you're both home of course.
This could be a plus.
If you see eachother everyday again...Could lead to fighting and just a bad deal altogether. One of you will want to move out.
Finally, if you are seeing other peeps...when you bring them to the house it might be a little weird when your shagging and your ex is down the hall from you.
More negatives than positive.
Good luck with whatever you choose.
peace
2007-03-07 01:52:20 · answer #5 · answered by d_miano81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with your heart..n as i can c iz not workin...n besides u guys need space n time away from each other..especially when its not evenmarriage..even if u guys break up sooner or later yo'll make up cus u guys live tagether makes it easier...n once a cheater always a cheater..n he might tell u to muv out if he get a gurl so go head
2007-03-07 01:53:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move out on your own. You can still be friends with him. I wouldn't want to live with an ex.
2007-03-07 01:52:06 · answer #7 · answered by m k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No he is your ex for a reason. go it on our own or find a roommate with good a credit history, wouldn't hurt to check criminal background now days.
2007-03-07 01:51:45 · answer #8 · answered by queenie one 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey DO NOT MOVE OUT WITH HIM. that is not necessary, simply say no. u can't really move on if u 2 move in 2gether. trust me it will be uncomfortable for both of u to date again if u guyz become rommies.
2007-03-07 01:51:37 · answer #9 · answered by sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go your own way ... its not working
2007-03-07 01:48:23 · answer #10 · answered by q6656303 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋