My sweetheart and I just found out we are having a baby. After manny intense discussions we have decided to keep the baby, neither of us could live with ourselves if we chose to terminate it.( I already am a single mom going to school full time plus working nd he has no kids) But how do i get him to be as excited about it as I am? Obviously it will hit him when i am showing, but for now??????
he has always been extremly caring and generous, like rubbing my back and cooking diner before i us, so his actions as taking care of me were always there, and i know he will make a wonderful dad, he already steps up to when my kids' dad fails, and fails often. what should i look for as sighns so i have a wee bit more sucurity about the whole situation. I am all pumped on what we need to do, and he is over being scared, we discussed it, but i don't see any real excitment unless i ask directly about it, and to me that doesn't count if i have to bring it up!
2007-03-06 17:04:08 · 12 answers · asked by mtnightskies 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You can't.
2007-03-06 17:06:34 · answer #1 · answered by Hi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me that you have a good guy there. I would be glad of what you have and not expect him to be exactly as you wish.
It could be however, that he has a hidden fear that the baby will cause problems as you have already parted from one father, he could fear losing you, so maybe he needs security too. After all you know what to expect and you are already a parent, to him it is a whole new thing and definitely scary.
He will be excited when the arrival gets nearer, regardless, so just try to keep him involved and be aware that he may feel pushed to the background when the new baby comes. Take time to be close with him and reassure him of your love for him, both before and after the birth and i am sure all will be fine. He may already feel like the baby is taking you away if you spend more time talking about that than him. Men are an insecure species largely.
2007-03-07 01:19:49 · answer #2 · answered by Willie Wonky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't push the excitement on him! He's taking it the only way he knows how, and for now, this is the way he will express himself on knowing that he'll be a father, soon.
Just leave him be, and don't expect too much, if he isn't excited, already. He may be excited, on the inside, but just doesn't express it the way you want him to. You'll only frustrate him if you go on pushing him to be as enthusiatic as you are.
Trust me, he's happy, and content with the whole situation, but I wouldn't count on any 'thrilling somersaults, or cartwheels' from him, until it really sinks in.
Just trust and accept the fact that he's happy and he's there for you, 110%!!
If he wasn't happy, he would have left you, or he would have reacted in a way that was obvious to you that he didn't care. But this guy sounds like he's caring, affectionate, and dedicated to being a great father. Leave it at that, and be thankful you have such a loving, and devoted hubby who is there for you, when a lot of men step away from their responsibilities!
2007-03-07 01:11:09 · answer #3 · answered by argamedius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably looking at the big picture...what if she leaves me too? What if I don't meet her expectations just like the last guy? Don't be too hard on him.
My sweetheart didn't get all gleeful about every little kick...and it wasn't until he held our little man in his arms that his daddy sense kicked in.
And some daddys get funny about their newborn babies. My brother was so scared that his little guy was going to break apart in his hands! It seems silly to a mom, but it was real for him. It was when my bro started noticing the baby interacting with him that he got really attatched.
Don't panic. Most men are willing to do ANYTHING to provide stability to their families. I think it's up to us girls to step up and provide stability...mommy-style.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger has some really great advice in her book "The Care and Feeding of Husbands". It's a great read and it gave me a new outlook on my marriage.
Congrats on the new baby.
2007-03-07 02:04:19 · answer #4 · answered by Fotomama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, stop looking for signs and stop asking him about it and pressing him about it. I mean if you ask him about it all the time obviously he is going to say something about it and that isn't the way it is supposed to be as you said it doesn't count.
If you look for something hard enough your going to imagine something just to ease your mind because you so want to convince yourself that this time the mistake is different from the last mistake....when i say mistake i don't mean the baby dear... i just mean the situation you got yourself into.
You know it may not be that he isn't excited about being a father so much as he isn't excited about the situation he put ya'll into. I meah he may be thinking about the whole picture such as how is he going to not only support his and your biological child but also support ya all's other kids from your other man? I mean as you said he steps up to them too so technically he is like a step daddy to them as well. You have to realize the tremendous responsibility he is already in and now the one he is also going to be in.
Trust me it is hard to be excited about something, even when it is that special, when you are going over the reality of it financially in your head. Unless you are financially stable and he has none of that to worry about? Are you? I mean is that not an issue here?
If he is over being scared as he says, well i mean from my experience guys just aren't into the whole baby buying thing as girls hon. It isn't as exciting for them. I mean yeah, they might like to hear the heartbeat with you when you go in for visits to the doctor if he is able to go and feel the baby move in your tummy and stuff and when the baby comes he will be more excited to participate. But during your pregnancy as far as all the hoopla? I wouldn't expect all that much! Except maybe in the bedroom ; )
2007-03-07 01:20:06 · answer #5 · answered by LM 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are you worried about for gawd sake - if he is still there - he is interested!!!
This guy is rubbing your back and cooking for you and pampering you the best way he knows how - WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT??????????????????????????????
What WILL send him running is your doubts about him.....
Look, if he is gonna run he will run. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can ever do to stop him. It may not happen today or tomorrow or the next day, why not just enjoy what you have now and make the most of being pampered!!!!!!!!!!
What will be will be. Just focus on your baby - that will give you the most pleasure of all. And remember, men are from Mars they do all things differently to us normal people.....
2007-03-07 01:25:20 · answer #6 · answered by Pooroldpossum 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably going to be more excited about the baby because he or she will be growing inside of you. Right now, nothing is showing. Don't panic. You sound like you're in a healthy, stable relationship with a nice man. :) Congrats on him and the baby.
2007-03-07 01:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by Ask Aunt Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry he'll get excited soon,right now he's thinking about the resposibility part of it,as soon as he feels the baby moving he'll change.Congratulations!
2007-03-07 01:21:15 · answer #8 · answered by Georgewasmyfavorite 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just scared, you say that you have other kids, it's not easy to have a lot of kids these days. Maybe that,s all it is, so give him time digest this.
2007-03-12 22:33:22 · answer #9 · answered by teresita 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry he isn't acting the way you wish he would. That is more than likely to change once your child is born. Congratulations.
2007-03-07 04:25:22 · answer #10 · answered by autumn leaf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's there isn't he????
Let him know when your appts are.. and make sure that you make them when it's possible for him to make them.. if he wants to come he will.. all he has to see is the sonogram.. it will become real.
2007-03-12 15:01:08 · answer #11 · answered by larsgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋