i knew when i first saw you
something in me clicked
your eyes a beauty blue
andmy eyelashes flicked
the softness of your lips
the color of your skin
the way you move your hips
i knew there was no twin
i want you with me now
close by my side
your eyes say wow
they make me blind
i want to kiss your neck
the sweet smell of your axe
don't give me just a peck
now show me you can flex
i'm closing this poem with
nothing but a dream
i hope that you will twitch
when you think of this as cream!!!
so, what do you think?? i made it myself. and be honest, now!!!!
2007-03-06 16:59:29 · 4 answers · asked by u_no_u_want_me_boyzz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its not a great poem, the guy who says its like rap is right. It would make a pretty cute rap but as far as poetry goes, thats just not poetry. The rhyming is forced and unneccesary. Its too cute, it could give you a toothache! Its not meaningful on an emotional level, but only on a the surface. And I don't get the end, what does poetry have to do with cream?
2007-03-10 15:24:18 · answer #1 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. Not good but not bad either..
It has rhymes which make your poem sounds like a rap.
But those rhymes don't make your poem beautiful.
To make a beautiful poem, beautiful words and meaningful messages are essential. Rhymes could be ignored sometimes.
2007-03-07 01:15:04 · answer #2 · answered by 77741210 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a really good poem!! Seriously!! Man, why couldn't I make a poem like that.T_T Anyway, it really good!
2007-03-07 01:06:11 · answer #3 · answered by Mgina 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hehe how sweet but how old are you???!!!
2007-03-07 01:05:10 · answer #4 · answered by Nat555 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋