How much can I take?

Question

I am in a relationship with the most wonderful girl. I love her SO MUCH. There is no way I could ever leave her for any reason. But she is constantly and I mean constantly telling me about things I need to change about myself. Granted some of t can help me in life too, but it's frustrating and kind of hurts basically being told I'm not good enough everyday? What can I do, WITHOUT LEAVING HER OR HURTING HER

Answer 1

How about you show her this question, and read the answers together. My advice is to be totally honest with her, and tell her you're being hurt by her lack of sensitivity over this matter. No-one wants to constantly be criticised by the one they love. Good luck.

Answer 2

Explain to her exactly how you feel without using the YOU word. For example: I would like to work on some of the things that might make our relationship better, but sometimes I get so frustrated by the demands of life and trying hard to be the man I am supposed to be. I really do love you and I can't possibly change everything that you might be unhappy with, but am willing to work on the things that are the most important helping this relationship stay alive. What are the two most important things that can be immediately done to help us have a better understanding and respect for each other? OK. I promise to do my best (and really mean it). I however need you to be more supportive and give me time to work on these things, but I assure you that these are things that can be done because I value you in my life and if these things are important to us being together, I must treat them as such.

Answer 3

O.K. wait a second... Don't change who you are for anyone. Is jeopardizing who you are as an individual and losing track of yourself, all you are, and all you stand for, worth being with someone who you think you love but who is hurting you emotionally? If she is just saying things like "You need to trim your finger nails..." that is one thing. But if she is like "Ya know, you would look better if you had those moles removed, and maybe cut your hair and changed your style"... then skip her!

You could try telling her that you want to talk to her about something but are worried about how she will take it. Then just tell her that when she criticizes you it makes you feel like you are not good enough for her and you're not down with being changed in those ways. That she doesn't really love "YOU" but the person she is hoping to turn you into. Let it ride out from there.

I don't understand why people are so worried about upsetting someone who is hurting them, and so worried about losing someone who makes you feel sad. There is someone out there who will love you to death for all of you, and won't try to change anything about you, but will want even more of what you are. Both inside and out. Do not compromise yourself, ever!

Answer 4

You need to change... if you were a carpenter you would know how to bring the wood tree in to a beautiful article... you need to shapen them you are come up with a good article without hurting it right... that's what she is doing.... She is trying to shapen you in to a nice person which is going to help you!!!
take her suggestion she is doing it for your good will....
She is really bothered about you that's why.... don't get frustrated every one is not perfect but we need to see what is wrong in us and need ti rectify that and you have got someone to guide you... you need to be happy about it
Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

first of all you should not have to change for anyone,if she can
accept you for who you are then you dont need to be with her.
the problem is that you are thinking about her feeling, the problem
is that she does not care about your. you deserve someone that'
will appreciate your qualtiies as they are. dont change for any
one. AND IF YOU WANT MY THOUGHTS SHE NOT GOOD
ENOUGH FOR YOU.