Should I call him?/Let him go?

Question

My x-boyfriend and I dated for about three years (with one break up mixed in). We generally had a very loving, caring, supportive relationship, but he never fully committed to the relationship. He broke it off the first time, and then 8 months later, I took him back. Several months ago (shortly after it started to get serious again), he started saying that he was having doubts. While he was giving lots of positive signals (buying me gifts, spending lots of time with me, bringing me into his family), a week ago he told me he wanted to date other people and admitted that there was s/o that he was interested in, but that they hadn't kissed/started dating! I told him to "have a nice life and not to come crawling back when it didn't work with her." That was a week ago, and I haven't heard from him since. It's still hard for me to accept that he is willing to let me walk away without even calling or having an in person conversation after all we have been through together. Any thoughts?

Answer 1

bummer....keep in mind you want someone who WANTS YOU!!. Someone who will tell you that he cant think of the possibility of living his life without you....You want someone who wants you for sure....for ever.

Answer 2

KC, I would let him go. You may have had a great relationship before all of that, but when someone starts to doubt the relationship, it is time to let go. If he let you walk away that easily, he probably did not value the relationship the same way you did. If he did, he would be a little bit more concerned about what happens to you guys. Also, if you let him go off and have a fling with another woman and it doesn't work for him, you taking him back gives him the green light to continue to do it. You already did it once and it was probably pretty hard to go through the break up the first time right? You doing that is telling him you are his safety net. Don't be that for him. In a case like this, you need to look out for yourself. I hope all works out well for you and that which ever you decide to do, it is the right choice.

Answer 3

I know it would be hard for you but it sounds like you'll have to let him go. You say that when it get serious he starts having doubts. If you keep letting him come back then he's just going to keep coming and going whenever he feels like dating someone else. He may have feelings for you but it's not fair to you when he keeps treating you this way. Give yourself time before you start dating someone else since you still have feelings for him, but the next time you do start dating, find someone that is willing to make the relationship work. Hang out with your friends or just keep yourself busy doing something you love. But do not call him. That would just show that you're waiting around for him and that is just what he's going to expect from you and it will make you look bad. The next time he comes crawling back tell him that you're through with his makeup-breakup routine and that you deserve someone better. Hope it helps.

Answer 4

I think you're having a hard time letting go of this relationship. But, it is over and you will only hurt yourself more the longer you try to get it back. I think being in this relationship where it seems (at least at the end of it) there was not much love, you have lost a lot of confidence in yourself.
It sounds to me like this is a pretty decent guy and he didn't want to hurt you but his heart just wasn't in it. Don't feel bad about that though, because you can just realise that you are a cool person who deserves a lot of love...but just with someone who you really love and who loves you back 100%
good luck

Answer 5

Let it go. It wasn't what you hoped it was. Sorry. You're better off without him though. Never take him back again. After all you've been through, you're his second choice. And if it was real, this wouldn't be happening. There are deeper reasons for the breakup, which you may or may not figure out with time, but in time, it wont matter too much anyway.

Answer 6

The truth is if he was never fully committed; he may never be fully committed! Ask yourself this question; "How much RESPECT do I deserve". What you should do is go and find yourself; discover who you are and stop worrying about his tired ***!! And when he comes back to you, you can decide if you want him or not!! A woman should always be the one to make that decision; no matter how bad you want the guy! You don't want a spineless man and no man wants a spineless woman.

Answer 7

Oh Puleeze get off the rollercoaster and dump this guy Why would you want to call him My thoughts? He is willing to drop you when he has something better to go to and you let him pick you up and then drop you and you will still take him back. He doesn't have to treat you right and you have proved that. Stop selling yourself short and get this guy out of your life for good.

Answer 8

You need to accept reality it sounds like. He sounds a little commitment phobic to me. Either that, or he's just keeping on the back burner while he pursues other girls. He can't make up his mind what he wants. If I were you, I'd let him go...for good.

Answer 9

Let him go. He is just worried about being lonely and doesn't want to be by himself. If you do decide to give him another chance though, make sure he knows that it is the last time you will be doing this.

Answer 10

Your situation sounds similiar to what mine was, except my boyfriend - now husband, didn't have another lined up.
I kept taking my boyfriend at the time back, because I loved him. He just needed time to figure out his feelings.
If you don't hear from him in another.....month give him up. Find someone who knows what they want.

Answer 11

He seems uncommitted to you. He seems to be interested in others, and if it doesn't work out, then maybe you're fine until he finds someone better. I think you probably deserve someone who's totally into you and just let him go.