ADD & ADHD in toddlers?

Question

My son's school keeps sending home information insisting that my 3yr old has ADD or ADHD because he dont like to sit still and dont like to pay attention to her or to most of the rules and he likes to hit, pinch and bite the other kids, I think that its inappropraite for him to be acting like that at school but my son has never really sat still since he could crawl, but I also feel that its typical toddler behavior but they keep wanting me to get him tested for ADD or ADHD and the drs said that they wont until he is 4yrs old, I am really getting tired of there letters insisting that he is and wanting people from the school to come into the home and stuff like that and I am just really tired of it! what do you think? he is 3yrs old and in his 1st year of preschool (headstart)

please dont answer I dont know, if you dont know dont answer
Thanks

Answer 1

Hi! as a preschool teacher and director and now owner of a family home daycare with a degree in early childhood education i am wondering what qualifies these teachers to give a diagnoses of ADD or ADHD to anyone? A lot of little boys don't like sitting still and listing for a period of time and it can be true with girls as well but boys usually have a lot of energy to burn! now as for the hitting ,pinching and biting that is very serious stuff and he needs to stop and you need to work on this with him! it sounds to me that his teachers are probably tired of dealing with him hurting others and then with his not sitting are looking for a quick fix and are throwing out there ADD so that he can get "fixed" as a teacher i can tell you i could handle children who did not want to sit fine! did not want to clean fine! did not want to share fine! but violent or hurtful children where the hardest and mostly because you end up with a victim who has parents who are now wondering what your doing about the child who keeps hurting everyone! so i would start there and work on those problems! I would request a meeting with his teacher and the director or who ever is in charge and explain to them what your doctor has said about not doing anything till he is 4 also if you can work in his class see if you can see how he is doing and see where his teacher maybe at with her frustration level tell them you are willing to address the problems you can which for now is his behavior since you have to wait till he is 4 for the help from the doctor and work with them from there begin explaining to him that if he continues hurting his friends he wont be able to go to school anymore and start a consistent discipline plan with his teacher this also lets her know you care and are trying to work with her! good luck!

Answer 2

First of all he is too young to be tested right now, however, he if he want sit still and is hitting kicking and biting, there is something up there. But it may be their disipline methods. Does he act this way at home? Most ADD or ADHD children will act better in public than at home. I would surprise them by popping in and viewing him you can do that you know, you just make sure you sign in, and the teacher does not have to see you pop in. If she is over reacting to his anger, getting frustrated that sort of thing he is probably feeding off of it and acting even worse.

Now here is the biggy thing. They have no right to tell you to have your child tested, and they can only reject him if the behavior continues. So you tell them that you will get your child tested at the appropriate time, and in the mean time you need to work together on strategies to help discipline him in an appropriate manner.

Also even if he is ADHD, that does not mean that you have to put him on medication, these medications can be potentialy harmful. They cannot even suggest it because they are not medical doctors and you need to let them know that. In a very kind way as you can.

Hang in there, and I am sorry that you are going through this, go with your mother instincts on this. An aggressive hyper child does not always mean adhd. Sometimes it is just the discipline approach.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to tell you this, but I took legal custody of my 3 grandsons in 2002. My youngest was 2 at the time. When he turned 3, he was kicked out of a child care center. This was after me being told constantly that he was being mean to other children, not behaving well, kicking over bookcases, etc.

Then when he started Headstart, he carried out the same type of behaviors, and I was getting the same phone calls from the school, etc.

I got him into a child psychiatrist. It wasn't easy as they don't like to take children that young. Anyway, he was diagnosed with ADHD and also ODD, which stands for Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

ODD was explained to me as if it is the behavior like a tired 2 year old. There is no cure for it, only behavior modification with the child and the family.

The doctor did give him Adderall XR for the ADHD which made a huge improvement in his behavior around other children and in the classroom. The Adderall XR is a long acting pill and doesn't wear off until around the time school gets out for the day.

He is 7 years old now, and he is doing much, much better.

Good Luck, dear ----there is hope for you and your child.

Answer 4

My son had the same problem, The school wanted to send people to my home saying that it was my fault he acts this way. He was tested, and my son is ADHD. I got the same letters. What i did was have the doctor write me a letter stating that my son was to young for tests, gave it to the schools. Then I got a second opinion, and this doctor did test my son at 3 years old, mostly question for me and the school to answer. but would not medicate him till he was 5 years old. San Diego, Ca had a good program, but we moved to Hemet, CA terrible school system. They kept putting our son in with retarded kids. No more of that. I home School him now, don't have to worry about complaints from schools and I know how to control my sons ADHD. And he learns better in a controlled environment. What you can also do, is call your school district and ask for a I.E.P (Individualized Education Program). You need to start now, before learning ability suffers, because they can't sit still for long periods of time. Find answers about ADHD at: ADHDSupport .com

Answer 5

All children are overactive at 3 years old but the school would not continue to bother you with this unless he was truly causing problems at school. My sister was three when she was tested for add so you should be able to find a good doctor. Have you had a conference with the teachers at school to try and figure out the problem? it is very important to find out while he is still young if he is hyperactive or if this is just a stage hes going through so that he can avoid problems in school and other social situations

Answer 6

He sounds hyper. There's some things you should do first before worrying about ADD. First is to make sure he's not taking in too much sugar, because that sends kids flying. If he's sneaking chocolate or soda at school then that could account for a lot of his behaviour. Also I wouldn't be surprised if a school that's medication heavy is disguising unhealthy eating habits, as in they could be serving your kid sugar-loaded goodies then expecting him to sit still.

Also make sure he doesn't watch too much tv, I realize this sounds odd for a 3 year old, but tv basically makes the brain work faster, and then when the world isn't going as fast as the brain, you get a lower attention span. Lowering amounts of tv watched will help greatly if that's the case.

Answer 7

At three any child that wasn't over active would worry me. The hitting, biting and pinching does need addressed, but not sitting still, is being 3 years old. You may consider sitting in for a few hours one day and observe for yourself what is going on. After that maybe contact the state and make a complaint. Also, start looking into other providers or schools.

Answer 8

hes to young to know yet. i dint find out i had add intill about 1st grade what toddler whats to sit still in a chair. i would get a letter from ur dr saying wont test for add/adhd till 4, if school says anything about that then find another school for him. the bitting and other stuff dont have nothing to do with add/adhd. maybe the other kids are doing something to him? check into that. but best of luck to ya!

Answer 9

I have Adhd. I believe your son to be a typical toddler. I think 3 years old is too young for head start, is there another preschool that you can send him to if he has to go? Take the letter from your doctor to the school or better yet, see if there is any legal recourse you can take, because you are being harrassed.

Answer 10

Get written documentation from your doctor stating exactly what was said about not testing until he is 4. Then leave it up to the school to decide what course of action they plan to take, but make it clear to them that you want no more letters coming to your home.