My boyfriend is like bipolar or something. We live together, for almost a year now, we have a GREAT relationship, compared to most of our friends relationships we are very stable, hardly fight, i am not jealous, i let him do his thing, and i do mine, however when we DO get into fights, he always throws in the towel so to speak- he yells at me, he says he cant stand me anymore, he says he hates this relationship, so i pack up my stuff, get ready to move out, then he wants me to stay, says he cant live without me! i am SO confused, he did it again today! Why is he ready to quit on it so faast? why doesnt he realize how good he has it?
2007-03-06 15:35:20 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's awfully immature isn't he. He has very little to draw on when he's involved in an argument, so he plays the only card that he thinks will crush you into submission. The "It's Over" card. But instead of falling on your knees & begging him not to throw you out, you say "OK I'll start packing then".
GOOD FOR YOU!!!
He knows how good he has it. That's why he does an about face when you call his bluff & get ready to leave.
He isn't bipolar, he's just a lousy communicator.
Sit down with him & explain that if he wants to make a point with you he doesn't have to make threats.
Set the boundary with him that he needs to stop with the "I hate this relationship" talk or you WILL leave him for good.
Ask him to do whatever he needs to do to improve his communication skills.
He blows up like that because he feels like he isn't being heard, & he gets frustrated.
If you reflect back what he is saying to you in your own words he will know that you heard what he said. Repeating what he said, & acknowledging that you understand doesn't necessarily mean that you are agreeing with him, but it can go a long way to diffusing his frustration. ;-)
2007-03-06 15:56:52 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. He realizes it. What you have here is a classic case of manipulation. My husband does it too, but not as much as he used to. He knows how much the relationship means to you, so he uses the threat of separation to try to get what he wants from you. Just tell him you want a more stable relationship than he is willing to provide, pack your stuff and go spend a week with a friend. If he comes after you, you can probably go back to the relationship and get him to ask appropriately for what he wants. If he doesn't, he's a spoiled little brat who can manipulate his next girlfriend and leave you out of it.Just call his bluff. Good luck.
2007-03-06 23:47:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl they don't realize who or what they have until its gone. So the next time he gets the talkin that mean talk (he hate you and cant stand you) pack yo bags and leave. At least really play it off like your done with him (so leave for a while), so he can sit and think about it and see how it feels to be alone with out his babe! If he keeps it up months down the line, then let it go for good. No one deserves to be talked to that way. I'm sorry.
2007-03-06 23:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by BE HAPPY! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time you should really leave. That will be his wake up call into realizing what he had when your not around. Until then, he will continue to play this imature game because he knows he can.
2007-03-06 23:40:45 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no guy relizes how good he has it. they only relize it as soon as it is out of reach. dump him, then make him jealous. my ex did it to me, and now i am head over heels in love with him!!!! (he doesn't even know it yet)
2007-03-06 23:40:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
since he stops u leaving each time it means that he does know how good he has it.
2007-03-06 23:39:04 · answer #6 · answered by Nanook~Maybe I need a longer Name?~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a man that's why he does it and doesn't realize how good he has it. unless you make him chnage he never will on his own
2007-03-06 23:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by Clover24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he likes you n he wants you but sometimes he just get really angry :(
things he doesn't mean to n maybe he sees someone else in you when he is angry :(
2007-03-06 23:46:32 · answer #8 · answered by Janet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to being in a relationship!!!!!!
2007-03-06 23:40:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋