My grandparents are driving 9 hours to come to our wedding. This is a big deal based on the fact that I've seen my grandmother twice in the past 6 years, my grandfather once (he has cancer). They've never been super invovled in my life due to the distance, so it's a big deal to me that they are actually coming into town.
That said, my grandmother mentioned she'd like to see everyone the night of the rehearsal. I won't be able to see them before since I live out of the town (it's my hometown, closer to my fiance's as well), so we won' t be in until the rehearsal. Even though my grandparents are not in the wedding, I thought it was proper to allow out of state guest attend. My fiance's dad is perfectly fine with this, but his mother doesn't think it's "proper" to invite someone not in the wedding. The money isn't a factor, we actually have no wedding party, so right now it's just us, our parents, & his sister, who is not in the wedding either. Have I been wrong all this time?
2007-03-06 15:35:02 · 16 answers · asked by layla983 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are not wrong. Considering the circumstances, it is absolutely proper to invite your grandparents. I think it would be improper not to invite them, not to mention that it would probably hurt their feelings if they were not invited, Especially since your grandmother said she would like to see everyone that night. I think you should invite them and that way you will have no regrets. Sounds like your future mother in law has issues.
2007-03-06 15:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by abbacat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rehearsal should be limited to members of the wedding party, parents, grandparents, and other family and friends who have a role in the wedding. Having too many people not involved typically adds to confusion and makes coordinating the rehearsal more difficult.
But the rehearsal dinner can include any family and friends you would like to attend in addition to those involved in the wedding. Some hosts choose to extend invitations to the rehearsal dinner to additional close family and friends as well as out of town guests not involved in the wedding. But if your fiance's parents are hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner then they can limit the guest list if they so choose. I would recommend the four of you sit down to finalize who should be included. In the event that adding additional guests to the rehearsal dinner is not an option, you can always host a wedding breakfast or brunch the next day following the wedding so everyone can spend more time together.
2007-03-06 23:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not!!! You are right, invite your grandparents. Listen to yourself. You've seen them twice in 6 yrs. They are driving all that way to see you for a few minutes on your wedding day when there are lots of other people around. I have always seen parents and grandparents at the rehearsal. They are immediate family!!!! Remember you are the bride!!!! It's done your way! Do what u feel in ur heart. Don't have regrets years later. What would it hurt if they went if $$ isn't a worry. Take them enjoy!! Ur fiances mom will just have to understand! or bite her tongue. Either way you should include your GRANDPARENTS!!!!
2007-03-07 08:58:23 · answer #3 · answered by tiger4mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with your Grandparents being there. OMG Doesn't she have any heart. If her sons grandparents would want to come she would actually say no? OH well you do what you want its not her wedding its yours. At my wedding rehearsal all of my out of town relatives will be there for sure. Think about it where will the be or who will they be with the night before the wedding? Dont you think they would at least like to spend some time with you before the wedding. they did take a long trip to make it. Good Luck with your future mother in law.
2007-03-06 23:58:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
We had both of our parents, all of the bridal party, including their spouses (and children if they had them), all of th kids in the wedding and their families, his grandparents. We also invited our aunts and uncles and any friends that we wanted to be there also. They weren't all at our rehersal, but were invited. They joined us for the dinner afterwards. It was a great chance for our families to get to know each other better, and it made them feel incuded in the festivities!
Proper or not, it's your wedding and you get to do what you want to do!
However, for the proper formality, I still believe it is proper to invite family members and your out of town guests!
Every rehearsal dinner we have been to, included LOTS of people-family and friends!
Good luck and congrats!
I would suggest speaking with your soon to be MIL and explaining why it is a big deal to you to have your grandparents there! If you don't feel comfortable with that, have your soon to be hubby talk to her and let her know how the two of you feel!
2007-03-07 00:15:15 · answer #5 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong...FAMILY Is always at the rehearsal dinner, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents...anyone who is GOING to the wedding should be at the family party the night before. Whether they're in the wedding party itself or not...
(your future MIL is WRONG....and I bet she's going to make it a point to be RIGHT throughout your marriage...so put your foot down NOW...)
Congratulations and good luck !!! [[[ ]]]
(sorry about your grandfather...I hope you have a great visit with him...and don't forget to say goodbye...before it's too late)
2007-03-06 23:42:43 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Proper ettiquite dictates that out of town guests and wedding party members, as well as immediate family are supposed to attend the rehersal dinner. So, according to ettiquite, it is completely proper. Some people deviate from this because of cost, and newer traditions, but ultimately it should be up to you who is invited to the rehersal dinner. Go ahead and invite them, it's your wedding, your decision! Good luck, and Congratulations on your impending nuptuals!
2007-03-07 00:11:16 · answer #7 · answered by greengenes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you want your out of town grandparents to attend the rehersal dinner that is not only fine it is more than appropriate. If that woman is going to be so crass as to be a stickler for what is correct she should at least have her facts straight. You can have who ever you want at the rehersal dinner. I have been to those that are very small and intimate or family only to others that nearly rivaled the reception itself so you do what you want and tell Mrs Emily Post to take a chill pill
2007-03-07 00:09:00 · answer #8 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO you are not wrong. Invite whoever you want, this is your wedding, invite your grandparents, they will feel very special and you will be excited to have them a part of this. My grandparents are not around anymore and It would have been my dream to have them be at the rehearsel and my wedding in july
2007-03-06 23:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by shelly63795 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding and your grandparents and your life.. The he!! with what's proper. It would be down right rude not to invite Your grandparents.. And just to let you know this is your future MIL you have to let her know that you do things your way from day one.. Good Luck and congrats..
2007-03-06 23:41:15 · answer #10 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋