OKay, I have this guy friend. STRICTLY friends. Well last weekend, we got drunk and had what he called "casual sex". Today I had to see him at school for the first time since it happened. And I couldn't even look at him. For him it was like it didn't even phase him. How can guys not give this any thought? How come it was so awquard for me?
2007-03-06 15:27:14 · 32 answers · asked by brunettebabe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Both men and women compartmentalize. All of us have the ability to separate love and sex, though society give men more "permission" to openly do so.
It's why people drink too. It gives them "permission" to do what they wanted to do anyway, but have an excuse or scapegoat afterward.
What is more important than the awkwardness is that you and he are being safe. Getting drunk is NO excuse to use safe measures to minimize your risk of contracting an STD or pregnancy.
Don't feel bad. You're just being human. Sex transcends sexual identity. Just keep in mind that your body is a temple. Be selective about who you let into it, or what substances you pour into it.
Good Luck,
Brian Norris
www.positively.biz
2007-03-06 15:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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Lots of men assume that to satisfy women, you have to get a huge effort straight into romancing the ladies. For most women this is legitimate. But the great news for guys who're not looking for relationships and want casual sex along with women is this: many women think exactly do.
Maybe it has something regarding the increased sexualization involving western society, but modern women are definitely more assertive about expressing the sexuality, and are happy to stand up and point out "I like sex, I'd like sex, and I am going to get sex! " Not that lots of years ago, a woman who claimed anything remotely as open as that could have been branded a slut plus a whore. The fact is actually, they would have been recently too scared to speech their desires about sexual intercourse. But today it's much different - and far better!
2014-06-02 09:25:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can ask you about women. How can women do it? I have had & heard many women especially girls I like or exs even talk about how guys do this or that & always tieing it to sex & how the guy changes after he gets it which is often true because again often times thats just what a guy wants. So if a woman wants a relationship or a guy who will stay around & be a friend too then why does she often give in so quick. Make a guy work for it & earn your passion. I will never understand women & another similar confusion regarding women is don't they know its easier to spice up a nice guy then to try & tame a bad boy.... Guys especially the bad boys don't care about anything but sex & how many they can nail or if you get hurt theirs more fish should you leave. If you dont like casual sex dont do it make a guy work for it because again once a guy has sex theirs not much else to work for so you have to build the bonds before you get there if you want it to work if not then you're asking for it especially when you jump in with a bad boy type. I will never understand....
2007-03-06 15:37:10 · answer #3 · answered by bpeter3196 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same way some women do.....
Well, it sounds as if you had more than casual feelings for him, and thats why its so ackward for you...also, you may not be one of those type girls that can give herself to someone, alcohol involved or not, and not expect a relationship afterwards....
The thing about casual sex, there is no strings attached. Its a release valve....used by many. See, what you need to realise is that woman and men "sometimes" both have different views on sex. Women equate sex equals love, and men equate sex with sex.
I'm not saying that all men and women view sex this way, but for the majority they do. Thats what causes awkward feelings, and hurt feelings....
The things you also need to ask yourself is this...
1. Would this have happend if alcohol wasn't involved?
2. In your statement, you stated..."STRICTLY friends..", if thats the case, then why is this bothering you so much?
You always have to think before you act....whether alcohol is involved or not. You placed yourself in this position when you had sex with him...and honestly, you probably shouldn't feel awkward, or expect anything else...except maybe a repeat.
2007-03-06 15:36:13 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not the only one who had casual sex,you also had casual sex,because you slept with someone who's strictly "your friend" and now your wondering why hes acting like its "no big deal" because to him it is exactly that "no big deal"Iam not going to sugar coat this one for you,it takes two to tango and you were one of the two.Were you expecting it to turn into something else besides a friendship?You need to grow up,and forget about an intimate relationship with anyone until your old enough to communicate with your partner on a sober level what your expectations are after the two of you are intimate.Or you can repeat this behavior over and over again and continue to ruin your self esteem and have hurt feelings...repeatedly.
2007-03-06 15:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by FYIIM1KO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was awkward for you because you directly associate sex with love and are probably embarrassed about what you did and/or hurt that he still just wants to be friends. Girls sometimes have sex without romantic love, too, though, so it is really not just a guy thing. Chalk it up as a learning experience and, if this hurts you, don't let it happen again. Also, it's stupid to drink while you're still in school. Don't do it again!
2007-03-06 15:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know the answer to this question. I wish I did, it comes up so often. Somehow this seems to be buried deep in the psyche form the ancient past. Perhaps humans were not so monogamous then and just had chance encounters. But I think it has something to do with the length of pregnancy and the child rearing years. Women have built in nurturing and goodness knows children do not really become independent until some where near puberty. They cannot survive with the nurturing, ergo mothers tend to stay around. Fathers tend to wander and often not needed.
2007-03-06 15:29:35 · answer #7 · answered by bigjohn B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just men who do this might I add women do the same thing having casual sex.
There should be no reason for you to feel awkward about having sex with him because you knew what yo were doing. Maybe he's feeling the same way but just shows it in a different way.
Besides what was he supposed to do? It's cool you have nothing to worry about.
2007-03-06 15:33:21 · answer #8 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys look at sex in a mechanical way like "in-out-in-out- climax-done deal" They don't get the romantic side of life unless they read a book like "how to feel" or some thing like that.
I'm a guy and i don't have many male Friends just for that reason.
I don't get guys either maybe I'm a lesbian in a guys body?
2007-03-06 15:42:16 · answer #9 · answered by shango 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are all for sex anywhere anytime with nearly anyone and they are the inventers of friends with benefits!
Girls are more likely to have sex due to emotional feelings towards someone.
This of course is being very general, as each individual is different. And some females love fwb and some guys need the emotional attachment.
2007-03-06 15:31:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋