When do I tell my toddler he's getting a baby brother/sister?

Question

My little boy has had me to himself for 2 1/2 years and gets pretty upset when he can't have my attention.
When (and how) do I tell him about the new baby (not due until Sept./Oct.), and what can I do to make the transition easier for him?

Oh! One more thing ... Do you think it's better to find out the sex of the baby, to help make it more real for him and give him more of an idea what to expect? (I'd prefer a surprise.)

Answer 1

tell him as soon as you are past the first trimester and start by getting him as excited as you are about the prospect of a new baby in the house! have him talk to the baby in your belly and pump him up about the fact he's going to be a big brother and your helper. involve him in all the new baby "prep work" and even let him pick out a stuffed animal or toy just for the new baby. there's some wonderful books out there you could read with him, but bear in mind chances are he's still going to be jealous, try and include him(as much as possible) in the daily care of your newborn and take extra time to just spend with him so he knows he's still your "little boy" and he's special. hope this helps and good luck :)

Answer 2

I really think is best to tell them as soon as possible, so they can adjust to the fact that they will have to share you from now on.
Explain that he gets to be a big brother and that is a great thing. Get him involved. Take him to Dr's appointments, ultraosunds. Helping with choosing baby stuff. Show him photo's of himself as a baby and while you were pregnant with him. Buy books about big brothers and new babies. Buy a doll for him and teach him how to hold the baby and wrap it and change nappies and bathe it. You should also hold the doll for a short amount of time each day so he can used to seeing you holding someone else.
Let him feel the baby move and kick. Also get a babies devopment book, that illustrates the growing fetus. So you can show your son how big baby is at each month.
Take him out shopping to buy the baby a present for hospital. And also have a present from the baby to his big brother.

My daughter was very involved through out my pregnancy (she was about one and a half) and had no problem adjusting to her new sister. She was very proud she had such a great task as being a big sister. My Dr would let her help measure my fundal height and use the heart thingy to listen to the babies heartbeat. She loved doing these. She loved being able to see the baby on TV (ultrasound).She would lay her head on my belly every night and sing the baby a lullaby before she would fall asleep.
Once my daughter was born it was her job to choose babies outfit each day. I laid out a couple of weather appropriate clothes and let her choose from them. She helped bathe the baby, her job was washing legs and feet. She took it upon herself to notify me every time baby moved in her sleep, baby moved while awake any time the baby did anything. She barely left her sister's side for the first few months. She even changed babies nappies.
She was 2 years old when her sister was born and was an excellant big sister and still is.
Make sure you have a "special time" with the oldest after the baby is born. So he doesnt feel left out. This can be with you or Dad or even Nan or Pop. Just a certain time each week that is spent with him, making him feel special. No focusing on baby just him. When people come over to visit make sure they fuss over the big brother first so he doesnt feel left out or ignored.

And if you want a surprise that is fine. As then you can talk about what if its a girl or a boy and he can be excited as well.

Answer 3

Just tell him there is a baby in mommy's tummy and he will soon have a little brother or sister. At this age they do not totally understand what you are talking about as in he will be a big brother, he will understand when the baby gets here. To make things easier have him help you get ready for the new baby, ask him for his input on things. You can always ask about names for the baby like do you like the name Noah or Owen better. Also you can read books about being a big brother. Have fun and teach him what being a big brother is all about!

Answer 4

Show him photos of babies and babies with older brothers then let him touch your tummy when the baby is moving and tell him there is a baby there. My son was the same way, he had me all to himself all day. Although we talked to him constantly about the new baby and he would get all excited we thought "wow thisa is a breeze"....wrong! The day we brought the new baby home my son was all smiles "until "we showed him the baby. Right away he showed signs of frustration, the next few weeks were total frustration! When the baby would potty in his diaper one day my son was smacking him sayin "no no" he would walk by the baby and smack him and say "Marky don't like the baby" We had to buy a mesh crib for the baby so that my son couldn't poke things through on the baby. They are 31 yrs old and 29 years old now and My older son still doesn't like the younger one!But is great with the other 5 children.Good Luck!

Answer 5

Tell him as soon as possible. You can't have a baby just pop up. he has to have the chance to get used to the fact that another baby is coming just like you do. My little girl was the same age when I got pregnant with my son. She really enjoyed being a part of picking out new stuff for the baby. I also let her pick the color for his room. She loves her little brother very much. And I haven't had any problems with her adjusting with the new addition. She was at the hospital when he was born, They let her in as soon as he was cleaned off. This was the most magical moment I have shared with my children. Seeing them meet for the first time. You have to make a big deal about him getting to be a big brother.
This is a real honor for small children. It makes them feel special..

Answer 6

Well, I would start telling him now, and some places will let your child go in for the sono, although your husband will have to be present.

Get dolls and things and show him how you will care for the baby, try to get tapings of babies crying laughing and the whole nine yards so he can get the feel of how life is going to change.

When the baby is born let him help some and give him a doll to take care of his on. Let him do things like give you wipes and carry the dirty bagged up diaper to the trash. Show him how you pouder baby and dress baby and let him diminstrate on the the baby. Let him know that the baby is in your tummy, and let him talk to and pat your tummy as well. When the baby is kicking well enough to feel let him feel. When the baby comes refer the the baby as our baby and he is the big brother and he will do all the big brother things. I seriously don't think you will have a problem.

Now the big thing will be giving him the time he needs with you everyday. Set aside times made especially for him when the new baby will be asleep so that he can still feel special to you.

You do have enough love in your heart for both children, and your son will have enough love in him if you make this child real to him. It will be nice if he can come in for the sonogram and hear the babies heartbeat. My sister in law starting with the very first child and she has five, and they always demontrate the babies heart beat with their mouths, it was very special to her. Most places will allow that.

Hope this helps

Good luck

Answer 7

I would recommend starting to explain to him when you are about 5-6 months, or when you begin to show. Tell him there is a baby in the tummy. And explain that he is going to be a big brother. There are a lot of baby books out there that go into detail on how to transistion toddlers.

Answer 8

It's too early just yet.
At his age,he cannot conceptualize Sept./Oct., so maybe over the Summer you can start pointing out other babies, then pointing to your belly and telling him that a baby will be coming to be his sibling soon.
Don't overwhelm him with information, though; he's just a baby himself.
Good luck

Answer 9

my son is 22 months now he was 15 when i found out i told him right from the begining and he understood i phrased it like guess what your getting a baby i told him it was gonna grow in mommy's belly for a long time and he was/still is great and happy we'll see how that changes in 6 weeks but for now hes excited whenever we are in wal-mart and we see a baby i go see the baby you're getting one every morning a couple months ago hed wake up and kiss my belly now he trys to put noodles in my belly button and he puts his straw there for baby to drink anyways i would tell him right away you can tell him the babys gotta grow really big till it looks like your gonna pop and he'll probably take care of you i think the sooner the better kids are soo smart he'll figure it out if you don't

plus it gives him a chance to get excited me and my son play baby and mommy car and anything like that

Answer 10

We told our daugter who was about the same age, when she starting noticing I looked different. She was very excited, although she did not totally get it. At times she pretended she was also pregnant. Also we bought a present for the new baby to give to her at the hospital. We did not find out the sex, so the suprise was fun, but it was difficult at times for her.

Good luck! and congrats!