Co-dependency?

Question

Can someone please give me an example of this. Or the 'Enablers' role in a codependent relationship????

Answer 1

Co-dependency is kind of like people pleasing, you do things that really and truly if you stopped to think about it, you don't want to do or you do it because you expect something in return. Almost all of us are co-dependent in certain areas. But giver, nurturers, helpers, rescuers, all can be quite co-dependent. One sign is if you hate conflict, that creates a scenario where you would rather go along than disagree because it might cause conflict, even just verbal disagreement. If you want to learn more about it there are tons of books about it at amazon or in your library or just do a search on the net and there will be articles. It is NOT a good thing in healthy relationships

Answer 2

Here's an example:

J and K are neighbors. J has just moved into the area, and both have military husbands who are on deployment. Their friendship started when K, who had a home-daycare business, asked J to watch her two children when she went to her certifications class. Most times, J was available to watch the kids, but when she was not available K (who never asked because she assumed J was available all the time) would become angry and scream at her, then refuse to talk to her for days on end. J, who has always had difficulty saying no, would feel so guilty that she would apologize to K for not being available to babysit.

K also 'borrowed' J's cigarettes, but made J promise not to tell her husband that she was smoking, only doing so in J's garage and showing up 10+ times per day for a 'smoke break'. K would often just show up at J's house and get angry if she wasn't there. J, feeling that she had no other friends but K, would not only tolerate this behavior but ALLOW K to take advantage of her, knowing as she did so that she was enabling K's dominating and codependent behavior, because she felt isolated and lonely with her husband overseas.

These are actually two people I know; J is a friend of my husband's, K I want to punch every time I see her. On military bases, codependency between wives is actually encouraged (though I have no idea why) because husbands are gone for extended periods of time.

Answer 3

Example:

A drug addict and the person who pays for the drugs by giving the person money. The one who pays for the drugs is the enabler.

The mother and the son who stays at home and doesn't want to get a job even though he is through with school and old enough. The mother is the enabler.

Get it?

Answer 4

I'll give you an example of an enabler...

If you were with a guy and you let him stay in your house without paying for anything, or getting a job you are enabling him to help himself become a bigger and more successful person. :)

I have had to deal with being an enabler myself, boy have I heard this alot lol!

Answer 5

Acts like they can't even go to the bathroom without someone in there holding their hand. And the enabler will escort them to the bathroom and provide the toilet paper for them.

Answer 6

C0-Dependency is taking the initiative to do things on your own.Some enablers are very demanding,you don't want that.
Do things for yourself,thus tou are enabling yourself,This will make tou stronger too..

Answer 7

This is when YOU do something for someone that they can already do for themselves with them asking you to do it or they ask you and you continue to for them. Im in a co-depedant class

Answer 8

Hey girl2Woman, wife and mom, How's the family? Now yours is a question I really don't have a clue about. Could you elaborate.