What age is too old to put a harness on your child?

Question

My four year old, who will be five in April, is very active and too friendly in public. When we go out, she contiuously walks away to explore her world, spark up conversations with strangers and do just about what she pleases... It is rather embarressing as well as tedious because simple tasks, such as going to the store takes entirely too long. I love my daughter and she is a smart and intelligent kid. I would not say she is bad, just very busy and active. I am willing to accept any friendly advice.

Answer 1

She's definitely too old for a harness, but she is now old enough for the 'strangers' talk. It doesn't mean you have to scare her to death just that she should learn not to talk to anyone who will talk back. I've already started teaching my almost 3 year old that she shouldn't randomly walk over and strike up a conversation with someone that mommy hasn't said it is okay to talk to. She is very outgoing still and I don't tell her that "the mean man will take you away if you leave my side!" I think scare tactics are awful I just casually make it a rule and she already is fairly good about looking to me to make sure it's okay if someone comes up to talk to her. As for running around....you could try sending her on mini missions. My 2 year old can get items (unbreakable ones) off the shelf for me at the grocery store. Just find things to occupy her if you can.

Answer 2

I think going on five is a little old to have a harness on a child. This may be difficult, but I would just try to hold her hand the whole time. If you're at the grocery store, you could put her in the seat of the shopping cart so she doesn't run around. Or, if you can find a stroller that's not too small for her, you can try that. If none of these work, you can use a last resort and bribe her with candy or treats to stay with you at all times.

Answer 3

I'd say until she learns not to wander off. Her safety should come first. Maybe you could teach her in a VERY save environment not to walk away. There are other products out there too, one is an alarm, you have one part in your pocket, the kid has the other one attached. If the child gets a certain distance from you it sounds. I have my 2 year old on a harness for the same reason, I've had a few dirty looks but for the most part I think people understand its a safety thing. Good luck!

Answer 4

My almost 3 year old is the same. We have a harness but don't use it much because it causes problems, and has almost caused fights with strangers who can't keep opinions to themselves. But i have also had to leave the cart with my mother to chase her all the way from one end of the grocery store to the other....and with a bad ankle, I am not as fast as she so I would lose sight of her while in chase. And as a single parent there is not always somone else there to allow me to leave the cart and chase after her...my mother won't shop if she doesn't need to and I can't always wait until she needs to go....so I have found that I just make her be in a shopping cart...making use of the seat belts they now have...as tight as is comfy but stops her from standing or climbing out...and if we go somewhere that does not have carts....like the mall.....she is in the stroller. She fights and argues at first, but once she realizes that it is not the end of the world and she can still see everything, she sits back and relaxes...and I always know where she is.

Answer 5

Well it depends on where you are going. If you are taking a stroll in the park let your kid run free and have a good time. If you are in a crowded place like the mall or a grocery store you should keep your child nearby because you never know who is looking at him/her. If your child is between 4 and 7 they might need to be on a leash if they are craxy and wild,but that depends on how you raised them. If they are any older than that they should know what is expected of them and know that what they did or are doing is wrong, they should not have to be on a leash. If anything pick up a cart of something aqnd put them in there. Good Luck..

Answer 6

I think whatever makes you feel safe is FINE!!! It's embarrasing having people stare at you becuase such and old child has to be basically tied to you but hey, it's better than losing them!
My 3 yr old daughter (very soon to be 4) almost always sits in the top of the trolley when we go shopping because otherwise, GOD only knows where she would end up and who she'd be talking to. Children are far too trusting of strangers, you do whatever it takes to make you feel safe.

Another good option is let her push the trolley/carry the basket or bag, and give her a list of things she has to find for you. It keeps my little one interested and close to me for most shopping trips

Answer 7

My daughter does the same thing; she's 4 too. I'm not really for the leash idea, but my son is 6 and understands the "you have to stay with me" stuff, so I'm hoping she is getting closer to understanding the reasoning. One time she walked off and I spanked her (one quick slap on the butt) to bring her back to reality. I hope this helps, as a parent, you have to do what is right for you and all children are different and can require different solutions. Good luck!

Answer 8

My 5 year old is the same way, will crawl into anybodies lap. I don't harness him but explained to him that there's a time and place to do things that and you have to respect others personal space, and he's getting better about it don'tknow if this helps but at least you know your kid is normal

Answer 9

My daughter was very similar to that, she loved talking to anyone who would talk back. I never liked the idea of puting a harness on a child, it just made them seem like animals to me. I always just kept a close eye on her, and tried to keep her engaged in conversations so that she wouldn't feel the need to go talk to others.