please help me.im crying and dont know what to do.just read..?

Question

i dont know what to do..so heres kinda my story.im 16 and im dating this wonderful guy who is 18(senior and im a sophomore) most the time hes INCREDIBLE but days like today i dont know what to do...ill summarize

tonight we go play tennis and i got mad cause he was talking in between points which he yells at me for i told him to stop and he got mad at me and told me to stop being rude...so eventually i walk off the court and get in his car..im halfway out the car with the door open when he starts pulling off.i screamed are u an idiot and he claimed he clearly didnt see..which was nearly impossible.and told me not to call him an idiot. he asks me whats wrong with me and i say nothing,that hes just been annoying and he tells me stop being immature.he can be so rude to me and just a complete *** but im so in love with him.when we dont fight which is now often,its great.i dont wanna end this but i dont like being treated like dirt.he wont even answer my phone calls.what do i do?help!

Answer 1

This is start of an abuse - you give into this you will have tolerated some abusive behavior. You are no better but deserve better. Love is temporary insanity - we cannot think rationally when we are 'in love'. It's like a high that is so cool.

Answer 2

Is he going off to college next year? What if he goes to one far away? What happens to your relationdship then?

It is obvious that the two of you are not communicating on what is really bothering him...which may be what I mentioned above.

I dated a 16 year old who I eventually married 2 1/2 years later...and stayed married for 23 years...so I know what it is like to be in love with and have to deal with a 16 year old girl.

THere is a big difference between 16 and 18, even though it is only two chronological years. I was 18 1/2 myself. So, both you and he have a lot of maturing to do.

The first thing you need to do is stop with the name-calling. That is immature behavior at any age.

The next thing you need to do is to call a truce, and tell him that the two of you need to see a relationship counselor.

I know, you're thinking, "WTF?" but hear me out. It is next to impossible for the two of you to work out your communication issues -- and the deeper, underlying issues by yourselves.

The next thing I can tell you is love is NOT enough to make a relationship last. I don't care how much you love him, it cannot substitute for things like communication, compatibility, common interests, and so forth.

If you cannot find a counselor with whom to talk, then the two of you can talk to me online. It will have to be both of you and not just you. Just text the word "docrjp" to SAYNOW (729669) on your cellphone, and leave me a voice message.

If you love him that much, then you will do what is needed here.