Like I said good ones..I wont like Bad ones and you know what that means. NO
2007-03-06 13:29:44 · 15 answers · asked by ironknuckles05 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!
2007-03-06 13:32:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok this is just a HUGE list of quotes and junk i found in random places on the internet:
I'm not crazy...my reality is just different from yours
If at first you don't succeed....cheat...until you get caught...then lie
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty. What the hell happened to you?
Don't make me mad today. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
I told your boyfriend he's gay. He hit me with his purse.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.
Hey. I'm not here right now so leave a message and go play in traffic.
Mirrors can't talk and you're lucky they can't laugh either.
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
I can see your point but i still think you're full of ****.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like"Second Tall Man."
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Love is love, Love is you, i Love Love, so i Love you
I love you is Eight letters...so is Bull$hit.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I intend to live forever......so far, so good.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
All those who believe in psycho-kinesis, raise my hand.
Borrow money from pessimists -- They don't expect it back.
I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Everyone dies. But i wanna die for you.
if you cant fix it with duct tape then you haven't used enough.
i didn't lose my mind. I sold it on e-bay.
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.
I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun!
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
Always remember that you are unique. Just like everyone else.
If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
If you can not answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.
You laugh because i'm different; i laugh because you're all the same.
Guys are like people both blind and deaf; i cant ever understand them.
Welcome to the dark side, we no longer offer cookies.
2007-03-06 21:43:13 · answer #2 · answered by BleedingKiwi™ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
heeeres johnny -carson show
you're fired -apprentice
come on down -price is right
give me a minute ill come up with more
here are more
lucy! you got some splainin to do -i love lucy
I'm not a crook - nixon
yabba dabba do - flinstones
i'm rick james b!@#h - chappelle show
book'em danna -hawaii five-o
good grief - peanuts
homey dont plat that - in living color
de plane de plane - fantasy island
here it is, your moment of zen - daily show
whatchoo talkn bout willis - diff'rent strokes
wheres the beef - wendys ad
d'oh -simpsons
dyn-o-mite - goodtimes
is that your final answer - who wants 2 b a millionare
oh my god! they killed kenny - south park
live long and prosper - star trek
whassup? - budweiser ad
tastes great! less filling! - miller lite ad
silly rabbit trix are for kids - trix ad
makin' whoppie - newlywed show
smile! you're on candid camera - candid camera
pardon me, do you have any grey poupon? - ad
2007-03-06 21:38:59 · answer #3 · answered by dawn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let's get on the same page here. You want to touch base and regroup before looking like clowns? Well we're like minded there!!
let's circle back when we've had time to sleep on the issue at hand. I don't want to rush into another 800 pound gorilla without you having my back!
2007-03-06 21:33:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you threatening me...?
Sheriff Rosco P Coltrane on The Dukes Of Hazzard.
Back in St. Olaf...
Rose Nylund on Golden Girls. Rose would use this in her stories of her life back on the farm.
Come On Down!
Johnny Olson/Rod Roddy on The Price Is Right.
"I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl" (Larry, "Newhart")
"Oh, my nose!" (Marcia Brady, "The Brady Bunch")
2007-03-06 21:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Resistance is futile" Stng
"Mom always liked you best" Smother's brothers
"The truth is out there" X-files (my favorite)
"Bond, James Bond"
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing" Alka Selzer
"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids"
"Elizabeth, I'm coming!" Sanford and Sons
"You rang?" Adam's Family
"Danger, Will Robinson" Lost in Space
Enough for you??
2007-03-06 21:39:45 · answer #6 · answered by Linda 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How You Doin' - (Joey from Friends)
D'OH - Homer Simpson
I couldn't possibly comment - Francis Urquart
2007-03-06 21:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Mine is "i dont't want to be trapped in the nut"
2007-03-06 22:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by Rav D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IM MIKE JONES!!
no really i know this kid named mike jones
ell oh ellz he's in one of my classes
early bird gets the worm?
well who wants worm anyways........
2007-03-06 22:33:59 · answer #9 · answered by heyy sherry 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like this one personally... Can you digg it... or you can also put in digg it in a groovy sort of way
2007-03-06 21:34:04 · answer #10 · answered by littlepurplefairy83 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"That's so the antelope's uterus"
No joke. That one is huge where I'm from!
2007-03-06 21:32:49 · answer #11 · answered by Philip 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋