Should i feel terrible for asking my bf to upgrade the ring he got me?

Question

We talked about what kind of ring i wanted for a while, and i always told him i wanted at least a carat. Thinking that a one carat would be too big for my small fingers, he decided to get a half carat center stone and quarter carat side stones, bringing the total weight to 1 carat, but when i saw it, i was some how disappointed, i been a heck of a gf, supporting him when he was broke and jobless, and i just feel like i deserve a little more. Am i wrong? i'm only asking for half carat more so that the center stone is one carat and the side stones are still quarter carat bringing the new total weight to 1.5

He has a great jon now and can clearly cover a minor upgrade. i told him and he said sure, i just feel terrible for asking him. but didn't want to keep it bottled inside. do have to wear it for the rest of my life, so if i have a problem with it i should be able to tell him.

This is her Fiance typing. I love her and she deserves the world, i can't lie and say it didn't sting a little when she told me how she felt, but for the mere reason alone she felt terrible no one should think she's superficial. she is in fact, the least superficial person i know. she doesn't wear designer jeans, or purses. she has spent her last dime on me on several occasions, even so much as buying me a car so i can get to a unpaid internship all while supporting us both financially and emotionally. I currently work for an NBA team so the upgrade will set me back about $1,000 but she's worth way more to me. if i had the money, i'd get her a million dollar ring. it's all about her happiness.

Answer 1

I think that you should accept whatever he gets you not so that it shows your not grateful but because he got it for you. Because he went and picked it out for you and bought it with lots of love. Yeah you have to wear it but we are always asked to do things for the people we love. I wouldn't have asked him to get me another ring because he bought it with love. But don't feel to bad its not the most horrible thing in the world.

Answer 2

Ironically, a stone that is one carat may be poorly cut. Often, they'll sacrifice the way it's cut just to make sure the weight equals one carat. You might find a stone that's just under a carat but that sparkles more because it's well-cut.

It seems like you want a one-carat stone not because of how it will look but so you can brag about it. That suggests that you're not concerned about the person you're marrying, or about finances, but about what other people will think. Maybe you are not ready to be married in that case. I would suggest premarital counseling to make sure that your marriage will last past the wedding day.

Answer 3

Its really hard to say. Is this an engagement ring? Is this all he could afford? 3 stones equalling one carat is alot cheaper in some instances than one carat.


I recieved my engagement ring on christmas day. It was a one carat single diamond ring. It wasnt what I expected or what I wanted but the fact that he spent the time and travelled to several differant stores and finally picked out a design that he thought I would love and appreciate. It was hard not too. he put so much effort into the design of the ring not to mention his bank account. I couldnt ask him to exchange it and It was hard to not like the simple gesture he did for me. It was a symbol of his love for me and he put his heart into it.

Answer 4

From the way you phrase the question, you seem to be determined to ask, and want us to say it isn't terrible.

The ring is supposed to be a symbol.

If you care more about having a bigger ring than you care about him, by all means, make a deal of it. Hope he takes the hint and books.

You're getting married. He's is going to promise to be with and support (emotionally, if not monetarily) you for life, let you cuss him out when you birth his child, "richer, poorer" etc. etc.

You think you "deserve a little more" in diamond? And you need to have it now?

You're going into the relationship with the wrong attitude.

There will be times you will help him more than he helps you; and times he helps you more than you help him.

If it's completely uneven over the years, it's a problem.

But you can't expect things to always even out in the short run.

Sounds to me as though he put a lot of thought in to pleasing you.

Too bad (for him) it didn't.

You could leave him, save up your money, and buy exactly what you want.

Maybe that would be best for you both.

Aside: Someone here answered a guy needs to spend 3 month's salary on a ring -- jeezzzz! Yes, I'd want the man I claim to love to spend 3 months sleeping in the street and not EATING to prove he loves me.

Oh, I guess I misunderstood what love's all about.

See, you're not the only one who thinks the size of the rock is the most important part of the relationship!

Answer 5

You should feel terrible! After he put all that thought into picking out your ring...you're disappointed??? How can you not feel terrible? Do you know te price difference between a 1/2 carat and a full carat??? You are being WAY SUPERFICIAL!!! So much for you being "a heck of a gf"!!

Answer 6

I don't think you should feel bad. That's quite a sticky situation... You should find out if it was a hidden money issue that caused him to pick the ring that he did. That would affect how you should deal with it. If it's a money thing, then you can't really ask for an upgrade. But, if it's a not a money thing, then it's fair to have the discussion. I'm sure he wants you to have something you like, particularly since this is something that you will wear for your whole life.

Can you afford to upgrade it yourself? Or, alternatively, you can return the 2 side diamonds and put the money towards the single diamond that you like.

Answer 7

yes, you should feel bad. he put thought into the ring he got you and I am sure he wanted that to be what you wore for the rest of your life. I used to think anything less than a carat was an insult, but you know what, I would rather be with a man i love than have $10K on my finger. and I would rather have $10K in the bank. It's just a ring.

Answer 8

It seems pretty shallow that it matters what size diamonds are in your ring. You should be happy that he gave you a ring. And from the money aspect, a half more carat is more then just a couple of dollars. Good luck

Answer 9

I would feel more than terrible if I were you. if I were him I would have taken the ring I got you and walked right out and not looked back. so because you supported the man you say you love he has to buy you a huge ring? so hes buying your love?" thats disgusting. I hope he realizes the kind of person you are before making the biggest mistake of his life and actaully marrying you. and if he does end up marrying you then I suspect it will end in divorce. people who only think of themselves cant keep a marriage alive. I got a lovely ring from my husband when he proposed and I couldnt even tell you how many carats it is...know why? cuz I dont care!!!!!! there are more inportant things thats a stupid ring. the marriage is the commitment...not the ring. if you want something bigger buy it yourself. selfish b****

Answer 10

Honey, the ring don't mean a thing once you're married a while. Believe me. I'm going on 10 years now and I barely even wear a ring at all. Once you have kids it probably won't fit anyhow. Besides, if this guy was broke and jobless for a while, he may have given you all that he could with that ring and just said the small fingers thing to soften the blow.

Answer 11

He was thinking of you, and he still did what you asked...your ring is a carat. Yes, you should feel awful for asking him for an upgrade, especially if you talked a lot about it being 1 carat and you are now asking for 1.5. Are you going to try to upgrade him too?