I lost my mother almost 9 years ago and its obviously affected me something wicked. I was only 10 at the time of her passing. I've become angry, hateful and cold. I've tried counseling and all that talking to someone crap but it doesn't work at all. What should I do?
2007-03-06 12:08:06 · 8 answers · asked by Paul P 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
there are stages that most people go through. everyone mourns differently. no one can tell you how to feel. hang in there my friend. the pain will subside eventually. the one question you need to ask yourself is do you feel guilt. this could be worth exploring with a qualified therapist.
2007-03-06 12:18:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Paul.......you were such a young child to loose such a great love.
It is a terrible thing, but apparently you had a beautiful, kind, warm
loving, mom for the short time that you did have her......
I do understand your anger, your coldness and your hatefulness
but in time you will get over it......it may take you longer than others
but eventually you will find the same kindness and warmth your
mother taught just by her actions.
Sometimes talking all the crap to someone as you say is not
helpful, but absolutely necessary because you must air out your
loneliness.....maybe you need oral medications for the time being
to help you lessen your anxieties and your destructive behavior.
I hope I was helpful and I wish I could talk to you longer, I have
five sons and I know that if something happened to me they
would be hurt, thinking I left them on purpose........which is
the thoughts of a young child of 10 years old.
EDIT;
Paul, you are still working through the Stages of Grieving
2007-03-06 12:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by isageegee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'd like to offer my condolences to you for the loss of your mother. I can't begin to imagine how devastating it must be to lose a parent at such a young age! My mom and sister died last August, I'm in my 50's and still have a LOT of very difficult days. Anger is one of the stages of grief and it just depends upon the individual as to how long the different stages take. I would imagine that you probably felt abandoned as well, and angry at your mom for "deserting" you, both of which are normal feelings. Being angry at others is also normal because most people had their parents around to nurture guide and love them as they grew up. I know you said that counseling hasn't helped. Maybe you should go to a book store and look for some books about how to deal with the feelings you're still experiencing. Please know that I am concerned about you and will keep you in my prayers.
2007-03-06 12:22:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry to hear that...
let me share my experience with you...i lost my brother when i was 10 years old...and it affects me till this day...i guess it is the fact that we were exposed to a concept that we do not grasp completely at such a young age and in such a tough way....till this day, i am scared of death...not my death, but the death of the people i really love and care for....also, as bad as this sounds, till this day, i cannot accept the fact that my brother is gone...i just think of him as working somewhere abroad and that one day i will get to see him again....
What i am trying to say is...it is very tough...and people deal with it in different ways....i think it is going to take much more than talking to a counsellor...and it is going to take much more time....take things one day at a time....and try to believe deep in your heart that you will se her one day, because you will...in heaven.....
Good Luck!
2007-03-07 05:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My baby recently died. The best thing you can do is help someone. I mean really physically help, not send a card or call, but really help. Don't pick a group or charity, but pick a person, it will help you connect, and realize that other people are out there suffering too. Don't concentrate on your own problems. It will kill you.
2007-03-06 13:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by mel s 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to a mirror and look at yourself holding in the grief. You are the only one who can change that person looking back at you. Prayers
2007-03-06 12:12:35 · answer #6 · answered by Patches6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to accept it cause it was never you fault that it happened anyway.The good lord is taking care of her.forget about the past and leave your life on.And try not to be alone anytime
2007-03-06 12:14:13 · answer #7 · answered by ebiyedinak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just cuz ur mad doesnt mean you have to be mean to everybody cuz then it just makes you a bad person i know if you loose somone u love its hard but u have to think do u think your mother would want you to be mean to other people think about what she wants for you
2007-03-06 12:13:00 · answer #8 · answered by pj<33 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋