I need story jokes!?

Question

Can you tell me a story jok, oh and please explain it at the end of your joke, i realy sometims don't understand. Whatever i think is the funniest gets 10 points.

P.S you will have a chance of getting it if you have more than one joke.

Answer 1

a rabbit and a bear are walking in the woods and they come across a fairy. the fairy says she is about to die and will grant them each 3 wishes. the bear (knowing that he is the ugliest bear ever says "im having trouble finding a girlfriend so for my first wish, i wish i was the only male bear in the country." the fairy flicks her wand and says "ok done." the rabbit says "for my first wish i wish i had a helmet" the bear and the fairy both laugh because they know it was a gay wish but he was granted his wish anyways. "For my second wish" says the bear "i wish i was the only male bear in the planet just to make sure i can get a girlfriend." "ok. says the fairy. your wish is granted." "for my second wish" says the rabbit, "i wish i had a motorcycle." "ok says the fairy and grants his wish. "For my last wish, just to be 100% positive i can find a girl, i wish all the female bears were right here in this city!" . " ok" says the fairy. the rabbit, puts on his helmet gets on his motorcycle and says "for my last wish, i wish that bear was gay!"

EXPLANATION: the male bear wished he was the only male bear in the planet so he could get a girl and the rabbit wished he was gay and drove away safely. the bear will now have no mates
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a guy is walking down the beach and hes all mad because he just got divoreced, fired from his job, and has no place to stay. so as he is walking along the beach, he trips over a magic lamp and a genie comes out. the genie says "for releasing me i shall grant you 3 wishes! but whatever you wish for your ex wife get double what you get." "that sucks!" says the man "but i guess its better then nothing. I wish i had 100 million dollars!" "done. says the genie" and gives him a briefcase "but your ex wife has 200 million dollars." "damn that sucks...oh well. for my second wish, i wish i had a mansion" "done. but your wife has 2 mansions" "gah! oh well.!" says the man. he takes a while to think about his last wish and finally he says "for my last wish, i wish i was beat half to death"

Explanation: his ex wife gets double what he gets, if he gets beat half to death, his wife gets beat to death.

i got more but i am too tired to type. sorry

Answer 2

In the days when you couldn't count on a public toilet facility, an Englishwoman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster.

She was concerned as to whether the guest house contained a WC. In England, a bathroom is commonly called a WC which stands for "Water Closet". She wrote to the schoolmaster inquiring the facilities about the WC.

The school master, not fluent in English, asked the local priest if he knew the meaning of WC. Together they pondered possible meanings of the letters and concluded that the lady wanted to know if there was a "Wayside Chapel" near the house . . a bathroom never entered their minds.

So the schoolmaster, with the help of the priest, got together the following reply:


Dear Madam,

I take great pleasure in informing you that the WC is Located 9 miles from the house.It is located in the middle of a grove of pine trees, surrounded by lovely grounds. It is capable of holding 29 people and is open on Sundays and Thursdays. As there are many people expected in the summer months, I suggest you arrive early.There is,however, plenty of standing room. This is an unfortunate situation especially if you are in the habit of going regularly.

It may be of some interest to you that my daughter was married in the WC as it was there that she met her husband.
It was a wonderful event. There were 10 people in every seat. It was wonderful to see the expressions on their faces. My wife,sadly, has been ill and unable to go recently. It has been almost a year since she went,which pains her greatly. You will be pleased to last know that many people bring their lunch and make a day of it. Others prefer to wait till the last minute and arrive just in time!

I would recommend your ladyship plan to go on a Thursday as there is an organ accompaniment.

The acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds can be heard everywhere. The newest addition is a bell which rings every time a person enters.

We are holding a bazaar to provide plush seats for all since many feel it is long needed. I look forward to escorting you there myself and seating you in a place where you can be seen by all.


With Deepest Regards,


The Schoolmaster

Answer 3

So, I drew an ideograph on the whiteboard, which looked like:

何

I then wrote beneath it "What is the meaning of this ideograph", just like that, without any punctuation.
Then came the responses.

"House?"
"Your name?"
"Name of an ancient Chinese warlord?"

No, no, and no. I pointed to the caption: "What is the meaning of this ideograph".

"I don't know."
"Box."
"Roof."

No, no, and no. I then explained that the ideograph meant "what".