People seem to say I speak in a terse tone, how can I fix this?

Question

People don't think I'm friendly b/c my speech comes out in an unintentionally terse tone. I might be trying to make small talk with somebody, but i have trouble striking that right tone in my voice. It's like I want to be casual and polite, but my words come out sounding demanding. People have told me in the past that I need to pay more attention to the tone of my speech. It seems to happen most often when I'm caught off guard after someone approaches me and strikes up a conversation with me. I have a response in my head, but things come out sounding mean.

Can anyone relate? What can I do to improve this situation? I want to be able to connect with people more often.

Answer 1

Record your voice and listen to yourself speak. Think about how it would sound if someone was speaking to you that way and learn and improve your communication skills.

Also, join a local toastmasters group (toastmasters.org) and spend time with other people who want to improve their skills as a communicator too.

Then, remember where you are now and you'll have a great story to share with others in the future when you've become an excellent communicator.

Answer 2

david's answer is good. toastmaster's helped my dad a lot. I'm very shy, a little different problem, and what i did was join high school debate and speech, but you sound older than that.

Try keeping a half-smile on your face, just a serene type expression. Make sure you smile when you see them, too. Just the expression seems to sweeten a person's tone. Smile when you are on the phone, too.

Being aware of the problem and working on it will probably be all you need. Kind of like when a person swears too much, they first notice it all the time, and then after awhile, they can control it.

Oh, and if you try the tape recording thing and just can't stand to listen to your tinny voice, try downloading a program called audacity and use that program to shift the pitch of your voice so that you sound like somebody else. then you can be more impartial. I make my own relaxation tapes, and i do that so i can actually relax when I listen to them.

Answer 3

Take a private voice lesson to get the personal attention you want and need. You could also take a drama class, but you might prefer to do it privately.