I am in a long-term committed relationship, and we will get married if all goes well, and have talked about it. We don't have much time to hang out, probably briefly around 3 times a week, and a big date twice or 3 times a month. Because I don't get that much attention from him otherwise, I am very susceptible to wandering thoughts. There are these 3 guys in my classes (college) who figured I was single or taking a break, and decided to hit on me... I got rid of two of them, but there's one who's really really nice to me, and just has so much more in common with me than I do with my boyfriend. The last thing I want to do is cheat, and I want to marry my boyfriend, not this guy that I just met. I just love the attention from him because I'm so thirsty for it... since I don't get it from my boyfriend. What can I do? I'm human, and I'm flattered and this is a really nice guy. What should I do to stop all this dangerous activity so I don't jeopardize my relationship? Thanks!
2007-03-06 10:17:32 · 16 answers · asked by reba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
share this with him
2007-03-06 10:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by Susan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly want to be with your boyfriend, don't take the attention from the other guy. Sit down and talk to your boyfriend about what you are feeling. If you have already tried this, let him know that things must change because you are not happy with the way things are going. Also, have you tried being interested in some of the things he is? this helps a lot. without him knowing it, say he likes football and you don't care for it. If you learn about it and get interested, that gives you a time to spend with him. You can even do some things to spark the relationship like leaving him little notes around the house, calling him in the middle of the day to tell him you love him or make a date on a night that is usually spent in the house. I wish you the best.
2007-03-06 10:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by imhischildtwo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really loved your boyfriend you wouldn't need to ask for help... I don't care if you see the guy once a month...if you love him...there is no other person for you...the rest is just lust which burns out and fades and you should know that.
The answer is easy...and it has been for thousands of years...if something is tempting you...remove yourself from the temptation...
Tell the guy that you're going to get married and if he's a good guy he'll back off. If he doesn't...he's a pushy self absorbed guy that's after a piece of ...well you get the idea.
Ignore him...if he won't get the clue...be firm not 'girl firm' but almost rude...sometimes you just have to be rude for people to get the idea that you don't want them.
You have someone that loves you...right now...and you have no idea how lucky you are and to think of cheating...*sigh* I couldn't do that to someone who cared so much about me.
2007-03-06 10:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhh...simple...don't cheat. In fact if you are having second thoughts you need to really sit down and think about whether you are ready for marriage. If not, which sounds like you aren't, then break it off. No point in ruining both your lives. I wish you girls would mature into women and actually learn things for once. For God's sake don't cheat on him unless you want him to hate you.
BTW, if you are under 25 years of age or have not had a stable job and live on your own for more than 3 years you have no business getting married. I don't know why you girls are so gung-ho about making hasty decisions that leave you poor, single, and with a child by age 30. Take a chill pill and enjoy being single. Geez.
2007-03-06 10:25:43 · answer #4 · answered by Justin G 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be straight with the guy hitting on you, tell him your engaged, if he still won't leave him alone think real hard...he isn't set out to be your friend then. Don't cheat, I lost everything with out cheating just by going back to talk to someone that would say nice things. Trust me isn't worth it. If you love this guy stay focused, yes your human. Also very important tell you boyfriend you really need some more time with each other. He can't fix what he doesn't know is broke.
2007-03-06 10:22:55 · answer #5 · answered by 20+ years and still in-love! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
know what you want in live, even if you do get marry, you might just end up with having an affair since your GUY is working to paid the bill for you. You will just make up an excuse saying he is away all the time on business trip and can't stay with you. Something like that will happen and you know it. So decide what kind of girl you are, a fateful girlfriend and wife, or a cheater and a lier.
2007-03-06 10:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, if this is the man you want to marry the thought of cheating shouldnt ever cross yoru mind. Ive been there. Before I was in the relationship im in now ( Im engaged to the man of my dreams ), I was honestly, a whore. But now, Im so happy and I know this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, so cheating is the farthest thing from my mind. No matter how little you see each other it shouldnt change the fact that you love him and if you love him enough that in itself should make you stay faithful and if youre putting this much thought into cheating, maybe hes not the man for you to begin with.
2007-03-06 10:22:51 · answer #7 · answered by crazybitch 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you truly loved your boyfriend, you would have no trouble ignoring this man. You have two choices here, either get rid of the gentleman on the side or break it off with your boyfriend. If you are so easily attracted to other men, I don't think you are in love with your boyfriend at all. Remember being in love and just loving someone are two different things.
2007-03-06 10:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by Alwyn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to marry him because you have been together so long and it just seems right..then you are wrong. Find your soul mate while you are young. There is nothing wrong with the guy you think you want to marry, but if you want more than he can give you...you will always be settling for less...he needs to find someone that will settle for that. You will find someone that will make you totally happy and you will not want or desire more. If you stay with one guy, when you are 40 something...you more than likely will be saying to yourself...ahhh look at that nice couple...I wish I had a soul mate.
2007-03-06 10:27:50 · answer #9 · answered by L B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you thinking!!!! If you have more in common with the guy you like , been hanging out with, then why would you want to marry your boyfriend, whom you don't see very often , whom you don't have much in common with... ???? Think this over before you decide to marry the boyfriend... its important to have things in common... the 'sex' thing will blow over after a while so you need to have something else with this guy (boyfriend).. besides that..
2007-03-06 10:25:40 · answer #10 · answered by lucielu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider this a test for the real world. This approach to problem solving will help define where your moral compass is pointing. I hope you don't confuse this action with what is said in the Bible.
Talk out your problems with your boyfriend. You have a huge responsibility of not giving him what ever you catch out there. This does not sound like a happy ending.
2007-03-06 10:28:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋