Men over 40 please answer....dating and physical affection?

Question

Greetings gentlemen,

I occasionally see/date a very wonderful man over 40. It is best to say we in the "friends" category and see one another when we can (different cities, not too far apart). We have gone out 9 times since August, never had "the talk" or ever have gotten into serious background past info on each other (like hurts, relationships, etc) but spending time is great and each time we get to know each other a little more...and we have great nights out.

My question is....I am very attractive and I know he finds me so. I also find him attractive. Yet I follow his lead and we have only kissed and hugged concluding evenings together. I have usually dated younger men who were only interested in getting me into bed...this chap has not tried that. Is this how mature guys are on dates? Is this how it goes in the 40+ years? I feel he is a gentleman, but I would like to ask what the men think...and how an almost 40 woman convey she is hot for him--subtly

some have asked...I am 39

Answer 1

I am 50 and although my sexual ability is no longer as strong as when I was in my twenties, I still have a need for sex more than once a day.

I realise this is not always the case and some men have prostate enlargement issues that may cause a certain lack of rigidity, but certainly I would have hoped to progress things to intimacy well before 9 dates in 6 months.

Maybe he is just a gentleman and doesn't want to scare you off by getting too pushy, and maybe he is just shy in this department. Either way you may need to be more aggressive to progress things to a level YOU are more comfortable with.

Good luck and go wild.

Answer 2

There could be several things on his mind that keep him in check. I've found that inside I am not very different than I was in my 20's. I can feel shy, uncertain or enjoy a woman's company enough so as not to risk being intimate, because I may be left seeing no one if she were to be offended.
It could be a past experience or another relationship he is persuing to keep him cordial. Being a mature woman, you know the things you feel that might make you nervous, he isn't that much different. It seems like he's unsure about the idea of moving to the next step in the relationship. You can continue to wait to see if he opens up, or delicately inquire about his feelings. There is no ritual that works every time when it comes to romance.

Answer 3

I'll give you my take.

Over the years, and through my marriage, I have learned a lot about women. Now, don't get me wrong - I don't know diddly, but I DO know a lot more than most of the boneheaded men I associate with.

I've learned that being respectful with a woman is great BS. In other words, I want to give my woman GREAT BS! She lives for it. One of the ways I do it is to totally respect her sexually and let HER be the one to intitiate intimacy.

So with that in mind, I'd say that you definitely need to let him know you're ready for the next level - be bold - seduce him - make him feel loved.

Love for a man is UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE. Any woman that takes this to heart and practices it will have a fantastic relationship.

FP

Answer 4

im well over 40 and i let the lady lead where she wants to go --- i would suggest he is interested (he keeps coming back and you have a good time) ---- as we get older we dont look on sex the same as when we were younger --- its become very enjoyable and something that can help you get closer to each other --- and to let him know how you feel it is difficult because we dont want to intrude or make overtures that may be unwelcome --- so i know i need to be 100% sure that the lady is interested and that can only be at her instigation --- best wishes

Answer 5

I'm 42. If I may....Look, you're both adults and quite frankly, I'm impressed your friend is such a gentleman. That's rather rare. Anyway, if you feel ready to take things to a new level, bring it up. You're both adults. If he agrees, things are great. If not, at least you know. My guess is, he's a gentleman, even if he doesn't feel the same way, he'll tell you honestly, but won't allow it to interfere with your friendship.

Answer 6

how old are you... Wow... 40 is a bit old... you know there are a lot of young guys that are gentlemen too...for example I'm 28 and I think I am... you just have to find us. Chivalry doesn't come with age it's the person and how they were raised.

Answer 7

Sounds like a real gentleman there. The next time you two kiss, jam that tongue down his throat and raise your knee. If he refuses, put on your gay-dar.

A guy on the far side of forty.
.

Answer 8

First and foremost how old are you? and yes men in their 40's are not thinking about sex they are looking for companionship someone to settle down and grow old together. Sex will come at a later date if he still can get it up. (Sorry), furthermore they usually have all their sh*t together by then.

Answer 9

wrinkley wrinkley sat on the wall.... wrinkley wrinkley had a great fall.... inlove. Woot! Woot!... just kidding. do you know each other background... single, married, divorce, have 2 kids? 10 kids? yah know.. the basics... maybe he is a gentle man... maybe he's not interested... maybe he's gay.... but the think is... you have to find out... go out, have a few drinks and invite him to stay at your place... and find out if this man is the one you'll end with... get it? end with? just kidding... take care.

Answer 10

your both of age, by a large margin...just take control, maybe he is just not sure of what you are feeling and needs you to take him by the hand and basically guide him in what YOU want!

DON'T be subtle, just take over!