How to hang in when your ex and your own actions have turned off you only child?

Question

My son's been more than half-time with his dad since I almost died in a car crash. his father never let him cry when I would drop him off after visitation- has never let him show me affection. Now, I've been through illness, and lay-off, and I can see that I'm not as stable, but damn, I've always been there.
Now I live three hours away (soon to be two when they move),
and my car's totally dead.
I'm afraid to call my own son, because he grunts and grumbles and puts me on hold wihtout telling me, when his dad and stepmom are there. Of course, int he few days of vacation he had, we talked for over half an hour quite nicely a couple of times- he told me so much abotu his week, etc...
but with his sports, he has no time to talk to me wihtout them around.
Tjhe mom is a wonderfully empathic erson, a school psych and all. She once stated that our son knows he can call any time he likes- and I know she believes that. But she hasn't been around that long...

PS this car problem means I don't see him, and the phone is the opnly viable contact until I get it back in order.

Answer 1

(1)use email to talk to him more regularly.

(2)tell your ex to ease up on their "looking over his shoulder" when he's on the phone or computer with you. Although your ex's current may be a psych or whatever, it doesn't mean that she isn't trying to replace your role as mother to your son.

(3)set up a time to call so you and your son can spend at least half an hour on the phone uninterrupted and unspied on. Let your ex know about this appointment and make sure you keep the appointment.

(4) buy him a track phone so only he has access to it and you can talk to him when he is alone.

Answer 2

just act sad around him and maybe he'll come back