A relative watches 2 of your kids for a total of 3 years (over time), and does other favors that helps your family out. Your spouse gets them a nice necklace as a thank you, but they bring it back, because they think it is unnecessary or too much. Isn't that terribly rude, or is that okay? Now the giver wants nothing to do with the person; is that justified? They are humiliated.
2007-03-06 08:21:57 · 12 answers · asked by GottaBeMe 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It isn't really rude. Some would say it would be "rude" (not reli the right word) to accept an over-generous gift.
What is important, is that it is obvious they do not want to offend you at all...but if they feel they cannot accept it (because its too much) then thats fair enough.
I don't think the giver should want nothing to do with the person, that's not fair on them. Just beacuse they don't feel comfortable accepting the gift.
2007-03-06 08:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by pinkfudge27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was silly of the receiver to give the gift back. Even though he/she was trying to be nice, that wasn't the right thing to do. When someone gives you a gift, you should accept it. It's perfectly fine to say the cliched "Oh, you shouldn't have!!!" but, it will be awkard towards the giver for a receiver to insist on giving it back. I don't know your whole situation, but in my opinion, the giver is justified in being a little annoyed with the receiver, but of course he or she should not completely cut the receiver from his/her life. Basically, everyone made too much of a deal about everything. The gift should have been accepted, and that's that! Since it wasn't, the giver should deal with it... and obviously not try to give that person any more gifts! :-P
2007-03-06 18:26:57 · answer #2 · answered by TGIF1905 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might have been wrong to return the gift, but maybe not. Maybe the person had other reasons (like needing food, medicine or not liking the style...)
Once a gift is given, the giver has no right to expect the recipient will do anything/something.
I assume the giver wanted to thank the recipient. Giving the gift was the way they chose to. Perhaps the giver should have just chose to say thanks, or returned the favors.
I think the giver should stop being upset and just say thank you and drop it.
2007-03-06 16:50:12 · answer #3 · answered by Matthew P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's more rude for your spouse to reject and humiliate a relative after they helped you out so much. Rejecting a gift is not rude if the receiver considers it overly generous. It sounds like there might be some hidden enmity between your spouse and your relative, causing your spouse to interpret the rejection of the gift as a personal rejection. If your relative is a manipulative person, it might possibly be a veiled insult, but offhand they sound like too nice a person to do that.
2007-03-06 16:46:17 · answer #4 · answered by Lazy G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why a necklace? I would check your spouse for infidelity. Sounds odd to me. Its not rude it sounds like there is more going on than you know. I'd watch your spouse closely. A thank you gift should be some cookies are something a little less intimate. A neckless is a lover's gift or shows interest. That's most likely why she gave it back. I would feel uncomfortable too if someones husband gave me such a gift. Its not appropriate. She's right.
2007-03-10 10:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by Sunday P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's rude either. It's their way of saying, I love you, I support you, and I'm GLAD to help out and do what I do. You don't need to give me something to say "thank you." I think they were trying to make a positive statement by NOT accepting it, so the giver shouldn't feel bad. I could see why they would feel humiliated, but I think they're taking it the wrong way. I think they should instead, write a nice thank you note expressing how grateful they are for everything the relative does, and then take them out to dinner one night.
Just a thought.
2007-03-06 16:34:14 · answer #6 · answered by AbRoller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the person's perspective. The spouse should not feel humiliated becoz it does seem like they did it out of humility, and not to put you down or make you feel bad. Although, I personally agree that returning gifts isn't very polite. But I think the relative just didn't want to take that favor, because he helped out of his heart and not to "get" something.
2007-03-06 17:14:47 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they are both in the wrong, the reciever should have been thankful and gracecious when trying to give back the gift...or just accept it, and the giver should just let be water under the bridge, otherwise it just adds more drama to the whole situation when there should have been more drama....besides it will just cause other family members drama as well. Someone should just get them together and just let it all go. Life is too short for crap like this.
2007-03-06 16:38:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is terribly rude. I think the giver is justified in feeling the way they do but it is something they should get over. Just take it as a lesson learned.
2007-03-09 03:47:39 · answer #9 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's in poor taste to return a gift. However, you should consider the person who returned it. Were they appreciative, but honestly thought it unecessary or too expensive. Consider that they may have thought they were doing a kind thing by returning such an expensive gift. Don't just look at the act, consider the spirit of it.
2007-03-06 18:07:45 · answer #10 · answered by Apple21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋