Our intelligence has increased from thousands of years ago...technolgies are proof of that...so why?

Question

have the expectations of marriage and the role both people play have stayed the same for thousands of years.......why havent the marriage vows changed in line with our highter intelligence and sense of equality.....why is marriage still seen as a form of owning the other person? Does any married couple really understand the meaning of equality? Maybe the divorce rate would decrease significantly if the marriage contract was like all other contracts that could be renewed on a regular basis...maybe it would keep both parties on their toes so that they dont take each other for granted. I really dont understand why non-religious people get married, they dont believe in God/Jesus, yet they get married in a church and take the same vows a believer in God does...it seems pretty hypocritical to me....what do you think? I wouldnt mind some thoughtful answers, and I do read more than a one cliched sentence.

Hey abby, Im not Mr Simpleton, Im Ms Simpleton.....lol...and dont you realise that peoples questions are based on their experiences, not just with themselves but what they have seen...and what I have seen far outweighs anything you will ever see.

Answer 1

Firstly, Intelligence has not increased from thousands of years ago. If that were true then why are we just beginning to understand some of the advanced technologies that were extent all those thousands of years ago? We tend to think of ourselves as advanced simply because we DON'T KNOW what they knew. That's rather backwards thinking. The tiny specks of evidence that is just beginning to surface shows that ancient civilizations were far, far more advanced technologically than we ever thought.

No, the only thing that has increased is knowledge, not intelligence. Yet, the knowledge of human relationships has stagnated for all these thousands of years.

Marriage is the closest human relationship/bond that there is, or even can be, in this physical form. Yet it is from a SHALLOW understanding of human relationships, not a higher intelligence, that marriage becomes so casual that we would think of it as temporary.

People still fight, and have wars; they still love, lust and desire; they still give, steal, have joy and sadness, excitement and depression; they still can't control themselves in the face of denial. None of these things have changed for thousands of years. The needs and wants, the things that bring joy and misery, are still an integral part of human nature. And so, human nature has not changed since we were put on this speck of dust.

And since you asked this question in the R&S category, I will reveal to you something about marriage that most, even among the religious, don't know. The marriage relationship is a type of the relationship we are to have, throughout all eternity, with God. That is the primary reason it was and is a life-long contract.

Throughout the Old Testament, God repeatedly declares that he was married to Israel. And the New Testament declares that the Church will be the bride of Christ.

Marriage is to last a lifetime, because our relationship with God is to last an eternal lifetime.

There is one thing that I'll agree with you on, however, is the hypocritical nature of the godless. But then, hypocrisy is another human nature attribute that hasn't changed in thousands of years, now has it?

Answer 2

I have yet to marry anyone, but as I am an atheist I would be very much against being married in a church. I think I will have an outdoor ceremony if possible, a lot of smaller parks will have a set up that one could rent for just such a ceremony.

All the same though, I agree, the vows should be changed, or at least viewed differently. I doubt I would take my husband's surname in any case, as I am both attached to mine, and unwilling to part with the link it makes to my family.

I think marriage can be a great deal outside any church, but I would not be afraid of the stigma, small as it it, to have kids and live together with someone without being married. Perhaps I see marriage as being more of a socially acceptable way to have a family rather than a contract or a church-licensed bond.

Answer 3

You can't equate intelligence with knowledge. Study out the cultures ofthe ancient peoples. You will find out some amazing things. They hab electricity back then, how else could they gold plate anything. The Temples are works of art. The stones on some of the Aztec Temples weigh more than 20 times what our biggest crane can lift. And they fit together like a jigsaw puzzle and are so precise that it is impossible to slide a playing card in the gaps!! The ancient Egyptions even performed brain surgery. There are many more evidences to numerous to mention here. As for the marriage issue. God created it to be between a man and a woman. If God designs something, that means that there is not any other way to make it work. Our country lacks character and comittment, that is why there is a high divorce rate. Mommy and Daddy aren't there to make it easier for them, and OH No, their self esteem might get hurt!!

Answer 4

I think the use of the traditional vows of patriarchal marriage are falling into disuse more and more. The last five weddings I attended the vows written by the couple had no subordination implied. Given that the divorce rate among conservative churches like the Southern Baptists are higher than the general population they'd grab a clue about treating women as second class marriage partners. Personally I think couple entering into a marriage where they start out agreeing to the man's ultimate authority are fooling themselves if they think the man will really cherish and the woman will really honor. They'll both be talking trash about one another to their their peeps in no time. Everyone resents an unequal relationship.

Answer 5

Truth doesn't change. Some things stand the test of time, including the sanctity of marriage and it's purpose. It's the perversion of the truth that really hasn't changed. The truth is always there, it's just that people have a way of carrying the deception from one generation to the next, until some courageous soul breaks the spell.

I know of many sad and weak men in marriage that are actually owned by their women. Ha ha, it may appear that men own women in some cultures, but the opposite is true.

Answer 6

No, that's knowledge. We are standing on the shoulders of giants. There are plenty of giants (mentally) now for the next generation to stand on. Brighter people will separate naturally by breeding only w/in their class/caste, this is happening all the time. We new Neanderthals will be left behind, but if you marry well your kids may have a future.
Marriage has simply become a deal w. the state to support your wife and offspring, or else.

Answer 7

I'm atheist and I would never get married in a church because I would feel like a hypocrit. I agree that times have changed but things (such as marriage) haven't. The problem is, just because our intelligence has changed doesn't mean we are right.

I feel a couple has to do whats right for them, in some cases its marriage, in some cases it isn't, but either way its all about what works for you as a couple.

Answer 8

All religons have some form of marriage ceremony. And the ownership isnt implied in all of them. I myself was handfasted, and it was a joining of two souls in equal partnership. I do see your point though. But nothing will change until it's wanted badly enough. People have to WANT equality. And by equality I mean equality, not just same benefits, plus prefered treatment. I think we're growing as a society, though. Have faith :)

Answer 9

How God wants marriage is something that shouldn't change:

1 man, 1 woman united: no adultry, so there should be no feelings of inferiority of your partner's preferences and foreign std's aren't picked up; they can teach their children how to love properly; perverse sexual acts bestality, porn) should not be committed; no divorce so children's lives aren't destroyed, and they themselves do not end up with hatred; each spouse should be backed-up by their spouse emotionally, spiritually, ideally; companionship; appreciation of eachother; patience, kindness, trust (check 1 Cor. 13:4-8) is abundant ....

you have a problem with this definition of marriage? PS: God doesn't want a man to "dominate" a woman, as the husband is supposed to love and respect his wife, even risk his life for her; a woman is to submit to her OWN husband, not all men, and should be loving as well. And some Christians in their marriage also promise to be faithful to God, and to live Holy and Pure before Him, and their spouses. Would you do that?

Answer 10

You make some asumptions that just aren't true. Non-religious people do not get married in church, they have a justice of the peace do the ceremony. And I am not sure that the gene pool of today has any higher intelligence than say Greece 2500 years ago.