help my 3 year old is a nightmare!!?

Question

my little girl has turned in to a nightmare i know it sounds awful for me to say it but she is been such a brat. she wont do anything she is told. she starts crying 4 every think she told off 4. she has tantrums when u say NO to her. wot can i do?

Answer 1

oh aren't 3yr old girls just a joy to be around!

we sailed through the not so terrible twos and then we woke up one morning to find the devil had moved in!

you need a lot of patience ( not easy at three in the morning when she wants to know why she can't colour now )

the best advice i've been given is to pick your battles. there is no point fighting her over little things just the main things you want her to stick to.
the closer my daughter gets to 4 the easier i'm finding it to negotiate (some would call it bribery!) like if i know we are doing something later she wants to do i'll tell her if she doesn't pick up all the fridge magnets she has just kicked all over the floor we won't go to the park.

for tantrums i find it is best to ignore them if you can or i send my daughter to her bedroom and every five mins ask if shes ready to come down stairs and be a big girl.
its really working well. she used to be up there three or four times a day now it's only once or twice a week. we r getting there!

good luck finding what works for you.
hope this helps a little x

Answer 2

I think a good idea would be a sticker chart at the age of 3 visual aids are great if she behaves really well in the am say well done show her how pleased you are and add a sticker to the chart continue this throughout the day and if she gets a certain number stickers a day give her a treat at the end of the day maybe a nice pudding or an activity she really enjoys. You must be consistent and if she has a tantrum no sticker it is also important not to take stickers away as she has earned these it may take a few days but she will soon see good behavior is rewarded and when she being a little monkey she is the one who loses. The amount of stickers is up to you i would say if a child is really challenging break the day up into 30min slots or hourly and gradually build this up . good luck

Answer 3

She is just testing out your boundaries and seeing how far she can push you - when do you give in? If you don't give in then this will not last long. I have found the following works best with my 3 year old -

1. Give him a warning, then if this is ignored I sit him on the 'naughty step' for three mins (good ole supernanny technique)
2. If bad behaviour continues - take away a favourite toy and put it in a box where he can't reach, but, can see it.
3. When he begins behaving again I give it him back.

I ignore tantrums and just let him get through it. They finish really quickly that way as he doesn't get a reaction. After he has calmed down I show him what he looked like when he was having the tantrum, e.g. stamping his feet! and we have a laugh about it. i can then usually talk a little bit about how he should have told me what he wanted etc.

Make sure she gets plenty of your attention and praise when she is behaving well, this will teach her what she SHOULD be doing. She is crying because it probably winds you up and she is getting a reaction from you. Walk away when she cries and leave her to it. When she comes through afterwards just act like nothing happened and carry on with what you wanted her to do etc.. It's your attention she wants - just make sure she gets more when she is behaving really well and you will have a better day!!

Answer 4

Aaaah at last someone with the same problem as me!!!!
i use the naughty step at home. I make her sit on it until she can say sorry.
When out I walk away from her whilst she is having a tantrum, just far enough so i can see her but she cant see me. She soon stops when she realises mummy has left her.
when she runs off in shops etc i get her back and remind her of the nasty man or lady that might take her away if she runs away.
I also threaten to take her toys away, she doesnt beleive me so i get a clean bin bag put some of her favourite toys into it and put it in the top of the dustbin whilst she is watching she soon stops doing what ever she was doing and I get the toys back for her later on. (dont do it on bin day though!! my neighbour put my bin out and I had to chase the dust lorry all the way down the street!!!!)

Answer 5

I know this is a very hard thing to do but DON'T give in to her. I have three my boyfriend has two and I swear it works. Just keep the rules simple and ALWAYS follow them. If you say you are going to get a punishment for something make sure it is something you can live with doing. A few times of having to leave a fun outing due to a fit or sitting in timeout for five minutes or until the tantrum stops really really works. I also like the Nanny on tv she helps people in like situations. Good Luck

Answer 6

Everyone says that little kids are so cute, but every parent knows that they go through phases when they are the worst little bitches, my sister who loves her kids was driven demented by them, as were many friends with kids of this age ... so, no, it doesn't sound awful, it sounds about normal actually.

But you are right to be firm. Your little one is testing her boundaries, pushing to see what she can and cannot get away with. Let her have her tantrums but do not give in for the sake of a quiet life, you wouldn't be doing her any favours in the long run. An occasional smack wouldn't go amiss either, it just serves to get her attention and to reinforce your No.

I'm not advocating violence to children, by the way. Nothing wrong with a smack with the flat of the hand, it never did me any harm!

But whenever you can distract her from throwing a wobbly, do. When you see her taking a big breath to start yelling, then you could say something like 'There's Mr Brown from next door with his dog!' or something like that. Or use something that your child will enjoy to distract her.

Answer 7

My friend is a teacher of young kids. She uses the "choice" method. It may be a little more advanced for your little girl's age: try giving her a simple choice. She can either do as you say, or for example, no dessert after dinner. (Pick whatever will get the best result.) Definitely remove her from the premises (if you are in a store for instance.) My kids are 17 and 21 now. It was so long ago that I can't remember quite what I did. Under no circumstances use spanking.

Answer 8

firstly i think you need to stick it out as 3year olds are like that. Secondly ignore the crying she probably does it for attention. Invent a space in the house for time out. When she will not listen or has a tantrum place her in the time out space. If she kepps coming out just keep puting her back. But do not talk or engage in any conversation, in the end she will stay. Always let her know why she is in trouble as soon as you tell her off. see how that works. it will be hard but it does wrk.
good luck.

Answer 9

Your children's behavior is usually a sign of stress in the child's life or your personal parenting style. Take some time and consider what things were going on when her behaviors changed. Have you had any changes in your life (new job, relationships, etc.)? Have you or other caregivers in her life been interacting differently with her? Have you maybe been too lenient or overally hard on her? Sometimes, if you can pinpoint when the decline began, its easier to see how you might change it.

Remember -- always follow through with your children, whether with discipline, promises, or praise.

Remember -- encourage your kids when they do good behaviors! Show them how excited you are for them! But also remember to strenly let them know when they've done unacceptable behaviors.

Good luck!

Answer 10

I know people talk about the terrible twos, but with my eldest believe me it was the threes not the twos that were a nightmare.

Be firm, stand your ground and be consistent. It will be tough going but you will get there in the end.

ps don't forget to try and have some fun too, go to the park / days out etc. It's easy not to do this when your little one is playing up but it can make things easier when everyone gets a chance to let their hair down and get some fresh air