Maybe I am a Bridezilla... I try not to let them mix as much as possible but I have "helpful" family and friends that don't always do things as I'd normally do them. My mom thought it would be nice for the girls to be with me when I tried on my dress but they were so catty with each other I was miserable and my dress experence wasn't so great. I've made another appointment to go back... alone.
My youngest daughter will be my flower girl, my oldest will be my maid-of-honor. I don't need bridesmaids... I don't need the headache that comes with them.
If it were you, and your best friends couldn't get it together for just a moment or two for one of your most special days... what would you do? Use them or lose them?
2007-03-06 07:23:52 · 18 answers · asked by doormouse72 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You're not a bridezilla. You're being smart. These friends were adding stress to an already stressful time. You only want those around you who will support you and put up with whatever choices you make--whether it be dress, other bridesmaids, whatever. If they can't do that, then they shouldn't be in your wedding.
To those nay-sayers who are making you feel bad, ask them if they've ever had a bad bridesmaid or been a bad bridesmaid or been in a wedding with a bad bridesmaid. It makes the experience awful for everyone.
I was in a wedding (MOH, actually) last August--my best friend of 18 years. One of her other bridesmaids was a bridesmaidzilla. This girl was only asked to be in the wedding b/c she's best friends w/the groom. Well, she questioned every decision that was made and made it really tense to be around her or work with her. She was awful! It made it really hard.
Hard bridesmaids are the worst. As long as they understand that it says nothing about your friendship, then good for you for "firing" them.
2007-03-06 10:38:17 · answer #1 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't necessarily lose them, but I would probably go without them for the wedding. They can come and be part of the celebration but if they can't seem to get along while you try on some dresses...you don't need that headache on top of everything else you'll have to deal with on your wedding day. Maybe you could assign them other little tasks so they feel involved. Maybe one could be a reader at the ceremony, one could help with the guest book table at the reception, one could assist your daughters with their placements and hair. Good luck, but if they can't understand why their not in your wedding you might have to be brutally honest with them and tell them they're acting more like your children during this time!
2007-03-06 15:31:51 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the friends out of your bridal party and keep them as guests! When I got married for the second time, I had my two daughters walk with me down the aisle (holding hands) and I specifically asked our officiant to say "Who gives this woman..." and my daughters answered "We Do!" and the three of us were just that... the three of us... I didn't have any other 'maids because friends come and go and I didn't want to look back at my wedding pictures and think "I wonder what happened to..." but I knew that the girls and I would represent the team we were before I got remarried.
2007-03-06 16:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by ottisredding 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you learned a valuable lesson. When you go dress shopping take ONE VERY good friend. Might be your mother, or another person. But that's all.
I can only imagine how any other get-togethers will go. But I wouldn't get too concerned over all of it. They're just being jealous women vying for your attention when it is in fact, you who should be getting it.
If two of them can be in the same room at the same time, why don't you get together with them over lunch, or coffee, just to chat.
As far as your other get-togethers go with your daughters. They are your bridal party, they are excited, let them share this most important time with you.
2007-03-06 16:05:50 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would speak to each of them in turn, and say that they need to chill out. Then I would just let it slide. Because all they have in common is you, they're probably competing with each other to see which of them is closest to you. They're probably jealous of each other, and plus they're under some stress (being a bridesmaid is stressful too).
I don't think I'd have done what you did, but I will give you credit for firing them all rather than firing two and keeping one. However, be aware that if they already purchased their dresses, YOU need to pay them back.
2007-03-06 16:53:29 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am still having bridesmaids and a maid of honor in my upcoming wedding, I wouldn't have that any other way. But as far as my dress shopping and everything else, I did it all on my own. I want it how I want it and thats that!
2007-03-06 15:31:55 · answer #6 · answered by ann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit everybody down and talk about it. Say that you appreciate their help, but this is how your wedding is going to be. Make a positive, happy, productive meeting of it. Don't get flustered when they get upset, and they will because people are crazy, just tell them how it is.
If they don't like it, let them deal with it because your way is going to happen whether they like it or not. Don't ditch the friendships, don't make a scene...just do it your way. Have your fiance there for support. Make sure both sides and sets of friends are present.
2007-03-06 15:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by Thera 9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They don't sound like real friends...... if they really cared about you the could behave and get along for a short amount of time... it's not like they are marrying each other they just have to spend a limited amout of time together.
I think you did the right thing... you don't need to be babysitting on your wedding day!!
2007-03-06 15:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose them. My bridesmaids barely knew each other, and what they did know, they didn't really like. But you would never know it by seeing the time we all spent together looking at dresses, getting ready, doing the shower, etc.
If they truly loved your friendship, they would suck it up for the few days they have to spend together.
2007-03-06 15:28:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why would you "use' your friends? And what do you mean "get it together"? Being at your beckon call 24/7 is not what they are there for. However I do understand the dress issue, my sister is getting married 3 weeks before me (she planed it that way not me) and the entire time I was trying mine on , she was picking out hers.
2007-03-06 16:15:16 · answer #10 · answered by sdarp1322 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋