We are holding a baby shower for someone. The baby has been born premature with a few medical complications (non-life threatening). We thought about postponing the shower to a later date, but the new Mom was really looking forward to it, and it seems it will give her something to take her mind off all the stress. We have received alot of flak from the new dad's family that it is inappropriate to still have the shower, and we should postpone it. What does anyone think? Still have it, or postpone?
2007-03-06 07:21:39 · 14 answers · asked by NANCY C 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
What does the new mom want to do? The shower is for her and the baby. I would let this be her decision.
2007-03-06 07:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by TD R 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should definitly go ahead with the shower! Although, perhaps ask the mother (if it's not a surprise) and see if she would rather postpone it.
Personally, I think you should do it before the baby comes home from the NICU (how early was the baby born, and is it still in the NICU?). Once the baby is home, there won't be much time to relax for a baby shower AND preemies really shouldn't be around so many people at first.
My daughter was born by emergency c-section, unexpectedly, at 27 weeks...she had a very very rough beginning and my husband and I were very stressed for a long time. She was in the NICU for exactly 4 months and I was there EVERY day and night. But I fully welcomed having my baby showers! It was so nice to see that everyone cared so much and were really here to help us through this, etc. It renewed our strength in the situation also, to see that so many people supported us. I had two baby showers...one thrown by my family and friends, and the other thrown by my husband's family.
However, my baby was born January 26 (she was due April 23) and I just didn't feel comfortable having the showers until later...so one was on April 2 and the other was on April 23 (her actual duedate). I was able to relax and enjoy it since, at that point, my daughter's condition wasn't life-threatening and we were just waiting for the ok to be able to bring her home at that point.
And I'm glad that we had the showers BEFORE she came home from the NICU...because I was SOOO busy afterwards!
I hope everything goes well for your friend's baby!
2007-03-08 05:57:27 · answer #2 · answered by Megan V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if the complications are non-life threatening, then certainly! It is very draining to spend numerous hours at the hospital with a premie. Her having a little time with friends and family is what the mother needs.
Of course it would be a man to say it's a bad idea, but she is your friend and you know her better than most. Provided the situation does not have her in a depressive mood, it is a very nice thing to do. She will appreciate it and I think additional gifts/books/info/ and specialty items for premies (smaller diapers, etc) would be a special touch for the situation.
2007-03-06 07:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should still have it! And if all else fails, do what the MOM wants to do! I'm happy the baby is ok. The sooner the better with the shower, though. Babies need lots of stuff and the mother needs time to set up and make those few returns to babies r us that every mom ends up doing!
2007-03-06 07:26:29 · answer #4 · answered by cutesy76 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you decide do not make this a surprise shower...make sure the mother approves and is in the loop. Ask her when you should have it so she can pick a time when she doesnt have to be at the hospital, even better wait untill the baby is home. It will make her sad to bring home baby things with no baby.
2007-03-06 09:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You mention "the new Mom was really looking forward to it". I don't know if she said this before the birth or since the birth.
I'd ask both the new parents what they want you to do. If they both think you should go ahead then do so. Disregard what the new Dad's family think; it's not their child.
My opinion: I hope the baby shower goes ahead now.
2007-03-06 07:28:52 · answer #6 · answered by Alex 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have the shower...absolutely.
The same thing happened to a co-worker of mine. The baby came a month early...but we had the shower anyway and it was wonderful. We all got to see the baby and I think his parents really enjoyed all the attention and party atmosphere.
2007-03-06 08:36:58 · answer #7 · answered by Misty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i might advise getting her a time-honored infant image album, one that she will definitely take along with her everywhere. i'm specific that she will decide to coach off her new infant, even nevertheless she won't have the means to take him/her along with her everywhere. yet another super theory is a sweatshirt/t-shirt that has been custom (we had ours spray-painted) that publicizes something like "Proud New Mommy" or something alongside those lines. while a mom-to-be registers, they visit a save or shops of their decision and %. out presents that they might decide to acquire. whether, if she grew to become into no longer conscious that her infant might as a rule possibly be untimely, there are in all probability particularly some issues on her checklist that she won't have the means to apply at the instant, so attempt to maintain that in the process concepts.
2016-09-30 07:13:13 · answer #8 · answered by fabbozzi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely have it. This is a time when the new Mother needs all of the support she can get. Positive friends will lift hes spirits. Her inlaws are wrong - and if she has to deal with that kind of attitude she needs you even more.
Also, it's so hard to find premie clothes, and it's not something that is planned for, so finding some would probably be very beneficial and appreciated.
2007-03-06 07:53:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the complications are non-life threatening and if the mom is looking forward to it, you should go ahead and have it.
You might want to tone it down a little bit, recognizing dad's wishes.
2007-03-06 07:26:48 · answer #10 · answered by SS90 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋