Help, I need a friend at the moment...?

Question

I do not know what is going on with me, I feel lost, I feel as if I am living a life without a reason...
Everything that I do, is wrong.. I never do anything right..

i'm about to graduate..
I got accepted into Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, but I am not satisfied with that...
IDK what I was thinking, that I put "Aerospace Engineering" as my major..
my GPA is 3.4 and I believe that just because of the major.. they are accepting me...
I've tried so hard this whole year.. IDK if I can take it..

I almost feel like just ending everything..
I don't want to go through this anymore!!
I try so0o hard and yet, no one seems to take notice of that..
it's always the "Bright" students that get recognition..
throughout all my life.. I NEVER had the same opportunities as all those "Bright" students..
I admire them because they work hard, but I struggled so much to get to the point where I am..
that I feel it's not good enough anymore!!
it's just not good enough! i'm not good enough for now one!!....

I have everything any one could ever ask for!!
I have the classes that I had always wanted in my life..
I have a home that I never thought I would have..
I have the nicest most caring and beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life!!

I just don't know!!
I feel it is not enough!!

I feel so alone!!
I know my g/f will always be there for me..
but, i have no family support..
I have.. no friend support..
and teachers fail to recognize what is going on in my life!!
They think they know everything!!
well... they don't!!

i'm sick and tired of everything!!
Why couldn't I be gifted like everyone else?

why did I had to get a bad grade on something that I worked on extremely hard?!
I got a 66% on my Physics test on Energy and Momentum..
I worked on it so hard!!
nothing I do!! no matter how hard I try!! It always turns out wrong!!
i'm tired!!
i'm just sick of it!!

Last night I said to hell with the homework!!
I don't care anymore!!

I always see my friends.. and they are always happy!! IDK what they do that they are always happy!!
IDK!! IDFK!!!

Everything I have always worked for.. throughout my whole life! It's not paying off!!
it is not!!
it's like..
someone else is taking all my hard work away!!
it's as if they are taking everything away from me!!
idk... I don't know!!!

Answer 1

You are choosing to look at things in a negative light rather than make the best of things. Learn your lessons in life. Everyone has his or her own issues to deal with. Some people deal with them, some people give up. Often the path we take is not similar to the one we intended, perhaps due to sources out of our control. We stumble, we pick ourselves up, we brush ourselves off, we learn our lessons, and we proceed from there. Without the tough times, we cannot fully appreciate the good times and we don't become stronger and wiser.
For example... I was 18 and unmarried when I got pregnant, just out of high school. I married the father and moved overseas with him (he was in the military). My daughter was born and was sickly right from the beginning. When she was 4 months old, she was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, a lifelong progressive illness which is terminal. I was 19 years old at that time. My son was born a little over a year later. His having the same illness was against the odds, but he was also diagnosed with the same illness. I was 20 years old. A couple years later, their father and I got divorced. I was a single mom with two terminally ill children who had to live by certain low income standards just to keep them covered by Medicaid, which was the only insurance that would accept them at the time as they require very expensive treatment for their illness. So... this definitely was not the path I had expected for myself. But, I had to find a way to feel successful and because I could not really be successful in the workforce due to income guidelines, I went to college and became successful at that. I probably wouldn't have considered college if it hadn't been for our circumstances. I will only briefly mention that I also was stricken with an autoimmune illness throughout this time that caused me to have to endure several (like, a dozen) reconstructive surgeries, of which I am still going through. But, today I am 39 years old and very thankful for the path I chose. I'm wiser in ways that are difficult to describe. I learned so much through those hard times and they were hard sometimes, especially financially, but I sure know how to stretch a dollar further than the average person would believe, and now that my kids are grown, I have my own business, with partial credit to my college degree. Where would I be if it hadn't been for the cards I was dealt? I really don't even want to know. I am very content where I'm at. You can be too. You just have to look at things from a different perspective. I hope this helps you. Don't give up-- you'll be just find. Watch and see. Good luck.

Answer 2

First of all, that 3.4 GPA is pretty darn good, kiddo!! Kudos to you for that accomplishment!

Wow, you seem very bitter, for such a young guy. Trust me when I tell you that things will get better as you get older and gain a different perspective on life. Right now you are emotional and young. And, yes, I know the last thing you want is to listen to preaching from some old lady! LOL

But, after you've lived almost 40 years like I have, you'll come to realize that all the things that you thought were the end of life as you knew it, weren't that big after all.

Hang in there, kiddo, you can do it. Surround yourself with positive people and let all of the negativity go. You are much to young to sound so bitter, dear one.

Take time to have some fun and do some things that you enjoy. Take care of YOU...love yourself. Hold onto that great sounding girlfriend that you have and the POSITIVE friends that love and SUPPORT you, okay?

Life is a blessing, a gift, and a privilege. LIVE IT!!

Answer 3

It sounds like you're feeling stuck. Maybe you should look into finding what is is you really want to do in life. Don't rush things. You sound like a very intelligent person with a lot of oppertuinity in front of you. Everyone feels like life is **** at one point or another. I feel that way now. I dot know what i want to go to school for anymore ive changed my major 4 times and still am not happy. It definatly sucks having the no good feeling. I say just kick back look at your situation from the bright side dont do what you dont want to and know that you have a multitude of options out there everywhere. Im sure people notice how well you have done and how bright you are maybe its you who isnt noticing. Dont rely on other people to tell you your good you need to know that you are and let yourself feel good about that. Do what you want to do not what you feel you have to. I dont know exactly how you feel if your suicidal or not but here are a couple of numbers you can call if you want to just talk to someone.
1-800-784-2433 and 1-800-273-8255
I hope that today was just a crappy day for you and that tomorrow you wake up and realize that its not as bad as you think it is. You're so young and from the sound of it really smart. Just wait doors will open wide and youll figure it out. You have a ways to go. Be posotive and dont be afraid to ask for help from people. And believe me friends arent all their cracked up to be and family is tricky you have to be strong and make them hear you and what you want. And if their not supportive forget about them. I hope you decide to try and figure this out.

Answer 4

At least you got accepted into a school...not everyone can say that. I know what you mean...I didn't feel like I could live up to what my older brother and sister. They are so smart and my parents wanted me to be like them, but I just couldn't. I tried really hard in school and I did pretty good but of course not as good as them. Then one day they had this open model call ( where you could try out for modeling) and I just tried it out. I didn't think anything of it, and then the next day they called me and told me they wanted to sign me to a modeling agency! I couldn't believe it! Now I'm about to go on my first fashion show and I am soo excited! What I'm trying to say is that no matter how you feel now it will get better and you shouldn't feel like you should end it because you are important to a lot of people...we all are. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 5

Don't forget that you are not alone in this world. I don't know anyone (including myself) that has not gone through a period like you are going through. It's good that you are posting here. Don't keep it to yourself. Share these feelings with a parent, friend, pastor, doctor or family member.

These feelings are real, but you've done some things right. You are about to graduate. That in itself is a great accomplishment. But sometimes our feelings get out of wack with the facts and we can't enjoy what we have achieved.

I've been there and I finally got help from a doctor. After a few weeks I was feeling more normal again.

Ask for help. You'll be glad you did.

Answer 6

take a breath. hold it. count to 10. Let it out slowly.

Now...let's get to the bottom of this...
1. you are most likely suffering from SAD. either that or depression. try going for a slow walk outside. The more green the better (trees, grass, etc)

take a breath. hold it. count to 10. Let it out slowly.

2. you are not feeling anything that every other person has felt at one point or another. You are getting ready for a BIG change (going to college) and you are stressing out. again...

take a breath. hold it. count to 10. Let it out slowly.

3. As for aerospace engineer, I work with 2 dozen at least. Not one is beyond me. It's just a job with a lot of learing behind it. If you decide it's not what you want to do, it doesn't matter 80% of college graduates do not graduate in the same major they went in with. At least you'll be in school and can change majors along the way.

take a breath. hold it. count to 10. Let it out slowly.

Talk to an adult. A guidence councellor, someone at your community center, any adult you feel comfortable with. Getting it out will help and the adult will know where you're coming from.

take a breath. hold it. count to 10. Let it out slowly.

now. If you're still suicidal and just feel like you are at the bottom of your rope, call your doctor. They will make sure you are taken seriously and find you the help you need

good luck

If you need to talk, e-mail me and we can talk some more...

Answer 7

Holy cow - you sound like my brother!
How about thinking of everything you have going for yourself and not about how much "recognition" you are getting. Just think about how that hard work has paid off and gotten you into college - how keeping up that hard work in college will only make your life better... You are on the verge of greatness - don't give up on yourself now.

Answer 8

You are simply stressed out!! Maybe a doctor can get you on some calm down drugs as you probably cannot aford a vacation right now. Millions of americans are taking these drugs,so don't think it as a character flaw!!

Answer 9

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Answer 10

I think that you need to talk to your doctor and let him or her know how you feel and what is going on they can help you put you on meds that will make you feel better and not so down on yourself all the time.