I really care about both my parent's , and I dont know what to do, my parent's are going to spilt up , and the house is going to be sold, my mom is going to get her own apartment, and my dad's mom is going to buy him a new house, I'm nineteen and I feel that I need to take care of them both, I dont want to live with my dad, cause he abuses me metaley, and no one cares for my mother, I'm the only one who till talks to my mom, for things she did in the past and I forgive her, I want to live with her, but I think my dad will dis own me, and also will his family, but when I take care of my mom, no one will take care of my dad, I have a sister , who is 16 , but is wild, and wont help around the house, and hates my mom. What should I do, I dont want to be around my dad, cause If I live with him, I think he's going to hurt me , cause I'm afraid of him. Cause his anger towards my mother, help.
2007-03-06 07:02:16 · 14 answers · asked by kitty 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He tells me , I'm no good like my mother, and I'm a loser, I should be like my perfect sister. And he tells me I'll never make it in life.
2007-03-06 07:03:21 · update #1
It's tearing me up, cause this was going on since I was 1 years old.
2007-03-06 07:05:32 · update #2
And lease dont be rude.
2007-03-06 07:07:18 · update #3
This should be a no brainer, go and live with your mom. You both need each other, and she will not mentally abuse you. From what you wrote your father says to you, he has already disowned you.
2007-03-06 07:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost you have to protect yourself and take care of you! Do you HAVE to live with either one of them????
If you can, live with a neutral third party, like your Grandma, if she will understand if you try to help both Dad and Mom.
Sounds like you look just like your Mom when she was your age. That is why he is mean to you. He is not seeing you he is seeing her, and taking that anger out on you.
This is a really bad thing and indicates your Dad may not have as good of a grip on reality as could be wished. From what you have said he also has real anger management problems.
Be careful here sorry but my concern must be for you not them. Do not get caught in the cross fire. I mean that figuratively and literally. If your Dad gets violent at any time bail out and let cops handle it.
If you are active in a church at all talk to the pastor and see if he will help with Grandma. If not and you think father's family may disown you then it is time to go OFF to school. Like in an other town.
2007-03-06 15:15:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your dad is mentally abusive to you then you definitely should not be with him until he gets the help he needs to heal and be a better father and that is up to him to make those things happen. As sad as this situation is-it is obvious your only choice is to stay with your mom. She is going to need your help and by that I mean you need to be a good student, respectful, help her around the apartment and don't get in to trouble and cause more grief for her than she is already going through. Time will hopefully smoothe some of this over but right now in this moment your only obligation is to focus on school and be a good daughter. Don't worry about your dad and your sister or anything else. Focus on yourself and stay strong!
2007-03-06 15:09:22 · answer #3 · answered by conservamommy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all it sounds as if your father is an abuser, so you really don't want to go to live with him. Everyone makes mistakes in life, we are human and not Jesus. It sounds as if you try to be the best person you can be and you should be proud of that. If your mom has the ability to have you live with her I'd say go there. It is not your responsibility to care for your mom unless she is physically ill, she's an adult and needs to take care of herself. If she suffers from depression or other illness make sure she sees a doctor and takes medication properly but other than that she should be taking responsibility for her life. It doesn't sound as if it will be a great loss if your father disowns you as he is abusive already and no one needs to suffer thru that!!! Good luck to you and God Bless you.
2007-03-06 15:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry this situation has come up. I really don't think your sister hates your mom(but i dont know her) she's prob/ just as scared as you but has a diffrent way of showing it. You shouldnt have to worry about taking care of your parents. They're grown people and if they were able to take care of ur sis and u, they should have no proble taking care of your self. IM SO SORRY ABOUT THE WAY YOUR DAD ABUSES YOU MENTALLY. You should live with ur mom to keep your self safe. Which ever you chose you should visti them as much as you can
sorry for this situation ur going through. stay strong.
2007-03-06 15:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you will make it in life!...i think it might be best for you to find somewhere other than with either of your parents to stay...maybe rent your own apartment with a friend...i dont think you should feel as though you have to take care of your mother b/c no one else will...she should be able to take care of herself...and as for you father...dont let him get you down..he obviously has no control in his life and doesnt understand what his negativity is doing to you...i'd suggest taking yourself out of this abusive situation and just move on with out them...and if you feel you can, take your sister with you and help her clean up her life...or let her stay with your father since he thinks shes sooo perfect
2007-03-06 15:07:43 · answer #6 · answered by icingonthekake99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop worrying about ever body else and get on with your own life. Make something of your self and become a better person. I know it hurts but it's not worth the mental anguish they are causing you. Good luck.
2007-03-06 15:09:20 · answer #7 · answered by chris 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are 19 and don't have to put up with his sh!t anymore. Guess what, if he disowns you then it is his loss. Stick with your mom or go on your own with some friends. You can do it! Good luck!
2007-03-06 16:40:57 · answer #8 · answered by Li 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're nineteen. Why the heck would you want to live with either one? What do you care if a man that tells you that you are a no-good looser disowns you. Live with your mother or by yourself.
2007-03-06 15:06:05 · answer #9 · answered by just browsin 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know it's easy to place the burden of this situation on yourself, but you really shouldn't. your parents are both adults and (hopefully) can fend for themselves. you need to do what's best for you. from what you wrote, it sounds like you'd be better off with your mom than with your dad. good luck...
2007-03-06 15:10:16 · answer #10 · answered by Haiti Cherie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋