if its not okay to hit an adult if they do somthing you dont like then why would you think its okay to hit...?

Question

a child if they do somthing you dont like?

example, if your boss asks you to file some paper work and youdont, its not right for boss to slap you if you dont do it. why would you do it to a child. and i know that you are thinking, i dont hit my children that hard but what is not painful to us is to them adn my question to you, why are you hitting your children if your not trying to inflict pain to teach a lesson? what does hitting teach? Fear? Anger? Hate?
what do you think?
remember when you are answering, im just asking for opnion. i was beat brutally by my mother and hugged by my father. i was a very confused child who grew to hate and fear my mother. i never came to her for help, i never respected her or cared what she had to say about life. she was dead to me.

laura- thats my point. why would you spand your child if (for ex) they played in mud? or didnt eat all their dinner? its stupid and only makes them realize that discovering (or not eatting untill they want to puke) is bad.

Answer 1

I don't consider children to be adults. A child's brain hasn't fully developed, we as parents need to create consequences that their developing brain will understand. You also wouldn't put your employee's in timeout, or start counting to 3.

I respect your opinion on the matter, I would never suggest someone use spanking if they don't believe in the method. We must use what we believe in. In our home, we use every method out there, that includes spanking when it's called for.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Regardless of what method of punishment parents choose...COMMUNICATION is the only way to make any of them work.

My mother spanked me but she also told my why. I didn't get spanked very often...because I always knew ...if I do this or that...spanking would be the consequence...

I'm not a child abuser, I'm not a serial killer and I didn't "hate" or "fear" my parents or anyone else. I turned out ok and I plan to use the same methods on my son.

Parents should use whatever means are effective for their particular child...if my mom had tried to do a "time out" I would have laughed in her face.

It sounds like what you went through was not discipline...it was plain flat out abuse...that doesn't teach anything and I'm sorry you went through it.

There's a difference between physical abuse and corporal punishment and I think it's a fine line that often gets lost in the shuffle during debates.

Answer 3

If you are asking about spanking that is different then being hit or slapped. I don't have a problem with it as long as it is a last resort and not done in anger. I think parents who spank in anger can cross the line very easily. I personally would never spank to inflict fear in my child and if that happened I would probably never spank again. I also do not have anything against parents who never spank, I think it is something that needs to be approached separately with every child. You always see the children who just laugh when they are spanked and obviously that doesn't work for them. Time outs and other methods don't work in other children. I think it is just something that needs to be worked out for every child.

Answer 4

You are right, hitting does teach fear, anger and hate. You will notice that alot of people who were spanked as children will go on to spank their children. The cycle of abuse. What kind of twisted thinking is this: "I was spanked and it made me a better person, I deserved it etc..." What a load of CR**.
Beating, slapping and hitting are classified as physical child abuse and it states that in the Child Abuse definition on various sites. I don't think it is okay at all to hit children. Hitting is assault for everyone but a parent right? It is a dead beat debate especially for people who don't care and take the easy/lazy approach and hit. We never hit our children and are very in favor of discipline. There are other alterntatives to discipline that work and are effective. Do we go and smack children in a childcare setting to teach them to behave? Never because it is disrespectful, humiliating and negative. I am a positive person and love children. I feel sorry for what you have gone through and you definitely are a survivor. Children so young don't have a voice and need protection. This is why nowadays, spanking is starting to look like a ridiculous way of discipline. It is a symbol of trash. (watch me get all the thumbs down)

Answer 5

I am sorry to hear about your childhood, mine was somewhat the same. I am a farm boy that would get hit with objects such as a willow branch, fly swatter, etc. The many punishment was the willow branch, that actually taught me a lot. Once you are told you have to go pick out the stick yourself that you are going to get hit with, it make you not want to have to do it again. So i learned from a young age that i didnt want to get hit, so i did learn not to get into trouble. Anywho as far as the adult hitting another adult/child thingy. The reason i feel that its not ok for adults to hit and its ok to hit your kids is becuase as kids they dont know right from wrong very well, therefore you make them learn, and no, the grounding and sitting in the corner doesnt work, my cousins are like that and they havent learned anything for it, and adults have been taught what is rigth and wrong and therefore they dont need to be spanked/hit.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry you went through that as a child!!

I think it's easy to get out of control once you start hitting a child. And, they don't have the ability to understand what you are doing or why. Hitting/Spanking is NOT an natural consequence.

Answer 7

Spanking isnt HITTING. A swat on the tush is not hitting your child. I was beat as a child 2 by both parents, I feel spanking for the right reason , is fine. Spanking is on the bottom and no marks are left from spanking.

My children dont hate me or fear me. My son is 15 and has told me he deserved way more spankings then he got . I have a good relationship with them.

As a parent you cant just stand back watch them going down the wrong path and whisper oh honey dont do that. You have to deal with it and move on. Get them back on track, if that means a few swats on the tush so be it. I always tell them why, and always warn them 2 times prior to spanking. I always follow it with I love you. I have spanked them less then a handfull of times each. son is 15 daughter is 6. I only spank if its bad.

Example, My son did not what to go to bed one night when he was 9. I was 8 months pregnant, he kicked me in the tummy, I spanked him....I told him what he did, why I spanked , and what he did could have hurt the baby..... He went to his room made me an Im sorry card, and gave it to me, and kissed my belly and said sorry to his sister in my tummy.... When she was born and he held her he told her sorry again.......... so he learned from 2 little swats............

Answer 8

You are simplifying something that is not simple. Plus, you are clearly biased as you were abused as a child.

All that aside, are you a parent? If not, how do you know you'll never spank? You don't. either way, you're in no position to tell other people how to parent.

You clearly have issues. You should get some help.

Answer 9

I only spank my children when what they are doing could possibly hurt them worse. Example: running into the street. A spanking does hurt but NOTHING like getting hit by a car. I do it to try to teach them that they can cause themselves pain. Other than that.. I don't.

Answer 10

When I spank my children, it's because I love them and I want the best for them. Even if my children don't understand that now, I trust that they will when they get older. Your mother didn't do it out of love. What she did was hateful and cruel.