do you think kids that are still in school can make a perfect marriage?

Question

Well me and my fiance have been together for about 1 year and 10 months but my parents don't know him that well and they think we won't last b/c we started young, but they don't know how much he cares for me and how much we been through. What do you think? (we are both 18 got engaged at 17)

Answer 1

i got engaged at 16 got married at 17 and have been married for 24 eyars now. it isnt youre parents who have to live with each of you. you have to make sure you love each other enough to stick with the other thru thick and thin. if you know in youre heart and soul he is the one then there is nothing wrong with it if youre not sure wait. good luck

Answer 2

First no marriage is 'Perfect' and expecting one to be is a sure road to disaster.

Believe me when I tell you this: Marriage is a thousand times harder than school. Ask any long married couple and throw out the crap about 100% compatibility. The only way this could happen is if one is a doormat for the other. Then the dominant partner will likely get bored with the doormat and throw away the relationship.

Can two young kids make a good marriage at such a young age? Yes, I've seen it happen with one of my sisters. But my other sisters who married young - well, I wouldn't give a warm bucket of spit for any of their marriages (although one has been married 46 years and another going on 35 years.) To make this happen both parties have to greatly respect the other's opinion and be a good listener.

Is it likely? I think not. I wish they did the divorce statistics in age groups - I bet the vast majority divorces occur in the marriages that were made when one or the other of the couple were 25 or younger.

If the two of you truly love each other, wait a year or five before making the big leap. Get an education, any education will make you a better spouse, parent, citizen - especially if you take a few management classes. You'll still have decades ahead of you to be together.

Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 3

If you are asking others here on Yahoo (oh my gosh, about whether or not you should get married) and cannot open up to your parents like a mature person, then NO, you are NOT ready for marriage, much less subsequent children that will probably follow. From the time you are 18 to the time you are say in your late twenties, your mind goes through many changes, and this includes changes about what you are looking for in a potential life mate. What you want at 18 is probably NOT what you will want at 26 or 27. This idea you have been through a lot together is nonsense. I don't know what "a lot" is, but if it's the usual teen stuff, or perhaps some other events that teens blow out of proportion, then you have really been through nothing. Kindly rethink this whole thing and at the very least, stay engaged for a while and give yourself and him, an opportunity to grow and change (both of you will) before you dash headlong into marriage. The chances are if you do it now, you will come to regret it in a couple of years.

Answer 4

No, the chances of it are slim to none. Stay engaged if you want, but I would certainly put off marriage for several more years. You two care for each other (didn't see the word love in there), but as for how much you two have been through is questionable. There's a lot more living to do with you two being only 18. I have alot more values and a broader outlook on life and what I want and need now at 35 than I did when I was 19 and got married. And you answered your own question in your question...you asked if KIDS that are still in school... Kids shouldn't get married.

Answer 5

It's not unheard of to make it so young, but it's very unlikely. You're going to change so much in the next few years, and so I suggest that you just stay engaged until after you're finished college. Stay together, work through the next few years, but DON'T GET MARRIED. People break up all the time between the ages of 18 and 23/24. The fact is that you're more stable in your mid-twenties, in a lot of ways, and you want to be sure about things. It's a lot easier to get out of a relationship than a marriage.

P.S. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage.

Answer 6

First and most importantly, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Please rid yourself of that notion. There are good marriages, and they still have rough patches, arguments, hills and valleys, obstacles, communication difficulties, misunderstandings, money problems, sex problems, parenting problems--I could go on all day.

There are definitely good marriages that began when the couple was young and have lasted. However, I think you should postpone a wedding until your parents have a chance to get to know your fiance and he gets to know them. This is important because every marriage is enhanced by family support, and a young marriage needs it even more.

Have you and your fiance talked about money? Sex? Children? Parenting? Is one of you a spender and the other a saver? Do you both want children? Do you want the same number? Do you believe in spanking while he doesn't? Do you plan to own a home someday while he is content to rent? Do you both plan to work? What would you do if one of you was unable to work for a while? Could you get by? Most young couples never discuss these difficult topics, yet these are the ones that will cause your marriage to get rocky if they are left unexplored.

Answer 7

In an infinite amount of time, anything that can happen, will happen. That's a fancy way of saying, "sure, it could happen, but don't bet on it". You two are at the beginning of huge changes in your lives. Think about it. You have been in a learning mode, and pretty much had your lives controlled by other people; first your parents, then school and teachers. You are right on the edge of jumping off into the world to find out who you are and where your lives are going to take you. You don't have enough information to make a committment of this magnitude. I'm not going to belittle your affection for each other, in fact, I'm sure it's true....for now. Give yourselves time to explore, to grow, to make (smaller) decisions on your own. When I tell you that neither of you will be the same in 2 years, I mean it sincerely, and that is terrific news. Don't sell this time in your life short, or his. Keep your committment to each other for another couple of years, compared to a life-long, life-changing committment, that's not too long. If you end up still together in 2 years, you'll know you have at least tried to get enough information to make a good decision. I wish you and him both happiness on your journey, make it a good one.

Answer 8

well it can mork but did you know that almost every relatioship that was started young ends badly i was in your same spot i got ingagded and it was so great until after a while we both realized we needed to grow up

did you know that right now is the time where people find themselves and what they want in this life and if you get into a relationship and get married it will be double the work to stay together and i can promise you one thing there will come a point in yoiu marriage where you will regret getting married so young cus you didnt get to live life and yoiu didnt get to date and go out with friends and be a teenager

EXPENCES ________________________
oh also one other thing where will you live
cus a small apartment where i live is about 500$ a month plus about 200 for water and electric stuff

and you will need about 100 for gas each car a month
and insurance is about 100 each car each month
and food is about 200 to 300 hundred a month
plus you medical bills which for a good year can be on average 5 to 10 thousand a year and thats if you dont have anything big happen

ok so now lets get in to college for one class that is only one credit its about 300 hundred dollars and thats only one class

so now lets see what else if you have any care problems or house problems or get into a car crash that could be thousand of dollars and of course if you get married you will be having sex and there is a HUGE chance you will get pregant and that is thousand of dollars there to

so are you really ready for all this babe

Answer 9

Sounds young. Here's why: when you're 30, you'll regret not having waited. If you get married at, say, 25, you'll feel like you had more time of "freedom" (not meaning to imply that marriage is bad).

The way you talk (write?) about this sounds like you might not be making a level-headed decision. Maybe you are, so no offense. It's just that "they don't know how much he cares for me and how much we been through" is often said by people who are young, in love, and haven't really thought it through. Maybe you have. But it's worth thinking about.

At your age, you might as well wait. If you still want to be married in another year or two, then do it.

Answer 10

The fear they have in your both having started young is that you truly don't know enough about yourselves as individuals let alone as a couple, and hence your relationship will have to endure a lot of personal change.

You've only recently created your identity and gained a sense of self...you will continue to mold and change your opinions on your self and your relationship with the world and the people in it as you continue to grow and experience life. Hardship and difficulty is a given; it's what truly makes us grow. Often we tend to view our lives in relation to that special "other" person in it - if your sense of self is too deeply rooted in what your relationship with your fiance is NOW, you may not weather changes very well in the future - and CHANGE is inevitable for you both.

A marriage takes patience, understanding, compromise, and a lot of work to endure just the normal curve balls life throws our way. Having to handle this AND the change you most certainly will go through as individuals just in the next 10 years is difficult for most, and certainly your lack of life experience will make it more difficult as you haven't fully grown into your own. I've changed radically from the person I was when I was 18 (I'm 31 now and single since 24). Even more so from 25 to 30. It's only now that I can actually say I know myself enough to know what I want from life and what I expect of myself and others.

Your parents certainly must love you tremendously to care enough to express their concerns but not try to stop you from making your own decisions. This is one where you have to decide - and experience the full consequences of your decision, good and bad.

Good luck to you.