Turn the other cheek?

Question

when ever i "Turn the other cheek" i give my rivals another chance to hurt me.

the problem is when you forgive, people see it a weekness. They dont understand that you are forgiving them, they think that you are scared or something. but when you make them pay they respect you.

people mix between weekness and fogiving, between forgiving and the abilty to beat the crap out of them!

so what is the solution? is there any lines not to be crosed? how can i forgive people that if i fogive them they will see it as a weekness?

i know its "weakness"
im just not in a good mood to worry about my spelling.

Answer 1

Having worked VERY hard on forgiveness issues in the past I have this to share:
My experiences are related to someone who is not currently/nor do I want in my life. If this is a friend or someone you want to keep in your life, you really need to talk to them about your feeling that they take advantage of your forgiveness. If it continues to happen, they aren't your friend. Move on without them - I know it can be difficult - but you will be much better off in the future without someone like that in your life.
Based on my experiences:
First, forgiveness is about YOU not them. I don't forgive in order to "free them" but to free myself. Bitterness and anger will eat you alive if you let it. You don't even have to "tell the person" they are forgiven. Forgiveness is about you not holding a grudge, bitterness or hate in your heart. It is about working through it and being able to move beyond the issue for YOUR OWN sake.
Second, forgiveness shows STRENGTH not weakness! It takes a much stronger person to work through things in their own heart and be able to forgive.
Third, forgiveness DOES NOT mean you have to put yourself in the position of being hurt again. You can forgive them and STILL either take them out of your life or be more guarded with them until they have EARNED your trust. Not everyone deserves the gift of your trust.
Take heart, tough issue, but I know you will work through it.

Answer 2

It depends on the circumstances. Sometimes you need to react and let people know you've been hurt or angered by a situation. You can't always say "it's ok". Making someone deal with the fact that they've hurt or offended you and forgiving them is two different things.

People need boundaries and consequences to keep a relationship of any kind healthy. You can hold them accountable and forgive them too.

Also sometimes people need to be put in their place. If you've got to get into someone’s face to let them know you're not messing around, do it. I don't advise doing this often because you'll be looked at as a bully but you have to evaluate the situation and sometimes as a last resort it a necessity.

Answer 3

Well, if you are practicing compassion and forgiveness and you know you have studied your intentions and know that they come from a place of true forgiveness then it is actually the weakness in the other person not be be able to accept it. I think there is a good argument for 'turning the other cheek' (it means something else is Buddhism). When you turn the other cheek you aren't increasing your enemies or another persons suffering. It hurt you to be 'hit' but it didn't hurt you to forgive. You've actually taken the power to create more anger and increase enemies out of the interaction. Best to you.

Answer 4

That's the challenge. Christianity is about exposing your vulnerability. The natural inclination is to show how tough you are. Christianity implies that there is a greater strength beyond self-sufficiency.

Yes, you are endangering yourself by forgiving, by turning that cheek. But consider, there are three options: hit back, stay, or run. You are not fighting but you are not running either. You are staying. What you prove is that attacking is not ultimately effective. Your body can be injured but your spirit cannot be touched.

By acting against "common sense", you teach the other to think in a new way, one that involves compassion, cooperation and concern for others, not just bashing your way to your objectives. It's a lonely world if you have to do it all on your own. By taking care of the needs of others, you insure their interest in your own welfare.

It's not an instant lesson, and some people may be too dumb (or wounded themselves) to ever get it. It may seem strange that the teacher is the one who suffers, but eventually, most people come to understand that there's more to life than punishment and reward. That's the idea. You just have to have the spiritual endurance to get them there.

Answer 5

Those are the risks you take by trying to follow those beliefs. The reason you turn the other cheek is to give your rival a chance to strike at you. You should forgive people because it is the right thing to do not to gain a benefit from it. There is nothing wrong with appearing weak in these ways.

Answer 6

Forgiving is not a weakness. if anything it is a strength. people who hurt you for forgiving probably do not understand it. they may have had hard lives and don't know what it means to be forgiven for something they know is wrong. If you are strong enough to listen to the bible and forgive then i say keep going and maybe try talking with people who see it as a weakness

Answer 7

Where does it say in the Bible that Jesus was a doormat? You forgive, but you don't allow them to walk all over you. There is a very clear difference between forgiveness, and weakness, and it's up to you to set those boundaries yourself. God won't smite you for respecting yourself, and accepting only respect from others.

Answer 8

First of all, it's spelled weakness.

Okay now that that's out of the way, why do you care? You don't have to take the bible so literally, I would stand up for myself. You can forgive people sure but don't let people walk all over you. Why are you soooo worried about forgiveness? You can forgive anybody, there is always something positive about everyone. Just look for that.

Answer 9

Just because it says turn the other cheek doesn't mean you allow people to harm you! Its treat others as you want to be treated, but you also have to treat yourself the way you want to be treated and that means not letting people walk all over you. Remember Jesus did throw people out of the temple because they were selling there, and he wasn't very nice about it! You can forgive and stand your ground!Tell them they will not do that again! You have to act not react, good luck that's a hard lesson to learn.

Answer 10

In the words of Teddy Roosevelt, talk softly and carry a big stick. Some people are actually capable of respecting another human without trying to exploit them them. In such a case, you can talk softly and respectfully to them. Then there are those people who don't respect anyone and can only learn through fear and punishment, which is what the big stick is for.