I have a 4 year old son, he is a twin. I give him much attention because the girl is a daddy's girl. He he hard headed. He will no listen nor help do little things and his sister will. He fights with her and doesn't listen at school. Sound all very normal i know, but he gets so angry and throw things at people or lays on the floor and wont move. I do not know what to do. Reward system didn't work, time out didn't work. spanking doesn't. he just ignores all this. He tells me he don't want to me here with me and want to leave. If i head towards the door he cries bloody murder for me and says he sorry. PLEASE help. I am getting too frustrated for all this. Any suggestions welcome.
2007-03-06 05:52:35 · 7 answers · asked by Rhonda B 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Encourage him. Everytime he does something wrong, encourage him to do the right thing. Rewards and punishments usually don't work because the child will feel that the only way to get your approval is to do something right or the only way to get your attention is do something wrong. Tell him that when he fights with his sister, it hurts her. If she cries, make him physically touch her tears but do not make him apologize. Tell his sister to put her hand out and say stop so that she sticks up for herself. Keep loving and encouraging him to make the right decision. Good luck.
2007-03-06 06:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by falfalmgal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems like you son is doing a fine job of training you.
Now that's alternative discipline.
Basically your son is doing what you should be.
He is basically standing by what he feels is the best course of action.
It doesn't matter what type of disipline or system you use. What matters is you stand by your choice. The saying"Rome wasn't built in a day" comes to mind. You are not giving any chance for any type of parenting system to work.
As I said earlier, your son is the same no matter what you try. And he is succeeding where you are not. That's because he is consistent in what he is doing. So you need to be the same as well. If you can choose a system and stick with that system you will eventually be more successful then he is.
Good Luck.
2007-03-06 14:08:52 · answer #2 · answered by Tyson boy's dad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be firm and stand your ground. First off, your son doesn't know the consequences for his actions. He throws things at people, fights with his sister, and gets in trouble at school. Perhaps he could be acting out because he isn't getting as much attention from daddy. He could also just need to know what it feels like when he inflicts pain on someone else. Maybe you need to show him what that feels like. Your son is calling for attention and one of you need to give it to him. The attention I am talking about is dicipline. Be consistant and be strong. Thank you and good luck.
2007-03-06 14:02:24 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start taking away his privileges from him. Something he loves to do take away first and keep taking away till he has nothing. Keep talking with him and try to explain to him why it is happening how he can change and if he dosent or if he does. You need to make him understand that you are in control not him. Does the father help at all with this?? He must be involved too. Not just with the girl. Here are a few sites you can check out to see if they can give you more insight.
http://www.montekids.org/kkh/discipline/
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/discipline.html
http://www.essortment.com/in/Children.Parenting.Discipline/
2007-03-06 14:08:22 · answer #4 · answered by ByouTfull 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good thing to remeber is that I child needs to see you at their level. Holding them close to you and kneeling down to their level, try to explain to them what they have done wrong. Ask them if they know how this can be resolved and talk about appropriate ways to act.
Keep in mind that time outs are not old fashioned. place them ina chair in the middle of a room, if needed. If they will not stay them don't give up and keep calm (they can sence when you are getting frusterated and this will cause them to get worse, trying to get you to give up) Keep placing them back on the chair, and like i mentioned before get down to their level and try calmly resoning with them. remember talking is always the best key. help them understand what they are doing wrong-----hope this helps a little
2007-03-06 14:02:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I use taking away toys and not giving them back for a long time
I also use ignoring, I walk away and say "I am not talking to you anymore," keep this up for atleast 5 minutes each time and he will learn his lesson
2007-03-06 14:01:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs control. Don't let him pick weather you stay or go. You decide (you are the parent)
Either that or you can't replace his father's attention.
2007-03-06 14:09:57 · answer #7 · answered by babypocket2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋