She had signed up with the airforce that was a great step. Now she feels she should go to college I told her to look at the last for years of highschool and tell me if she was ready. She is just out of control in the way she talks to me and her stepdad of 15 yrs. Its so hard but you want to be fair on one hand but on the other she is so disrespectful to us how do i handle her and convence her that the airforce has so much to offer her. She needs time to grow up.
2007-03-06 05:37:01 · 31 answers · asked by russokimberly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She's 18. Give her the keys to her life, and kick her out of the house.
Either she'll get responsible and grow up fast, or she'll self-destruct.
If it's the former, she'll realize what a favor you did for her, and be grateful.
If it's the latter, then at least you didn't prolong the inevitable.
By trying to maintain control over your ADULT daughter, and probably supporting her financially, you're retarding her growth. She needs to be supporting herself, and learning that the decisions SHE makes have consequences that SHE'S responsible for. You're just giving her the option of blaming the downward spiral of her life on you.
2007-03-06 05:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let her know you cannot afford to send her to college, and if it is really what she wants she can get it free Thru the airforce, Tell her not only will she be serving her country, she will also get many benifits because she is in the armed service. If she wants to go to a state college then she has to do the leg work and find out how, Do not make it easy for her. Let her know that you will help with her books or maybe other things. But you will have to find a part time job for your extra money you may
need These are OUR rules and there will be no other discussings about it. Do Not ingage in any discussions, don't give her the opportunate to make you feel guility, like your the parent and its your joy. NO WAY.Tell her to take a little time to think over the rules and make a decision.
2007-03-06 07:53:47 · answer #2 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i am 19, and i know no matter what my parents tell me i still made my own choice. She will make her choice, and sometimes you just have to let her learn the hard way. Tell her that the airforce will pay for her college if she goes and that she can do college that way. So tell her you will not pay for her college period and if she feels like she should go to college she can go through the air force to do that. She is 18 and legally an adult. You are NO LONGER responsible for her, even though im sure you feel that you are especially financially, but you are not. She needs a sense of the real world. Consider family therapy, it works wonders. But all 3 of you would have to go, and want things to get better.
Good Luck: Dont feel like your stuck, do not let her run your life. She will grow out of it, its a phase. I am closer now to my parents than i have ever been.
2007-03-06 05:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by craziglueforever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. Sorry if this is a bit harsh but it is the truth as I view it. It is you and your spouse that raised her. She did not just turn out this way by accident. Further, you scold her for her track record in school, yet your spelling needs help. You teach by example. You cannot push the airforce on her if that is not what she feels she wants. Especially in todays political climate, that is the LAST place I would want my child to be. In college, there are grade point averages that must be met or the student gets kicked out. I think she should try to get accepted and give a semester a shot. Though the airforce MIGHT teach her discipline it also may get her killed.
2007-03-06 05:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
college or the airforce either one is great. If you cant afford to pay for her college tell her she has to get loans find a part time job and support herself. if she is treating you with disrespect kick her out even if it hurts and tell her that when she is ready to appreciate what she has you guys will be there for her. Until then she has to live on her own. she is not a child anymore and she knows right from wrong. dont put up with her because if she doesnt learn now she will have it 100% worse later.
2007-03-06 05:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teenagers are hard to figure out. I think that you should let her know that
you would really like her to go into the air force. Don't force her to do it because the more you force her the more she will resist. Let her know that she can further her education tin the air force as well as travel all over.
My 14 year old is going into Army cadets after the March break, i think that will to him the world of good. I also have an 18 year old son and he has been at time disrespectful to me.
I am told by other people that he is very mannerly. His teachers have told me he's one of there favourite students. So what can you do? Hope they grow up and out of it.
Good luck with your daughter
2007-03-06 06:49:14 · answer #6 · answered by janet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you created a spoiled brat and now you want someone else to tell you how to handle her? She's 18. She is an adult. You no longer have any control over what she does, where she goes and how she screws up her life. If she wants to go to college then give her a big hug, tell her you hope she succeeds but since this is her decision and not one you agree with she has to find a way to pay for it herself. There are all sorts of college loans and grants for kids out there who can't pay for college up front, since most of them can't. Tell her she can come home on friday nights for dinner with the family but other than that she's on her own. Then you need to step back and stay out of it. Stop trying to nag and mother and control her to death.
2007-03-06 05:45:09 · answer #7 · answered by conservamommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to back off. You may think that the Airforce is a great option for her (perhaps you don't like her and want her to be killed/maimed/scarred for life as so many of our young people are these days?), but she's obviously having second thoughts.
It's her life and at 18, she's legally an adult. She is being disrespectful to you, because you are being disrespectful to her. The hardest part of a parent's job is knowing when to let go, so I'm going to tell you that NOW is the time for you to let go and let your daughter make her own decisions about her life. Just because you don't agree with them, doesn't mean they're wrong - just wrong for you. Love her and let her go.
2007-03-06 05:43:35 · answer #8 · answered by Wonderland 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hello,
I know what you are going through i have an 18yr.she give me problems and disrespectful to others and i feel that you did a wonderful job of raising your daughter and she need to grow and be a young woman, if she want to go into the AIR-FORCE let her. Maybe going in the force she will grow up and think about everything wrong that she did to you and know that she could have did things right while living at home with you. Take care
2007-03-06 06:10:42 · answer #9 · answered by LeeLee34Lickabooty-Minniemouse34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I'm only 18, but to tell you the truth I was a little out of control about a year ago, I disrespected my parents and plain didn't care. I took me moving out of my parents' house and having to pay bills and pay for college that I started looking back and realizing how much they did for me.
Send her to a community college, let her get a two year degree but watch her closely so she doesn't do the "first year college student thing", let she growing as a person, and mature, then she can make her decisions wiser.
2007-03-06 05:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by toneslilsweettease 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋